Best cut for clown hair and a fat face?

[RonaldMcDonaldio]

I currently have just past shoulder length hair - looks nice and it's great for tying up out of the way, so low maintenance from a day to day perspective. But owing to how thick and pouffy it is, it's high maintenance from a washing and conditioning point of view - it's quite coarse and strong, curly, with a very rough cuticle, so it's wild and frizzy and has to be beaten into submission with product and heat after washing to look presentable. This takes some time, and I have quite a lot of breakage which is understandable.

We are about to embark on a life changing move, which will involve living in a campervan for a while. The hot water tank just doesn't hold enough water for me to wash and condition my clown wig, so I am thinking of cutting it all off.

Here are 3 pictures. The first is as it is now, washed and rough dried by a hairdresser - the second is washed and left to air dry with product on it, before someone recommends the curly girl method. Honestly, don't, I tried it and looked like worzel gummidge for months until I gave up.

The last is a shorter cut I had about 10 years ago, which I really liked. It will take a bit of faffing about every morning but nothing too serious, and at least washing and drying it won't take a pint of conditioner and product and an hour of sweating.

For context, I am 47, a little bit fat with a chubby chin, but I have good skin, light green eyes to go with my dark hair, few wrinkles and colour all my greys.

What d'you reckon, yay ou nay?

Your hair is beautiful @QueenCT! However, on my face, it honestly would not look nice. If I lived in a world where there were no hair dryers, I would honestly wear my hair up every day...maybe that's why they did that in Georgian times hmmm ?

Another comment re curls - if your top "canapy" of curls is a bit rubbish (less curly/dry/frizzy) this is because it needs extra moisture - it is exposed to the elements more (being on top) and most people rinse this part of their head most in the shower - which strips out all the conditioner.

Try

1. Rinsing upside down. This will protect your canopy a bit. And/or
2. leaving in a tiny bit of your conditioner just on the canopy. After rinsing take a 5p size blob, rub it in your hands to spread it out and just skim it over the top of your soaking wet hair.

Wow Queen, your curls are amazing!

That's a good point Agapantson - this is probably the same reason that the short annoying piece of hair I have at the uppermost point of the cowlick WILL NOT GROW, its extra dry and squeaky and is probably just breaking off. I tend to add a tiny blob of conditioner again to the top layer after my last rinse (the canopy, I like that), but although it makes it feel a lot nicer, it doesn't really change the look! There are loads of products that make it feel lovely and silky smooth, but when air dry it looks exactly the same as before.

It's a self-defeating circle really. The top is dry and frizzy so you use heat and product to tame it, etc etc. With the CG method I clipped it up at the front for months and didn't touch it with heat. Made no difference though.

Well, I'm not posting a picture. I've got the serious arse.

I washed it and carefully applied all the overpriced salon products they sold me as directed - acidic shampoo to keep the cuticle closed, 3 mins smoothing hair mask, normal conditioner, leave-in moisture repair product, thermal blow dry spray. Even still damp it felt horribly lank and sticky, and all the curl was dropping out where its all one length.

I had a work video call so couldn't risk leaving it to air dry like stig of the dump - quickly blow dried it and it felt dreadful, knotty and matted. Desperately put some of my old detangler in it, plus more heat protection, and it looked about 3 foot wide. Finally managed to beat it down smooth with heat, but I feel irritable and frustrated because I've essentially spent £146 and apart from being a bit shorter and easier to do at the back, and having a fresh colour in it, I'm otherwise back where I started with one length nondescript hair.

I'm stamping my foot and pouting, can you tell.

Take a pic and call the salon. I would.

Oh no op! That's such a shame! I bet if you go back to the salon, they will correct it for you? I have had a shit haircut once before and they were really good about fixing it.

I'm so invested in this thread. OP, I love you, you sound great.

I get exhausted just reading all the effort you have to put in with your hair, that's a nightmare.

I honestly was dubious about the undercut option but having had it done, you need to go back to the salon. There has to be something they can do.

You can't have spent all that money to be miserable. And there has to be options, more than hours trying to manage it, that's just soul-sapping.

Don't give up! I still stand by my point that your hair wants to be curly, your 2nd original photo was great, honestly the other 'straight' photos just look like your hair is being battered into submission & hair doesn't look healthy.

Good luck. 💐

@QueenCT your hair is gorgeous!

No. 2 is lovely, your husband is an idiot.

I have similar hair to you. I also did the curly girl method for about 7 months and it looked awful especially going to work with it wet and gel making it stick to my head! Horrendous!
I know shampoo and condition then use argan oil and let it dry naturally. Seems ok and sometimes looks quite nice!

Awww @EarringsandLipstick that's a kind thing to say. Yeah it is a bit exhausting but I don't know why I expected miracles from a fresh cut - nothing has ever worked before, why would it change now!

I could go back to the original salon, but I went and had the undercut with a more local salon nearby so I imagine the "specialist" will say I ruined it myself somehow. I can't be dealing with the dramas, better to just go on hol with it next week, and try again locally when I get back. The last time I went back to a senior stylist and asked if she could take some of the weight out of the ends, she was bad tempered about it and hacked at the lengths with thinning scissors. Again I had to go on holiday with it looking like a birds nest and have it fixed by someone else when I got back.

I'd actually rather go to the dentist than get my haircut.

