Consider dating at this size or wait to hit my goal (pic)?

[Maria53]

Hi everyone, I used to be a svelte size 10 and had an hourglass figure I was very happy with. I'm now 12/14/16 depending on brand. I'm being investigated for endometriosis and have to lose weight.

After an awful break up I ate my weight in toblerones and McDonalds and now I'm 1 1/2 stones overweight.

I have lost half a stone since lockdown, im eating healthier and exercising more but thought I would have made more progress. I promised myself I would be single for a year before and now it's just past a year I'm quite keen.

Fyi I didnt actually wear this outfit outside my hips are the absolute worst and very stubborn, my stomach has shrunk a bit the hips and bum are hard to shift!! Not sure whether to wait til maybe the end of year before dating again until I make more progress.

Get yourself out there (covid responsibly!)
Don't wait to live your life

Ps I'd be thrilled to look like your before picture

I feel far more self conscious than I used to. I have been exercising at home but I had just started some active hobbies that are now stopped indefinitely and were more social. Typical...

You look absolutely fine, if you want to lose weight for health reasons or just for yourself thats fine but you look great IMO.

I’d be very happy to look like you!

Definitely get yourself out there, those curves need to be seen.

Can’t see anything wrong with how you look?

When I met DP I was a skinny size 10, over the years I've been up to about a 16 and now back to about a 12, he has found me attractive at all times.

Get on out there!!

Are you crazy, you have a great figure of course you should live your life!

Get on it OP!

Thanks MrsVeryTired.

I was told I must lose weight in order to get a laparoscopy in August. It hit my quite hard hearing that but at least it has spurred me on. My closest friends are small compared to me and I think that does make me feel bigger sometimes. I see it in photos.

Personally I'd be tempted to wait. Not because you look awful but because I'd feel like if I was going out dating I'd want to be at my most confident. But that might just be me as I have a tendency to overthink how my stomach, arms etc look even though I'm a size 8 so I imagine that would be amplified if I put on weight.

Are you quite tall as well? I remember when I worked with skinny little colleagues and I used to feel huge beside them (even though I was never especially big).
But a couple of my close friends and colleagues are now tall and "not skinny" not big but womanly rather than girlish and I think they look fab (and I'm now the daintier one). Its funny how the way you feel can change depending on others.

You look lovely, honestly you have nothing to worry about!

I know what you mean justtmee. But lockdown has been lonely and I do miss the companionship! It wouldn't even have to be a full on relationship, just dating at this point.

I agree with you it is important to be confident, because if you're not it shows.

I'm not tall, maybe slightly above average height. Weirdly I have figured out that all my closest female friends are about the same height!

You are beautiful! The only thing you need is a confidence boost! You need to love yourself before anyone else so you realise your worth before jumping into dating- don’t let yourself be defined by a figure on a scale.

Any tips on the confidence boost? I did book myself in for a nice haircut (as you can see I need it)

My confidence has never been the same since my last serious relationship. It really took the wind out of my sails.

You look gorgeous! Go for it, just be prepared for the dreadful state of many of the men out there....

Attractiveness is being happy in your own skin whatever your size I should know been a 12 and up to a 22 I was still me and still got noticed in a nice way - also had some awful comments from women only never men when larger

@Maria53

Any tips on the confidence boost? I did book myself in for a nice haircut (as you can see I need it)

My confidence has never been the same since my last serious relationship. It really took the wind out of my sails.

Know your worth, and at the first sign of bullshit or boundary pushing walk away. Can I suggest, if you can afford, a counsellor, preferably a trauma informed one, who can help guide you through the journey and dating. There are so many sharks out there, having someone who can help you identify the signs early would be my best tip for anyone coming out of an abusive relationship (sadly learned from experience).

You look lovely! I wouldn't wait.

I have also gained weight recently and am now really quite fat. Lockdown lack if activity seems to have really affected me, although, being honest, I have been gaining more or less consistently for years now . It doesn't feel nice at all, but I really don't think you should feel you have to be a certain weight to meet someone. When I was actually quite slim, I thought I was huge. I met my husband when I thought I was fat. I actually wasn't, but the feeling was the same and I still managed to fall in love. I don't think it should be a barrier at all. Maybe if you were so overweight you were becoming ill, that would be a different story.

I definitely find exercise a real confidence boost and mood improver. Maybe up your exercise if you can, but you really do look fab.

I'd look like you!! Lockdown has taken me to a size 20, was a 16 before... am absolutely ashamed

You have a great figure! Get out there!

Get out there! You look great. There are worse places to carry a little extra weight than your hips and bum .

I wouldn’t wait. I’d prefer to know a man will find me attractive at all sizes. When I lost weight in my 20’s, lots of my male friends crawled out of the woodwork and tried it on. Obviously I immediately discounted them because I didn’t want attention to wane if I ever got big again!