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Getting older is getting very expensive!

311 replies

JMAngel1 · 03/10/2020 07:10

Anyone else feel like this?
I’ve always been high maintenance since my teens but in the last year or so, the list of what I need to keep me looking well presented and feeling “normal” seems to be getting longer.

This morning I’ve just placed orders for what I now consider essentials - plumping serum, vaginal moisturiser, hair dye, neck and chest cream, hair styling cream, 4 different supplements and progesterone cream. I’m 48 and my budget seems to be going more and more on these types of products and there is less and less for clothes and pretty things like make up.

At this age I thought I would be shopping at Jaegar and John Lewis and buying Bobbi Brown or Charlotte Tilbury. Instead I have to buy from eBay and Primark and most of my makeup is MUA or NYX.
Anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
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WiserOwl · 04/10/2020 13:52

I know what you mean. But ironically I still spend less on toiletries and make up and so on than I used to.

No idea what vaginal moisturiser is but the progesterone cream gets a mention in leslie kenton's book ''passage to power''. 25 years old but mostly still relevant and a good book about menopause. (I'm 50)

I'm using a boots retinol moisturiser and elizabeth arden's vitamin c capsules (those are expensive). My neck does look less 50 something now so it's hard to stop doing it now I have believe I have seen a difference.

My focus has swung more towards health now though. But even looking healthy still takes work! And products!

I don't feel any symptoms of menopause that I'm aware of (yet) but I keep reading on here that there is a shortage of HRT so I'm afraid that one day it will be the right option for me.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/10/2020 13:59

I don’t think mares urine is used now, it was when dm started it.

Gwenhwyfar · 04/10/2020 14:00

"life expectancy has doubled in the last 80 years as per the ONS info here"

Yes, but low life expectance relfects infant death quite often - doesn't (necessarily) mean that most people used to die in middle age. That was my point. If you made it through infancy, you had a good chance to live to old age.

trumpisaflump · 04/10/2020 14:08

@gypsywater that's completely wrong. It's made from yams now. Premarin was made from pregnant mare's urine but as far as I'm aware that's not available now

Sleepingdogs12 · 04/10/2020 14:27

If you've been high maintenance since your teens then it is no surprise you are buying all these things now. I am low maintenance and always have been . Hopefully I don't look like I've just crawled from under a rock. It is just a choice you make, not sure what you want others to say really. Aging is going to happen , you decide how you respond to it.
Btw , unsure what you mean by your neck and chest collapsing. Are you usually looking unnaturally puffed up?
You sound like a marketing company's dream but if it makes you happy it is all good.

Abraid2 · 04/10/2020 14:35

@gypsywater

I only recently found out that HRT is made from the urine of horses that are kept continually pregnant Sad
Most women in the UK are given HRT gel/patches made from synthesised yams.
1forAll74 · 04/10/2020 16:04

Why on earth do you need to buy all this expensive beauty stuff. It is well known, that many cheaper products are just as beneficial. Looking after your skin in simple ways, for many years, is the best thing for good skin, unless you are one of the people who just buy into all the blurb about miracle products.

You would have more to spend on nice clothes if you didn't splurge on all this cosmetic stuff.. Don't know about John Lewis though, as never ever been into one of their stores.!

Othering · 04/10/2020 16:25

@wizzbangfizz

Misses point but vaginal moisturiser - is it to keep it looking young?
Not quite. It's to prevent vaginal atrophy and help with comfortable sex.
gypsywater · 04/10/2020 16:41

@Abraid2 Oh that is good to hear!

Abraid2 · 04/10/2020 16:44

Yes! A key factor in me changing my mind last year gypsy!

CaraDuneRedux · 04/10/2020 16:53

Even if you don't want to go down the full HRT route, you could get your GP to prescribe a topical oestrogen cream or pessaries. Almost guaranteed to work better than the vagisil (largely because you can only get oestrogen creams on prescription).

Ginfordinner · 05/10/2020 08:03

Thank you for starting this thread. I’m in the middle ground of being between high maintenance and a smug soap and water user.

I have been post-menopausal for over 10 years and am finding the main issues are thinning very dry wavy hair, a moustache that Poirot would be jealous of and the beginning of jowls. I am trying all sorts of stuff on my thinning hair and nothing works.

I was one of the lucky ones and sailed through the menopause with the main symptoms being hot flushes and migraines, both of which are long since gone.

I admit that I am finding the “I hate/don’t need hairdressers threads” rather smug and patronising because I just don’t have the type of hair I can do myself. During lockdown my hair was truly awful. Underneath the dye it is now completely grey, and growing out a short, layered bob resulted in a straggly, straw like mess with a one inch wide parting of grey. So I completely understand the frustration that those of you who need to use more products to keep your skin happy feel at the smug soap and water posters. I also agree that TableNiner has nailed it.

So, in my case my biggest expense is having my hair cut and coloured every 5 – 6 weeks. I am lucky however, that I can get away with soap and water plus serum and moisturiser. I have good skin and have been using moisturiser since the age of 15. Also, I can use any cleanser and moisturiser and am not loyal to any brand. I find the Superdrug Naturally Radiant range, which is as cheap as chips just as good as anything costing £30+, but I just think that is down to being lucky that I have even tempered skin.
As I am now WFH I very rarely wear make-up. Thankfully, I have dark eyebrows and eye lashes so don’t need any help there. Also, I am so very short sighted that I can’t tell whether any cream I use makes a difference. I just use a facial epilator for the moustache and that keeps it under control.

