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Original poster

Getting older is getting very expensive!

311 replies

JMAngel1 · 03/10/2020 07:10

Anyone else feel like this?
I’ve always been high maintenance since my teens but in the last year or so, the list of what I need to keep me looking well presented and feeling “normal” seems to be getting longer.

This morning I’ve just placed orders for what I now consider essentials - plumping serum, vaginal moisturiser, hair dye, neck and chest cream, hair styling cream, 4 different supplements and progesterone cream. I’m 48 and my budget seems to be going more and more on these types of products and there is less and less for clothes and pretty things like make up.

At this age I thought I would be shopping at Jaegar and John Lewis and buying Bobbi Brown or Charlotte Tilbury. Instead I have to buy from eBay and Primark and most of my makeup is MUA or NYX.
Anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
KnightsofColumbusThatHurt · 03/10/2020 19:09

Doesn't HRT raise your risk of breast cancer? I don't think I will be able to have it when my time comes as I have already had breast cancer, and I'm already worrying about going through a 'raw' menopause! I had a bit of a taster when I was going through chemo, although I am back to normal now, and it wasn't great (two words: Sahara Desert Grin)

KnightsofColumbusThatHurt · 03/10/2020 19:13

Choose your SPF really carefully. The FDA recently updated their guidelines on some of the common ingredients found in sunscreens. There are a list of the ingredients they found to be unsafe and also some they are concerned about.

Oh what? FFS, I have just started using SPF every day in the last few months and have felt really virtuous. It was because I saw that picture of that trucker who had one side of his face exposed to the sun when he was driving! I use bog standard Boots Soltan so I don't know if that's good or not?

justanotherneighinparadise · 03/10/2020 19:24

Ideally keep it as simple as possible. Zinc oxide and one other ingredient.

trumpisaflump · 03/10/2020 19:30

@KnightsofColumbusThatHurt this explains the breast cancer risk a bit but there's loads of info out there. I think if you've already had breast cancer you would need specialist advice but I'm sure you could use certain types of HRT

mpoweredwomen.net/medical/your-hrt-fact-sheet/

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 03/10/2020 19:32

Er. no. I was low maintenance in my younger years and am virtually no maintenance now (in my 50s).

I just haven't got the interest in that kind of stuff Blush

daysofpearlyspencer · 03/10/2020 19:36

@borntobequiet can I ask where you shop for clothes I am in the same age range and really struggling to know where to shop. Marks and Spencer not really for me now.

ageingdisgracefully · 03/10/2020 19:45

I like Zara, French Connection, maybe the odd All Saints piece.

For jeans, I tend to go for ones I like rather than any particular shop. So nothing special. I treated myself to a pair of Levi 501s but I can't get into them yetBlush.

I like coats - I have a Levi's cotton one I really like - the others have come from Asos (Monki).

For work, I wear vests, dark skinnies, blazers and brogues; everything I wear is on that theme, come to think about it.

I had visions of myself wafting about in White Company and Cocoon Dresses but that hasn't happened. Yet. (It's the "look" around my neighbourhood).

borntobequiet · 03/10/2020 20:34

@daysofpearlyspencer literally anywhere...the only places I avoid are those where I know the cut doesn’t fit my shape. I avoid Jaeger and Hobbs for that reason. I’ve got things from expensive boutiques, Sainsbury’s, M&S (occasionally), H&M, Next, AllSaints, wherever. I try on and if the item is a good colour, fabric and fit (and preferably reduced), I buy. Otherwise not!

VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2020 20:39

I’m still suffering with brain fog, zero libido though and thinning hair and I need to get testosterone so I either need an appointment with a menopause specialist or go private as my GP already told me she doesn’t prescribe it

I thought testosterone was the reason for hair thinning? Isn't it?

I'm 52 and I do use more skincare than I used to. I hate my thinning hair, have tried all sorts but nothing helps.

I do spend quite a bit, but I don't get my nails done (paint them myself, often commented on by people), get my hair done only twice a year, don't smoke, don't really drink much, never go on big nights out, etc. So I think it balances out.

Original poster
JMAngel1 · 03/10/2020 20:51

@TableNiner. Your post has really resonated with me.

OP posts:
LunaNorth · 03/10/2020 21:10

@TableNiner

I’d like to stand up and applaud that post. Bang on the money.

It takes a certain sort of confidence to be ‘low maintenance’ - confidence I’ve never had.

nzeire · 03/10/2020 21:13

Tableniner nailed it

VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2020 21:14

[quote LunaNorth]@TableNiner

I’d like to stand up and applaud that post. Bang on the money.

It takes a certain sort of confidence to be ‘low maintenance’ - confidence I’ve never had.[/quote]
Agreed.

People coming to these threads saying they just use soap and water simply don't get it. They didn't spend their childhood being teased for being ugly and spend most of their adulthood trying to figure out how not to be ugly.

Original poster
JMAngel1 · 03/10/2020 21:18

@VanGoghsDog

THIS just this

OP posts:
Abraid2 · 03/10/2020 21:34

@something2say

Really?? Thank you for that. I will do some reading yes. I tend to think nature is best, for example I came off the pill at 26 after reading Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, and really enjoyed the rise and fall of my hormones, being fertile etc. I thought menopause was just the next step and best to roll with it. I guess my main resistance to the idea is that I am denying what is normal for the sake of a patriarchal idea that I must remain young to be of value.
What’s patriarchal about not wanting osteoporosis? About wanting to stop brain fog, low mood and insomnia? Also reducing the risk of heart disease and probably dementia?
Pikachubaby · 03/10/2020 21:35

There is a bit of smugness in the no-effort-just-water-and-soap camp

I mean, ok, I try and be like that but at 48 I have moments where I look at my neck and think “wtf?! When did that happen?!”

