How’s do people look fantastic

[CafetiereCoffee]

And make it look effortless?

It’s the Stunning but Didn’t Try Too Hard look IYSWIM

The “ how do I style my hair? I wash it and leave it to dry naturally (tinkly laugh) my top? Oh, this old thing. I never do any exercise, I walk the dog and carry my shopping in and that is it.”

Perfect hair, teeth, skin, figure, clothes.

What is their secret? I want it.

Skin,Teeth,Hair,Weight,Clothes,Money,Time

Ardnassa. You are how I want to be!!

peapea. At the moment I like my face, neck, forearms and ankles. Everything else has gone to seed under lockdown.

Normally I eat clean / paleo and don’t eat after 6pm. 1 hour swimming, 28k dog walking and 3 hours of yoga a week. And still overweight and scruffy.

Not menopausal yet but getting on in years (kids at uni).

So, if I put in a tonne of effort, tone up slim down copy all the grazia fashion looks, will I look good or Try Too Hard?

Ps all that exercise has gone and house full of carbs and wine. I feel awful.

This sounds a bit “woo” but I think finding your natural look/style identity and sticking with it is the most important thing?

But this will be based on your individual features and colouring. And lifestyle/values/time.

Eg someone can look good as slightly heavier hippy earth mother type, or as a rangy red lipstick punk rocker grungy type, or neat clean cut posh type but it’s knowing who you are and what you want first?

Im happy now but when I struggled most with my look was when I was “working against myself”.

I’m a weird mix (mixed race, quite intellectual/middle class but not on a high income. Ok face, slim hourglass figure but don’t have very long legs so they always need lengthening visually ).

When I experimented and tried to work the whole navy blazer and tan loafers look and the whole “floral hippy boho relaxed look” I looked and felt odd.

Also anything too expensive or high maintenance on me never gets used/done. I’m happy keeping my weight low and skin good but not other stuff.

So any look requiring a full face of make up and heels isn’t really appropriate.

Dark discreet strong colours, good figure flattering fit, geometric shapes, no heels. That’s definitely my personal sweet spot.

But I think it’s trial and error till you find “that place” really - what’s right for me won’t be right for someone else.

Agree about finding the right colours and shapes for you. I'm in leggings and a sweatshirt today but they are thick Sweatty Betty leggings I got in the sale, and a sweatshirt in a colour which suits me. Not see through black leggings that have bobbled, not my university graduation hoody which is worn and mishapen.

Hair- use the right products, I then leave it to dry naturally and do a final blast with the airwrap.

Nails are unpainted but filed and the cuticles trimmed.

There's variations on effort, personally I cba with dyeing my hair or fake nails but I do weekly facials at home which other people can't be bothered with.

Necklines and colour near the face are what I concentrate on.

I could try on two tops in identical colours but different necklines, one would look shit and the other lovely.

Currently not working but having an idea in my head as I'm going to bed what I'm going to wear the following day with a possible tweak in the morning. My wardrobe isn't huge but I buy items that can be dressed up or down, I want multi-functional items.

As for bottoms I stick to what suits me and not fashion. So A line skirts, shift dresses and a skinnier or straight fit but they either need to be slouchy on the shoe or cut in more of an ankle grazer.

Once I binned the idea of fashion and concentrated solely on what suits me it's been fairly effortless.

I think the biggest thing is being healthy. If you exercise, eat well, get enough sleep etc you’ll always look a lot better. (Obviously often easier said than done). But if that’s something you can do then that should help. That would help with skin and figure. And look after yourself - moisturise and exfoliate and generally look after your body. You might not have the time or money to have expensive hair cuts and colours but if your health is healthy (as compared to split ends, needs a cut, heat damaged etc) it will generally look pretty good. Same with nails - not everyone has the time/money/inclination to have their nails done but if they’re clean, healthy looking and tidy they’ll always look pretty decent.

With clothes - find colours and styles that suit you and you enjoy. Personally I don’t follow trends at all, but I do enjoy clothes and I am quite fussy - I’ll only buy things that I really like and enjoy wearing, and fit well/suit me. I don’t buy clothes that simply ‘will do’. Putting some effort into only buying things you really like will mean that you don’t have a wardrobe full of stuff that’s just about ok, but you don’t love/don’t feel great in.

So yeah, I think it’s mostly time and effort. Doesn’t necessarily have to be money - you can do a lot of stuff yourself but then this usually requires more time/energy.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking about how you look. I don’t think many would regret enjoying fashion etc on their death bed. Equally one person’s caring is another person’s overdone. Taste is individual too and that’s fine.

Genes

When I get up every morning I think "what will make me feel good". When I go to an office, that means sharp tailoring and luxurious fabrics which emphasise my figure (slim hourglass) without compromising on looking like I mean business

YES to all of this! love it. I am the same. Its not just about clothing to me- its about enhancing my mood. I love fashion and wearing something that looks good and feels good gives me a mental boost that lasts all day.