I’m now off to google retinol creams and dermawands, and am interested in recommendations for retinA/retinol creams and products for thinning hair.

DesignerDesigner · 05/10/2020 08:13

I only recently found out that HRT is made from the urine of horses that are kept continually pregnant

@gypsywater No it's not. Thats ONE sort which is hardly ever used now. Most of it is made from yams and is very natural- same as our own hormones.

DesignerDesigner · 05/10/2020 08:14

Not quite. It's to prevent vaginal atrophy and help with comfortable sex.

Over the counter stuff for your vag doesn't work really. Vaginal estrogen i s the only thing that really works.

CherryPavlova · 05/10/2020 08:24

I’m not convinced of additional expenses. Different, perhaps, but lots is entirely personal choice and will have far less impact on appearance of ageing than your genetic makeup.
My mother isn’t grey at 96. A few grey hairs but still brown to look at.

I spend more on hair cuts and colour now not because of ageing per se, but because I can afford and am in a more senior post so need to look less nuclear fall out than previously. I dislike hairdresser experience so minimise number of times I go. £140 about two or three times a year.

I use ordinary soap, shampoo and conditioner. I like quite nice ones - L’Occitane rather than Tesco’s own soap, but lasts forever and not silly money.

I slap on face moisturiser- Neals Yard at moment because it was a present and smells nice. I use a lot of hand cream. Jo Malone scent and body lotion, if I’m going out.

My clothes spend is less. I care not a fig generally, but have a strict work dress code. Dog walking comfort mostly, with a dozen or so work outfits and a few ‘going out’ clothes that I’ve had for a number of years. My clothes last a long time and I don’t do fashion; I think it’s the exact opposite of good taste, world friendliness and pro womanhood. Fashion is generally poor taste too.

Nails are just trimmed and kept reasonably short. Never had them done and actively dislike embellished, glittery talons.

My makeup bag is minimal. One each of foundation and concealer cream, eyeliner, mascara, and blusher. A couple of eyeshadows, three lipsticks. Had most for years. They still seem to do the trick.

DesignerDesigner · 05/10/2020 08:42

I think most of that stuff is a waste of money.

You really don't need it and it makes no difference.

Good skin is down to genes, diet, lifestyle and some good high SPF 365 days a year.

I use a basic cleanser, a decent moisturiser- never more than £30 - a good sun block (spf 45 or 50 every single day) and that's about it.

I do use make up and fairly high end, but I don't have masses and use every bit up before buying more.

I'm told I look around 50 when in fact I' m a lot older and get ID'd when asking for concessions for places.

I swear it's the sun block , used for the last 30 years.

Othering · 05/10/2020 12:16

@DesignerDesigner

Not quite. It's to prevent vaginal atrophy and help with comfortable sex.

Over the counter stuff for your vag doesn't work really. Vaginal estrogen i s the only thing that really works.

Exactly. That's what I said. Vagifem. Prescription only.
Ginfordinner · 05/10/2020 17:41

I think most of that stuff is a waste of money. You really don't need it and it makes no difference

It might to the OP. It would make no difference to me because I am lucky enought o have good skin, and at 61, perhaps worry less about looking my age. But if it does make people feeel better about themselves what's the harm?

DesignerDesigner · 05/10/2020 17:57

But the point @Ginfordinner is that the OP is complaining about the cost.

If she wants to save money then my opinion is she dumps a load of those products especially the pseudo-medical stuff for her hormones and gets the real McCoy from her GP if she needs it.

Ginfordinner · 05/10/2020 18:02

Oh right. I agree about getting something from the GP instead.

BlueThistles · 05/10/2020 23:08

OP enjoys her products, like many people do. It doesn't make them essential or a necessity but rather something to enjoy using. I love my skin products, I don't wear foundations, never have, my skin is amazing, is that down to nature or potions? who knows.. either way Im happy. I think if you enjoy caring for your skin by using these things and you can afford it then where's the harm. If your happy with just soap then that's great, for you. 🌺

Wagsandclaws · 06/10/2020 00:57

So I've read the thread, in all honesty I lost five stone and looked saggy and felt rubbish. I've still got 2.5 to go ( but failing miserably ) and I started to get Botox and Fillers in the last 3 years.

The difference it's made to my confidence is amazing, I've got a saggy neck from the weight loss but have threading done once a year to try and counteract that.

I like to look nice. I think it doesn't matter what you use on your skin cheap or expensive it's all topical anyway.

I have about 4 periods a year atm and apart from being a bit dryer 'down there' and my libido is a bit shite that's it so far. I do think about taking hrt but I don't think I need it yet.

This is a photo taken a few days ago, it was sunny and my makeup and hair had gone well that day, I'll be 50 in 15 months.

I'm happy in my skin now ( even if I'm a size 18 still ) I suppose I'm high maintenance too but it makes me happy to try and look nice.

Getting older is getting very expensive!
ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 06/10/2020 01:35

You look great Wags your filers look very natural, 50 really doesn’t look how it did in my mum’s era!

Wagsandclaws · 06/10/2020 01:49

@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels thank you! It's made a real difference to how I feel about myself and even how I dress.

Bloody insomnia might be a side effect of the menopause that I haven't considered though Hmm

BlueThistles · 06/10/2020 04:27

beautiful 🌺