I'm jealous of younger girls.

[Sweetener12]

I think it is related to beauty so I post it here. So I'm 26 years old and I'm jealous of girls that are 16-20. I feel this way because to me it seems like my 16-20s were the best years in my life and now it's all in the past and these young girls have their full lives just before them. But this is not the main reason. The main reason is that I feel jealous because they look so fresh, fit and nice. I have forehead, neck and cheeks wrinkles from when I was 22-23 and even though I take care of myself (enough sleep, healthy eating, fitness, moisturizing cream, no sleeping with m/u on, no smoking or drinking, etc.) they are still there.
I know that this is life and our looks change as we get older but still somehow it gets me when I see a girl in her 18s having no circles under her eyes or no forehead wrinkles. And I'm only 26!
What do you think about it, have you ever felt like that? Is this a kind of misogyny or am I just crazy, haha?

You're crazy. I looked my absolute best at 28! And I was bloody gorgeous at 19 too!

26 is nothing!

Come back and complain when you're over 40 and falling apart.

Seriously...do NOT waste your youth like this!

Yes, you’re internalising misogynistic ideals of beauty being just about teenagers. (Which is really quite a hebephilic culture - old men who traditionally have money, power and influence have insisted for years that young girls barely out of puberty are the “most attractive”.)

There is much more to style and beauty than an extremely young complexion, and huge benefits to being slightly (or much) older as a woman in this culture.

I’m about to start work so can’t bang on too long, but 1) Try to retrain your eye to see all ages of beauty. Your viewpoint at the moment is almost a form of body dysmorphia. 2) How is the rest of your life going? Are you building a career, savings, economic prospects and independence? Confidence in your talents and abilities? 3) If the warped thinking persists, consider counselling or similar.

No I’ve never felt like this, and I’ve never been envious of other women to be fair either.

The issue is in your own head, your own unhappiness in how you look, or your life, and needs to be addressed. It’s nothing to do with these girls.

Everyday when you wake up you are at your youngest. You are 26 , a mere baby. I'm sure these wrinkles are in your imagination, or at least the tiniest ones, only visble to you.
Both my children are older than you , and if given the chance to go back to your age, I'd refuse. Honestly, your best days are still to come.

How weird , I have a 16 year old dd and when her friends all come over I'm happy for them that they are all lovely and starting out on life .. would I want to be 16 again, not a chance !! I turned heads at 19 and at 46 I don't but you know what I don't care !! 😂😂 enjoy your life ffs !!

I’m your age and starting to get signs of aging and it’s unpleasant. I sympathise, I really do but equally I think you’ve made too much out of this in your head. Transitional events are always unpleasant. If you think back to being a young teenager you probably found that unpleasant too before getting used to the way your body had changed as you got a bit older. You’ll get used to not being youthful as well. Ultimately the way you look isn’t particularly important so it’s not worth getting upset over.

Omg
How are you going to feel when you're an old
Middle aged fucker like me!!!'

I've never felt envious of you younger women. Tbh I feel sorry for them, for exactly the reason you posted. Insecurities , body image etc.

I look and feel the best I ever have, and do you know why OP? Because I have confidence. I know who I am now.

I look at the beautiful, stunning young teenage girls, hunched up and scuttling about and I genuinely feel about sorry for them. They don't know how gorgeous they are and their day has been destroyed because they have an almost invisible spot or eyebrows that aren't quite on fleek.

Don't waste your life feeling envious, my darling. Enjoy who you are! One day you will look at pictures of yourself now, and wonder at how beautiful you are. You will wish you could tell your younger self to have more confidence.

Live your life OP.

I'm the opposite to you. I'm 30 and I look at women sometimes that are 10-30 years older than me and they're more in shape, look better, take better care of themselves etc and just seem more motivated generally and I think I'm so lazy and don't make much effort and have no excuse because someone with 30 more years on the clock than I have can so why can't I?!

I don't give teenagers a second look to be honest. Of course they will look younger, they are younger!

Come back and complain when you're over 40 and falling apart.

Speak for yourself. I'm well over 40 and nothing at all is falling apart

Yes, I think it is internalised misogyny (not to say it’s your fault) and Arietty makes some excellent points.

I’m in my 40s and yes my looks are changing but I FEEL better about them than ever.

Did you watch 10 years younger? The older woman was absolutely stunning. (The younger one was gorgeous but I thought they tarted her up too much). There is so much more to attractiveness than youth.