@Roblakeswife (I've recently just watched all of those again, I wondered why the name rang a bell - now you're going to say no, I really AM Rob Lake's wife) it does sometimes work better just being kept simple doesn't it - minimal product and fuss. It's just that the "canopy" is so wildly different to the rest of it that I've lost faith in anything having the ability to tame it!

Moroccon oil was good - but the olive oil products are even better. I moved away from oils for a while and did find one gamechanger, although admittedly it needs heat to activate so its not great for the hair - but it does make it uber swishy. It's the Colour Wow Dreamcoat - £24 a bottle, needs heat and is all silicone so it does build up. Every now and then you have to clear it all off with a clarifying shampoo and start over, but it is good.

Almost as good, cheaper and with far less build up between washes is the Mane & Tail Detangler (purportedly for dogs and horses but it isn't really).

Both of these are lethal if any gets onto a smooth surface - turns everything into an ice rink! It even makes carpet slippy...

@RonaldMcDonaldio What happened/went wrong when you tried curly girl? I know you said not to suggest it - but I agree with PP - I actually like the waves - and maybe you could go a bit in-between - not embracing the full curls but working with the waves a bit?

i like both the curly au natrel & the shorter cut/styled...the curly one looks like mine when i diffuse i & i love it like that!.i wear a big wide hairband with it. but probs the shorter one-easier to care for and you can keep cutting it yourself then. I have also lived on the road long term as a backpacker and i cut off my hair when it became too much (it was stupidly long). Enjoy your experience : )

Well, I went through all the usual processes and products, but over 6 months there was no real change in its appearance - the curl pattern is inconsistent and the frizz is extremely strong, so whatever I tried - including achieving a decent cast with the stronger gels - the fuzz just broke through. I'd be left with awkward sticky-out "crinkly" frizzy hair on the top and lovely corkscrew curls underneath. 6 months I walked around like that, waiting for a change! An awful lot of product seemed to be the only way I could get it looking semi-decent, but I had a constant battle with frizz and the top part never played ball. I even cheated and straightened a little bit from the roots at the front, to try and get it to bend the right way. Even tried clipping back the top, but once exposed, the layer underneath the canopy would then go frizzy, and so on.

Believe me, I am very dedicated once I set my mind to something and I was so excited to try it - I joined the FB group, watched millions of tutorials and I reckon I spent £200 on different products over that period. I think some might still be in the loft. I was so disappointed that I didn't come out with fab curls - that stylist said it doesn't work for everyone because it just depends what type of hair you have.

I'd love to work with the waves, it's just the massive pouffiness that comes with them. Maybe there's a halfway method to reduce the volume!

Almost as good, cheaper and with far less build up between washes is the Mane & Tail Detangler (purportedly for dogs and horses but it isn't really).

😳😳😳

You have to explain this @RonaldMcDonaldio 😀

Is it really something for dogs & horses?

Haha no not really - I think it's a marketing ploy, it's in the "beauty" category and talks about being suitable for all hair types, but the image on the bottle is of a horse. Amazon link here;

[https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000TG84B2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_KdNlFbG6PWB7W]

Where are you going in your camper van? My hair is similar and I have a similar cut to you at the moment.

We spent 5 months in southern Europe last summer and my hair was great. It air dried in no time in the heat despite taking 30 mons with a hair drier here.

The most I did was straighten the front bangle bits, and the rest I left a little curly (but with it framed around my face it looked fine) or left it scrunched in a bin with the front bits again straightened.

I definitely wouldn't have it cut to the point you can't just tie it up, when it gets hot you want it all up, and when it becomes unmanageable, you want to be able to hide it....

Sorry just got to the end of the thread and realised I was a bit out of date with my advice!

Ha that's alright Muddled, thanks anyway! We're just away for the week, we usually do a bit of a tour - this year its the Peak District, Yorkshire Dales, North Yorkshire Moors then we'll come back down along the Norfolk coast. We rarely stay anywhere more than a night!

I let me Barnet air dry yesterday morning before we set off at lunchtime - the shape of the cut is fine, but the curls are irregular, undefined and frizzy. I've just tied it in a small ponytail, and avoid looking in the mirror 😂

We're on the road now and forgot to pack the hook up cable, so we've no mains power. Washed it, left a tiny bit of conditioner in, worked through a big blob of curl creme whilst damp ("for frizz free, soft, defined curls" - righto), and this is what I'm left with if I clip the top section back.

Just about passable in public, but it's crispy and not great.

I've been lurking on this thread and I am also quite invested. I can absolutely relate to every single one of your posts. My hair is Curly and frizzy but also ginger . People say it's nice but I've never felt sleek/ tidy/ presentable my whole life. It starts one way in the morning and by 2pm it's branching out beyond my shoulders trying to swallow the world.

Your story from the curly specialist made me sad I've always had a fantasy if I stumped up the cash a specialist hair dresser would perform a miracle!

It always feels like the next product will be "the one" and it never is. I've just given up now and I use cheap shampoo and conditioner and boots curl cream no amazing curls here but at least it's cheap!

Sounds like hair frustration aside you have a lovely life though op. Sounds like an ace trip away xx

I like the 3rd pic but would maybe go slightly longer.
My hair is similar to yours, am embracing my curls after years of straightening. Just cba!
Give your hair a break and chance to recover.