Thing is OP, a lot of “miracle” or hype products for skin contain simple silicones (dimethicone, makes skin feels smooth but you wash/rub it off easily, does not do anything really) and glycerine (draws moisture to the skin do it feels less dry). Any cream containing these 2 cheap ingredients will make your skin look better (until you wash it off again, then re-apply), hyaluronic acid is similar. Idea too. They all “work” but can be found in things like nivea too

Anyway, I try and be low key but have moments of weakness where I buy beauty junk

But am getting better at resisting Grin

Not looking forward to menopause, and the dreaded dryness, May get very into skincare then Grin

Pikachubaby · 03/10/2020 21:39

@something2say that sounds like a nice book and a nice idea, but really, the “natural” state for women is not be watching their hormones rise and fall, menstruating monthly...

The “natural state” for fertile women is to be either pregnant or breastfeeding, on and on, until menopause

I am happy with a bit of artificial birth control Grin

AnnaMagnani · 03/10/2020 21:41

I'm 45 and get told I look younger. I stopped dyeing my hair a few years ago - it's mostly grey now.

It's not a 'special sort of confidence' to be low maintenance - it's not having been brought up around makeup, hairstyling, fashion as the norm. And a high level of really can't be arsedness. And yes I did spend my childhood getting teased for being ugly and being the weird one. However whatever I did, I was still teased and weird even when I tried so I just gave up, opted out of that game and got my extra 20 minutes in bed.

Even if you were to tell me your routine only took you 10 minutes, I'd seriously see that as another 10 minutes I could have in bed.

I am fussy about my hair products, my soap etc but that's it.

And if I need HRT for my menopause I'll have the real thing, thanks. No mucking about.

CharlottesComplicatedWeb · 03/10/2020 22:06

I swear by decent, natural highlights every 8-10 weeks, Nivea Q10 60+ Cream, an application of self tan once a week and my Rio 60 Second Face Lift. Six weeks in and I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my skin.

No need to spend a fortune, OP.

eaglejulesk · 03/10/2020 22:08

People coming to these threads saying they just use soap and water simply don't get it. They didn't spend their childhood being teased for being ugly and spend most of their adulthood trying to figure out how not to be ugly.

Utter rubbish! I've never been attractive, but really I don't care if I'm ugly. I did say I have always looked 10 years younger than I am, that certainly doesn't equate to being beautiful - far from it! I just think all these expensive products are aimed to make women think they must try to obtain some sort of beauty and youth which is silly. Be happy in your skin, if you are ageing why try to hide it? Be confident, and don't feel you have to be something other than what you are. Also, I don't actually believe that expensive products are going to do much that cheaper ones don't.

VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2020 22:33

It's not a 'special sort of confidence' to be low maintenance - it's not having been brought up around makeup, hairstyling, fashion as the norm.

That's not true for me, my mother doesn't even know what skin care and make up is, she's never used any of it, she's never dyed her hair and when I was a kid she used to cut her own hair (and ours), I wasn't brought up around it at all. My nan wore nail varnish, I remember that but that's all.

Be happy in your skin, if you are ageing why try to hide it?

What makes you think that just telling someone to "be happy" will work? It doesn't. And it's patronising.

I'm glad you're full of confidence despite being ugly. I am actually objectively attractive and also get told I look ten years younger (doesn't practically everyone?) but it doesn't mean I have confidence. I don't. I feel ugly because I was told by my parents that I was ugly and it's hard to get over that (and yes, plenty of counselling).

I don't actually believe that expensive products are going to do much that cheaper ones don't.

You don't need to believe it, so that's OK. And I'm not sure this thread is specifically about expensive products anyway. I personally don't use any expensive products. Just lots of products.

BlueThistles · 03/10/2020 22:45

Love this thread 💕

TheSeedsOfADream · 03/10/2020 23:01

@eaglejulesk

People coming to these threads saying they just use soap and water simply don't get it. They didn't spend their childhood being teased for being ugly and spend most of their adulthood trying to figure out how not to be ugly.

Utter rubbish! I've never been attractive, but really I don't care if I'm ugly. I did say I have always looked 10 years younger than I am, that certainly doesn't equate to being beautiful - far from it! I just think all these expensive products are aimed to make women think they must try to obtain some sort of beauty and youth which is silly. Be happy in your skin, if you are ageing why try to hide it? Be confident, and don't feel you have to be something other than what you are. Also, I don't actually believe that expensive products are going to do much that cheaper ones don't.

Well, at 17 I was told my nickname at school was Bob. And that it stood for Back end of a Bus. So, no, you telling me to be happy and get on with it wouldn't have worked. Interestingly though now, at 54 and looking a damn sight better now than I did then, I meet those same people when I go back to my hometown. And my immediate thought is "lordy, they not sell moisturiser round here then".
eaglejulesk · 04/10/2020 01:58

Well, at 17 I was told my nickname at school was Bob. And that it stood for Back end of a Bus. So, no, you telling me to be happy and get on with it wouldn't have worked.

That is very cruel, I'm sorry you went to school with such awful people, but that really isn't the point is it? Surely you don't think that if you had spent a fortune on skin products it would have transformed your looks? The OP's original post was about the expense of getting older, nothing to do with being a teenager. Many teenagers get a rough time, I had bad acne myself, but that has nothing to do with how little I spend on products now. My 'be happy in your skin' was aimed at older women, which is what this thread is supposed to be about!

stevalnamechanger · 04/10/2020 02:08

Follow Dr Natalia Spierlings ( consultant Derm )

Plumping serum / neck and chest cream won't do anything so save your money