Best cut for clown hair and a fat face?

[RonaldMcDonaldio]

I currently have just past shoulder length hair - looks nice and it's great for tying up out of the way, so low maintenance from a day to day perspective. But owing to how thick and pouffy it is, it's high maintenance from a washing and conditioning point of view - it's quite coarse and strong, curly, with a very rough cuticle, so it's wild and frizzy and has to be beaten into submission with product and heat after washing to look presentable. This takes some time, and I have quite a lot of breakage which is understandable.

We are about to embark on a life changing move, which will involve living in a campervan for a while. The hot water tank just doesn't hold enough water for me to wash and condition my clown wig, so I am thinking of cutting it all off.

Here are 3 pictures. The first is as it is now, washed and rough dried by a hairdresser - the second is washed and left to air dry with product on it, before someone recommends the curly girl method. Honestly, don't, I tried it and looked like worzel gummidge for months until I gave up.

The last is a shorter cut I had about 10 years ago, which I really liked. It will take a bit of faffing about every morning but nothing too serious, and at least washing and drying it won't take a pint of conditioner and product and an hour of sweating.

For context, I am 47, a little bit fat with a chubby chin, but I have good skin, light green eyes to go with my dark hair, few wrinkles and colour all my greys.

What d'you reckon, yay ou nay?

I'm glad to hear that there are others with similar hair to mine! Yes, I allowed myself to be lead because I was seeking her professional opinion after all, I don't know what to do with my fright wig do I.

The low pH/acidic shampoo is Joico K-Pak Color Therapy shampoo.

I have taken a picture but it's a bit wild today - I put a little water in it first thing to make it more wavy then walked the dog - by the time I returned hot and sweaty it was just a huge mess again. I tamed it for my work calls with some product, but I really need to wash it and start again. I'll run through it with a smoothing brush and do a before and after!

Rough and smooth (difficult to capture the angled part but it's there). I'm a bit disappointed really, its not the dramatic change I really wanted but maybe she thought it would be too much?

Honestly your curls are nicer, and look better with the texture of your hair.
I also have that thing where the hair is curlier underneath, even though my hair is fine. It was going fluffy and straighter on top, (ah the joys of middle age) and that is where the Everything Cream seems to have made a difference .

Thanks SirVix, but at the risk of sounding ungrateful I must've tried ££££££'s worth of products over the years. There has been absolutely nothing. No gamechangers, no miracle finds. It looks shit because it is shit and the curl pattern just isn't very nice.

I mean, if a curly hair specialist of 30 years standing thinks it looks bad curly what hope have I got! I tried embracing the curl, it didn't work, so now I'm embracing the faff of keeping it smooth and looking boring.

These are some of the pictures I showed her.

What about an undercut, then you only need to worry about the top part. That's the only thing that worked for my Crystal Tipps hair!

I'm honestly can't understand the problem with the curly hair picture - the original picture 2 looks phenomenal, much better than all the other pictures!

I have similar hair to you, but the curls are more inconsistent. I wash it as normal, then put conditioner on the bottom half but don't rinse it out. I dry it with a t shirt, just squeezing out the water - no rough drying as that frizzes it up. Then I let it air dry.

For the days I don't want to do anything with it it looks fine like that.

Interesting idea Seafrett. Is it difficult to maintain?

I dunno Lampshadery, it just doesn't look nice to me - nothing keeps the frizz at bay, plus my DH hates it and say it ages me.

@RonaldMcDonaldio hmm that's a shame! I really do think it looks great on you.

Your new hair is a great length though, very flattering.

@RonaldMcDonaldio no, it's fab, especially if you can get DP to keep clipping it!

Here's mine, straightened to within an inch of its life but you get the gist. Takes so much of the weight away and makes it much easier to do, either curly or straight.

Thanks Lampshadery!

Ooh, Seafrett. This is looking/sounding like a good idea. Especially as I have the double whammy of it being a little unusual when I put it up - and it will be much cooler!

Does it stand away from your head when it's down though - like you're wearing a wig over short hair?! Need to see it down

Nope not at all. Admittedly this was straight back from the hairdressers, but even when curly it's still much flatter than with the hair underneath.

I've been googling, OMG why didn't I know about undercut bobs before?? This is a revelation.

I wouldn't have the sides shaved, just that back bit...

Are there any downsides?

Only having to have it reshaved under about every 3-4 weeks, unless DP can do it.

I love mine, it's so much cooler, easier to do, and nicely different if you wear it up. If you wear it down no one even knows you've had it done.

Go for it, you'll be a convert!

Woo hoo!

Sorry OP, I didn’t mean to unhelpfully suggest yet another product, just I also had a cupboard full of unusable stuff and assumed that my hair simply wouldn’t tolerate any kind of product and would remain a total mess, so finding something that did help was a surprise.

@RonaldMcDonaldio I noticed the Faith In Nature conditioner was being sold cheap in Tesco today, it looked like it was being discontinued, incase you need to stock up. It maybe that only Tesco isn't going to stock it.

Oh SirVix don't apologise, I'm grateful for all suggestions - I'm just being a grumpy bastard. I've actually had a look for some, it's only a tenner but not in stock again until 31st August. I'll probably try it, I always do!

Oh crap thanks CoCo - noooo I love that stuff. I've been able to get it from Amazon in the past...TK Maxx is the place to go for salon size bottles though.

Anyway, I did it @seafrett - called the local salon, who said I could head on down for an undercut, and I've gone and got myself a triangular one - just a number 3 at the nape for now, too nervous to touch the sides! Stylist warned me they are a bastard to grow out, but I told her to do it anyway. I am loving the breeze around my head already when it's in a ponytail, its going to be so much nicer in the heat - looking forward to not having damp sweaty hair and an itchy scalp all summer! I have TONS of hair. And DH doesn't mind running the clippers over it for me, I've done his hair 3 times since lockdown so he owes me.

Will wash it and style it (curly if it's not too frizzy) in the morning, will be back to show the result.

Thats amazing! You won't regret it. I bet you go shorter next time too!

I think we definitely need a picture...!

If you do get it, I work a small amount, about a pea size, into wet hair that has been briefly towel squeezed, then I leave it dry naturally. Your hair is much thicker than mine so you might need a tiny bit more. I just scrunch my curls a little bit once it is on, literally three seconds.

would the brazilian keratin blow drying thingy work on your hair? the second and third photos look lovely, i think you need to give up the heat and straighteners or whatever you're doing now. your hair looks so very damaged and will really benefit from a rest.

Thank you for your updated pic! The new do is lovely! Really looks good. Well done.

Pic 2 is best, followed by pic 3. Curls are great.

I think with curls a lot of people think they have rubbish ones but it does take time
Here's a good hair day for me before, and now