Do you “dress your age”?

[Littlepond]

I’ve always been adamant that I will wear what makes me feel good and that the whole “you are too old to wear that” is misogynist bullshit.

However.

I’m in my mid 40s, overweight. I’m going to a garden party in a few weeks for a friends 40th.

I bought a dress from H&M which makes me happy. It’s pink and flowery, short with puff sleeves. I was going to pair it with a pink belt and some ankle boots. It’s not the most flattering style for my shape but I generally don’t care about looking fat, I am who I am. But I’ve suddenly got a pang of concern that I look like I’m trying to dress like a skinny young thing and I just look old fat and ridiculous.

Am I there? Am I suddenly at a “you are too old to wear that” place?

What should a fat 40 something wear to a garden party? I kinda never grew up and still dress like a child 😂

I'm only 26 and already starting to worry occasionally that I shouldn't wear things I did just a few years ago as a student such as short shorts (not hot pants or anything just quite short shorts), crop tops, certain other things like I was looking at pinstriped super skinny jeans and I liked them and was worried im too old to wear them now...?! I'm a 'quirky' dresser - I know that word is annoying but I just mean I don't follow fashion and I've always just worn what I wanted even if it's quite different from what my peers are wearing and even if I know some people won't like my outfit. But already, at my young age, I'm starting to feel a bit nervous about it all. And I don't know whether to just stay thinking 'fuck it, if I like it, I will wear it' and focus on blocking out any worry about other people's view of me or whether I need to come to terms with my age and 'grow up' my wardrobe?!

Haha I won't wear white bottoms either - I once had white skinny jeans as a young teen and yes, you can imagine what happened...never again!! I don't actually wear white full stop though apart from white shirts for formal work occasions as always find it so much effort to keep whites white and with a 2 yr old it would just be covered in stains from her.

No. I dress my dress size.

I'm 40. There are things I won't wear anymore, like the "tops" I wore clubbing in my late teens and early 20s that were literally a scrap of fabric with a couple of strings of elastic round the back to keep it on, or an actual scarf tied around my boobs. Or the vest tops made of fabric not much thicker than a pair of tights, designed to show off whatever neon bra I had on underneath. But apart from stuff like that I rarely rule out anything because it's too young for me. I do however refuse to wear things that are too old for me.

@PAND0RA loved that blog post

I wouldn’t wear the things I wore when out clubbing in my 20s. Other than that I wear whatever I like and whatever suits me. My tastes have naturally changed as I have got older but I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself if something is too young for me. And it maddens me when my very elegant mother in her 70s decides not to wear a lovely outfit on the basis that it is too young for her!

Well to me it’s more important to dress in a way that you enjoy - maybe that’s something that’s super comfortable and suits your lifestyle, maybe it’s something that is fun to wear, or it just allows you to forget about what you’re wearing and focus on what you’re doing. Clothes are there to serve us and not the other way around!

Anyway your outfit sounds fun and like you’d enjoy wearing it and so my vote would be go for it.

I don’t really think about age when I’m choosing clothes (40 now). I thought I was an All Saint at uni, so probably wouldn’t wear my old low slung cargo pants with Calvin Klein band showing and a puffy vest and a wonder bra anymore, but that’s cos I’d look daft.

So I never think of age, but I do think about what suits my shape and the occasion.

I don't know what women my age "should" be wearing. I dress for myself on the whole - to please my eye, and with occasional knowledge that my DH thinks I look nice in something (rare that he voices an opinion).

But most definitely it has to satisfy me and what I currently feel like. A recent S&B thread focused on a Cos dress, I liked it and thought the OP looked great in it. There were lots of opposite opinions, obviously everyone has their own idea of what looks good.

My idea of what looks good on me does not involve dressing to "show off" the best of my body - no bodycon dresses or cleavage enhancing tops for example. I'm an ardent fan of sack-like dresses because the fabrics or cuts appeal to my eye.

In fact I sometimes despair that there is such a narrow definition of looking good = looking attractive = dressing sexy = highlighting your breasts/legs/"best assets". Especially as I've grown older (mid 40s now) I have moved away from that mentality and dressing for the male gaze.

And yes, no jeans to a formal event as PP says, but I have no problem with being "dressed up" just to have coffee with a friend. The point isn't to stand out, the aim is to feel good through what I wear and how that pleases me.