They are either very luck (which not many people are, or they work very hard on their appearance and lie that they don't. Some people just have a good eye for style. I think good body shape helps. I have a bit of an awkward body shape. Thin, long legs which seem a bit out of proportion to my body now that I'm not as thin as I was at 18. So I try to be stylish, but most of the current trends just look a bit off on me.

I think it's important to look healthy (diet, sleep, exercise) and 'clean', obviously physically clean but also clean hair, clean white teeth, clean nails, clear skin.

Clothing isn't as important as long as it suits the individual and fits very well.

They lie. They do things that they dont bothrt mentioning out loud because its second nature to them and they think what they do is normal when ita actually more grooming and more steps than others do.

They love themselves and give themselves the best of everything they can get.

So they never wait til clothes are a state to replace, they never waot til hair and nails a state.
They are in continuous maintenance.

Throw away all the stuff that's washed out and\or ill fitting or cheap looking.
Then wear your better stuff. Clean hair always 👌

Genes
Effort
Money

I don't think it has anything to do with money ( so long as you can afford decent food and the basics ) and everything to do with how self aware you are in Terms of your physical attributes and how to make them work for you . I've learnt how to handle my dry , sensitive skin to make it look smooth and glowy, I can apply makeup really well so it looks like I'm not wearing any, can dress to suit my shape in clothes that flatter me, follow a hair care routine that transforms my frizz into soft ringlets and prioritise being active by spending lots of time running , weight lifting and Pilates . I prioritise sleep ( not been easy when I've had a non sleeping four year old but have had to nap like crazy ) and stay away from processed food , no alchohol and drink plenty of water. Etc .

I don't think most of us are very observant. I would say we notice a couple of things about a person and no more. So, unless you really enjoy the whole grooming / gym business, then I would suggest picking one or two features - hair/hands/skin/whatever and focusing your energies on them. Mine are always (ok nearly always) wearing clothes I like - which is something I love doing so it's not an effort - and secondly, hair.

I agree with time , effort and money. Upkeep is expensive. No question. It's the effortless look that I really envy. That is my holy grail and I don't think I've nailed it.

In fairness to people that 'lie' about their upkeep, they probably don't realise how much they do because it's so second nature, like brushing your teeth.

The last thing is posture. It really makes a difference, especially as we age.

I do think a lot of it is people not realising how out of the ordinary there grooming regimes are so they’re being entirely truthful when they answer “not much”

I always get really surprised on the princessing threads at some of the lists that people are going to aim to do when it’s things that I (and a lot of my friends) do as second nature - I generally drink a lot of water, I enjoy sheet masks and skincare, I love painting my nails and spending the afternoon in a hairdressers having a cut and colour is my idea of heaven - so I have good skin, nails and hair as standard because I enjoy the process of getting them.

I also enjoy picking clothes out of my wardrobe - I’ll spend time putting together different outfit combinations - the idea of getting up and putting on “what fits and is clean” is a totally oddity - most of the time my entire wardrobe fits and is clean so there has to be more thinking about it than that.

Really what I’m trying to say (and not be a dick about it, so please tell me if I sound like one) is you need time and inclination in order to look like you’ve not spent any time on your appearance.

It's basically money & time. I can afford very good quality skincare and sleep on a goose down pillow with a raw silk pillowcase. This makes a huge difference to how my face looks in the morning. I can also afford high end make up such as Chanel or Bobbi Brown which just gives a far better result than cheap brands.

I have my teeth whitened and regular pedicure and waxing appointments.

It is easier to look that way if you are thin, tbh. I know a few ladies who are plump and still look that way, but they are rarer.

There is a lady at my kids' school who comes to mind. Always casually dressed as she works there, but always looks good. Clothes are simple but decent quality and go together, hair short and funky so looks cool even if unbrushed, but has great skin, teeth, nails etc. Has an elegance about her. Good bone structure/genes helps unfortunately.

Oh yes definitely agree that personal grooming is second nature to me. I always exfoliate in the shower and apply body lotion and foot cream every day. I always use hand cream after washing hands and rub cuticle oil into my nails every evening. Regular professional waxing and pedicures. To me this is just normal but to others it would be seen as very high maintenance.

I do think the bar for 'normal' (maintenance) has been raised much higher in recent years and, while I accept that some people find it enjoyable, I always wonder who else is benefiting.

Genes, money and being bothered to make an effort. I'd quite like to look really good, but I don't want it nearly enough to spend the necessary time and money tbh!

I do think the bar for 'normal' (maintenance) has been raised much higher in recent years

It's true. When I was in my late teens, early twenties in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I would straighten my hair, get my tan on, wear a full face of make up and a nice dress...I'd easily stand out on a night out as being quite done up compared to other women. Nowadays so many women will see make up artists for a night out, have lip fillers, botox....so much effort