Getting older is getting very expensive!

[JMAngel1]

Anyone else feel like this?
I’ve always been high maintenance since my teens but in the last year or so, the list of what I need to keep me looking well presented and feeling “normal” seems to be getting longer.

This morning I’ve just placed orders for what I now consider essentials - plumping serum, vaginal moisturiser, hair dye, neck and chest cream, hair styling cream, 4 different supplements and progesterone cream. I’m 48 and my budget seems to be going more and more on these types of products and there is less and less for clothes and pretty things like make up.

At this age I thought I would be shopping at Jaegar and John Lewis and buying Bobbi Brown or Charlotte Tilbury. Instead I have to buy from eBay and Primark and most of my makeup is MUA or NYX.
Anyone else feel like this?

@charlottescomlicatedweb I've tried the "training" and found it doesn't work.

I take Regurin for the OAB - it helps - particularly at night - but I'd rather be treated if possible. I've had it for 19 years.

@JMAngel1 You are wasting your money on progesterone cream. It is a total and utter scam. It's been around for decades and does no good. It was supposed to help by being absorbed through the skin but in fact the type in that cream cannot be absorbed. Believe me- I've been a health writer and also talked to menopause experts (drs) about it.) If progesterone could be absorbed via the skin it would be used as part of HRT and it's not .

It certainly cannot improve libido and quite the opposite! It's the hormone produced after ovulation each month and the one responsible for PMS and acne- certainly not a good thing.

You need oestrogen and testosterone (the latter only available privately ) for libido.

BTW you need to insist you need a drs appt.
You do not have to say it's for HRT.
You can say it's for personal women's issues ( like a dry vagina) and they have no right to block you out like this.

I'm only on The Ordinary for now, starting lower budget then going up to try a variety of products, I'm 47.

However.... I received a sample for 111 Skin Black Diamond emulsion cream and used it once with make up applied as usual. I don't believe any cream can work miracles but this one was instant for me and I received a couple of comments to say how well I looked that day. I almost fainted when I saw the £600 price tag!

So that's changed my lifetime view on products being a waste of money but still starting at the lower end.

Also The Ordinary Azaelic Acid has improved and smoothed my skin amazingly in a few weeks in case anybody else is interested, it's brilliant and also very cheap!

@JinglingHellsBells

That's strange as the progesterone cream I'm using has definitely imoroved my libido and also vaginal wetness (sorry TMI!). I had to reduce the frequency because I was too wet (but also was a bit concerned about finger pain which may have been coincidental, I don't know)
This is the one I use, lots of positive reviews about menopause. It must be doing something? I definitely have noticed a difference using it.

www.amazon.com/Progesterone-Bioidentical-Bio-Identical-Progesterone-Paraben-Free/dp/B00EB0AQA4?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

You're right about the GP - it's crazy, the receptionists are militant. I just rang again and said I was concerned about lower abdominal pain and I managed to get an appointment for 2 weeks - just hope I don't get told off by the GP for lying to the receptionist but frankly I don't care

Nope it really can't do anything.

For a start it cannot be absorbed through the skin in very large amounts. The dose- it says- is 21mgs each application.

As part of HRT we use 200mgs (so that 10 times more) either vaginally or orally. It makes no difference at all to my wetness or libido. It is in fact a hormone that causes sedation at the dose in HRT.

I now feel I'm doing something wrong. I'm 54 and buy facial moisturiser from Lidl and Vaseline body lotion. Pantene shampoo and conditioner and once I week I use purple shampoo and conditioner because I've let my hair go grey. I drink coffee for energy... I am spending a fortune on laser hair removal this year though - got tired of pubic maintenance (TMI?).

got tired of pubic maintenance (TMI?).

Some people might say "why bother?"

O god yes .. this month I've had a Dermaroller , Dermaplaning a chemical peel

I get my dermaroller from Amazon -around £15 and do it 1x weekly - cheaper option?
I also have a defuzzer blade thing that mimics dermaplaning - 1 x weekly too.
Chemical peel - I just do TO gly 30%/sal 2% x weekly too.