I think it’s all about wearing what you genuinely love. If you actually do want to deny who you are and are trying to dress “like a younger person”, that’s Probably how it will look (though i’d still defend your right to wear what you like). But if you just wear clothes because they’re “you” and you want to, you’ll feel happy and confident and look great.

I’m 50-something and try to just wear what grabs me and gives me that “this is my own style” feeling regardless of age. I wouldn’t have my midriff or thighs out but then I didn’t when I was young either - But I do wear graphic t-shirts, trainers, maxi dresses, hoodies, etc as well as more glam dresses and tailored things on other days. I’ve learned what suits my body over the years but I wouldn’t reject anything just because it’s not for my age IYSWIM.

When I was young I felt like over-40s mostly wore boring, prescribed ‘older people” clothes - except for a couple of very camp elderly relatives! - and I kind of dreaded being old and finding myself doing that too. But i think it’s changed a lot and no one bats an eyelid if you don’t.

Hmm, no, I have been told that I dress like an old lady.

I'm in my 50s and I don't know what I'm supposed to be eating at my age.I still wear dresses with a hemline just above my knees.I have skinny jeans and wear leggings with tops which cover my bottom.I also wear white jeans and skirts without having to think about it(had hysterectomy a few years ago).I remember being at parents evening when I was in my early 40s and my DD remarked that I was about the "trendiest" mum there. When I asked why, she pointed out other mums of a similar age who were wearing socks with sandals and trousers or jumpers with horses/ kittens on them.I hope DD still feels I'm trendy lol.

Oops should be supposed to be wearing.Grrrr I hate predictive text.Should start proof reading everything

I am in my 50's, size 12ish on the bottom and 16 on top and wear anything I want. My favourite trousers are a pair of orange camo print Maharishi's with dragon embroidery from early 90's!

I have slightly adapted my wardrobe to allow for my menopausal belly but apart from that, it never crosses my mind to think "is it too young for me?" I have never cared what anyone else thinks and I don't intend to start now.

I’m a lot older than you, and a great believer in wearing what makes you happy. I have no idea if I ‘dress my age’. There are clothes that I don’t wear because I don’t like how I look or feel in them. If they require torture underwear or need constant tugging, then they are out. If they are a colour that drains me, then ditto. However, if an item is sleeveless and it’s appropriate to BE sleeveless - ie it’s hot, then I wear the sleeveless. No one is going to die because of my arms.

You enjoy your dress I’m wearing a Liverpool shirt and jeans and I’m 53.

I dress to my own style and shape, not my age

I suspect I dress "young" for my age (early 40s) - all the women my age dress more modestly than I do. I tend to show a lot of flesh - wearing short shorts at the moment, quite often wear very low-cut or cropped tops. I've worked very hard through diet and exercise to get this figure, I like it to be seen. But also, I'm very curvy, so even when I was bigger, I wore very fitted clothes - anything loose just hangs from my boobs and makes me look larger than I am.

I would actually love to rock an androgynous look but it just wouldn't suit my figure.

Probably not. My body has changed as I have aged. I'm a lot slimmer. I have a good figure and I choose clothes that show it off.

I'm not sure to be honest. I'm 46 and went to see family at the weekend.
I wore a denim shirt dress, mid thigh length, black leggings and white converse pumps. Should I wear that at 46? I've no idea!

I have changed the way in dress approaching 40. When I was in my 20s I would wear whatever I liked. Because I knew it would look good on my body.

Now I'm older and a bit heavier the things I like don't necessarily look good on me so I wouldn't feel comfortable. So it's more of a weight thing than an age thing.

I'm not sure if I had an amazing body if I would still wear short dresses and shorts - not sure if that's a weight thing or an age thing ?

I am mid forties too and found myself admiring an outfit a teenager was wearing on one of those Channel 5 daytime thrillers a few weeks ago...a chiffon tunic with skinny jeans and knee high boots. So I bought as close to the outfit as I could find.

Yes, of course. I'm not sure how I'd do anything other really

I'm 53. I dress each morning. And .... .that's it

I mean obviously you should be wearing linen trousers and a blouse with a cropped cardigan and kitten heals? That is the only response. With a light cardigan, and brown eyeliner.

GracieLane I have never thought of myself as dressing old for my age but I own a pair of linen trousers and now I'm worried They're from Warehouse, long, wide legged and brown. Do I need to burn them?