My recommendation to you is to read some feminist literature. The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf is old now but well worth a read. Anything that helps you see through society’s assumptions about femininity and female beauty will help. You’ll see things differently.

I know what your saying, but at nearly 30, yes I look worse, yes I weigh more but I really don’t care like I used to! ( when I actually looked good! If I do say so myself haha )

Age and looks has no correlation anymore.

I'm 26 and jealous but not because of beauty but because if I could go back in time then my life would be so different. I don't hate where am now I just have regrets because I didn't know what I'd want in the future

I agree that it is about inner misogyny which is not your fault. This feeling is cultivated in us from our childhood. You must look young, you must look beautiful, you must be whatever we want you to be, blah-blah-blah. All these poorly-modeled movies and TV sitcoms also create a feeling in you that there is something wrong with you.
Pp had mention that these wrinkles may only be visible for you and you are overthinking the whole thing. How did you decide you had them? Did you look at your reflection while being in a bad mood? Or did you look through some bad quality photos of you?
26 is a perfect age and your look in a best way possible everyday. To me your post seems like a cry of a person who doesn't love herself. If your appearance means so much for you then I suggest find a good photographer and book a good photo shoot. Ask the photographer to color correct the pictures and NEVER touch your skin or even do it yourself (any easy photo editor for PC will do, you may try Photo works or something) and then look through the photos. They won't be 100% objective (because lighning is important and changes the faces drastically) but at least they will show you your true self. Not your reflection in the mirror, not your selfies. The professional photos catch all the tiniest things so I bet you won't see these wrinkles you are stressing about.
I also getyou when it comes to the feeling that the best years are gone but think of the fact that you have more experience and know much more things in your 26 when the girls at they 16s do. You are beautiful but from what I see you are thinking too much about things that do not necessarily need your attention.

One photoshoot wont change your mind completely but it will work for some time. To solve the problem you should start from the inside: read the literature about the society's expectations, about the manipulation which every woman faces. The Beauty Myth is a great book and it had been mentioned here before. I strongly suggest to read it and do it right now. 26 is a great age to understand this worls better :)

Maybe you need to put less value in your looks and more in other things. I find it very difficult to find sympathy for someone whining about aging at 26. What’s the alternative to getting older?

I'm in my 50s and actually feel that I look better now due to having a decent skincare regime, my skin is much smoother than it was when I was younger. Honestly OP, there are far more important things to think about in life. Are you happy at work, do you want to get different qualifications? Which bits of the world would you like to visit, what adventures would you like to have? Who are the people you love and care about? The only thing you need to do with your skin is cleansing, toning and a bit of moisturizer at night, and wear an SPF during the day and eat well imo.

It's not crazy, beauty is wasted on youth it is often said, and when I look at pics of myself from my late teens and early twenties my god I was beautiful in the way you describe and I felt like one of the ugliest unlovable woman on earth!

Since turning 30 I've come to really appreciate beauty, my own (both past and present) and others. Sometimes this appreciation can turn into slight jealousy, but I think this is more of the confidence and appreciation I see some younger woman having then I did myself.

Puh-lease. I'm 44. I'm sure you think I'm ancient. I earn 6 figures, I'm svelte and have a wardrobe you would die for. Go improve yourself somehow and stop whining.

Yes I feel like this sometimes. There are a few things that normally snap me out of it. One is remembering that, when I was young, I didn't even enjoy my looks that much. Another is reflecting on the double whammy that is misogyny and ageism and to which we all fall prey from time to time. Another is thinking about my friends who never made it this far. And if none of them work I have a good laugh at my own vanity and tell myself to stop being such a dick.

Dunno about you love but I’m 36 and I’m fiiiiiiiiine

At 26, you are still in your prime. Enjoy it and wait until you're at least 35 before you let yourself feel old.

You're going to get older and so are those 16-20 year olds. The only alternative is death and who wants that!

Just get on with your life and make the most of it. You have some many experiences before you, go out there and have them, instead of looking in the mirror so much.

I'm 45 and still having adventures. I couldn't care less about my age, I can't change it.

I'm 63 and very happy with the way I look. Just stick to good basic skin care, and enjoy doing other stuff with your life than obsessing over other people and staring in the mirror. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Wow you really have internalised misogyny.

I'm a lot older than you are. I've noticed something. Whenever you look back on old photos of yourself, you always think "wow, I looked so young!". It's the same whether the photos are 5 years old or 50 years old.

Please appreciate how young and beautiful you are. Keep appreciating it for the rest of your life.