Did you get good results with your peel Happyd? Which one did you have?

@ageingdisgracefully

Does anyone suffer with Overactive Bladder as a side effect of Vaginal Atrophy?

I've had it since DD was born (I was 42) and I'm.only just finding out that it can go alongside Vaginal.Atrophy.

And we are supposed to look forward to menopause?

(I know these things are not the consequence of menopause for you, but they can be ).

And we are supposed to look forward to menopause?

You’ve misunderstood. The menopause isn’t something to be looked forward to, it’s a pain. It’s bloody brilliant when it’s over.

Ginfordinner because I love the result.

So is it a general rule that once the menopause is over (defined by 12 months since last period?), all the menopause symptoms go away?

In my case yes. I can't speak for others though.

I think hot flushes and anxiety go. Vaginal atrophy I'm not sure about

So is it a general rule that once the menopause is over (defined by 12 months since last period?), all the menopause symptoms go away?

Good grief, no! far from it!

I didn't start HRT till almost 53 when my periods stopped and flushes began.

My mum still had hot flushes in her 80s and was using vaginal estrogen then too (for urinary and VA issues.)

My consultant and others say they have women in their 80s and 90s on HRT who refuse to give it up as the symptoms come back.

It varies. Some women get off very lightly with not a lot of the stuff like flushes and night sweats ( 25% of women) but for many women they carry on for 15, 20 or more years.

There are long term effects of menopause- usually bladder issues, bone loss, arthritis, heart disease (estrogen protects), prolapse, and dementia. HRT is known to help all of these.

The symptoms of menopause don't always go away. My mother suffered hot flushes for the rest of her life (admittedly less pronounced than when she was in the midst of full-on menopause).

Osteoporosis caused by oestrogen deficiency is progressive - so if you have a diagnosis of this, or a family tendency towards it, extended use of HRT may be a good idea.

There are some women who come through the other side of the menopause and just feel completely liberated.

Others continue to suffer debilitating effects.

The trick is to work out which group you're in, and if you are continuing to suffer, remember that there's usually something that can be done about it. (Even if hormones are a health risk for you, if you continue to suffer hot flushes, there are other meds which may help, for instance).

One menopausal after-effect I really like is the general tendency to be less of a people-pleaser and the general all-round failure to give a fuck any more! Most liberating.

@Ginfordinner

In my case yes. I can't speak for others though.

It was for the same for me. Obviously it’s not the same for everyone.

Obviously you need to weigh up the pros and cons of HRT.

I am on it because the peri menopause was giving me sleepless nights. I feel much better now. It's helped with the hot flushes too.

@WeWantTheFinestWines
No you are not doing anything wrong. I have almost the same routine as you, but I don't do any pubic maintenance. I use Nivea face cream and Nivea eye cream. The face cream does my neck too. I wash my face with warm water only. No hair dye, purple shampoo. I wear minimal make up for work and wondering if I can wear none soon. I like being low maintenance. I am in my fifties.

@WeWantTheFinestWines - I agree you are not doing anything wrong! My routine is much the same as @FazeleysRoyale, except I haven't worn make-up for decades and I don't use eye cream. I'm over 60 and like being low maintenance, which was a decision I made before I reached 20.

@ageingdisgracefully... I think, if I remember correctly, that I have to try this training BEFORE they’ll give me medication. That’s fine but. Think I’ve been forgotten. I phoned the clinic and explained what’d happened and still haven’t had any info from them. That was early September 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wondering... is there anything over the counter I can buy, to calm my bladder down? I just feel all the time, like I need a wee and when I go it’s hardly anything. Then, I want to go again. This morning, I’m knackered. Up 5 times last night. Had a glass of 🍷 around 9pm which is rare so, maybe that’s why?

I take HRT (60s) because I still have a cycle with occasional breakthrough spotting, regular cramps, mood swings. I have a Mirena for progesterone, which is OK though I’m somewhat progesterone intolerant ( the pills made me really ill).
AFAIK the notion of oestrogen dominance is nonsense.