I'm jealous of younger girls.

[Sweetener12]

I think it is related to beauty so I post it here. So I'm 26 years old and I'm jealous of girls that are 16-20. I feel this way because to me it seems like my 16-20s were the best years in my life and now it's all in the past and these young girls have their full lives just before them. But this is not the main reason. The main reason is that I feel jealous because they look so fresh, fit and nice. I have forehead, neck and cheeks wrinkles from when I was 22-23 and even though I take care of myself (enough sleep, healthy eating, fitness, moisturizing cream, no sleeping with m/u on, no smoking or drinking, etc.) they are still there.
I know that this is life and our looks change as we get older but still somehow it gets me when I see a girl in her 18s having no circles under her eyes or no forehead wrinkles. And I'm only 26!
What do you think about it, have you ever felt like that? Is this a kind of misogyny or am I just crazy, haha?

Zenithbear sadly it does. I don’t mean the size necessarily -I’m exactly the same size as when I was 18 and still have a flat stomach, slim toned arms, legs, and the rest of it (my favourite pair of jeans from back then are now my favourite pair of shorts after I cut the legs off as they faded too much). But I am older there’s no denying it. It doesn’t mean I’m terribly sad about or envious of how younger women look. I’ve been there and treasured it as much as I was capable of at the time.
But, for example, I have got a collection of subtle tiny flat moles on random places from sun exposure and the odd cherry angioma. Looking at older but well preserved friends, the skin simply hasn’t got the same lustre and softness and bounce, elbows, knees, necks and hands are most certainly nowhere near what a 20 year old would have. The skin of a more matured women can’t and will never look as it did in their 20s.
But so what? It’s not the end of the world.
OP, treasure what you have now, be grateful for what you had and be kind to yourself. You’ve done nothing to have your looks, you can’t take credit for it, they were given to you can accept that growing a bit older every year it’s part of how you develop as a woman, enjoy it. Enjoy every stage of your life, you’re only at the beginning! And be generous in allowing others to enjoy their stages of their lives.

OP hasn't been back, has she?

Whatever is happening at the moment to make you feel your best days are gone, it will pass. Help it to pass by doing things /introducing things in to your life you enjoy. Something physical for the endorphins would be ideal. When you feel better I think these feelings will pass. You have to not entertain the jealous thoughts. Tell yourself no and force yourself to think about something else. Let the jealous feeling go through you. I think the more fun you can intro in to your life you'll have less space for this stuff inside your head.

It's not about age or appearance it's about what's happening in your life.

I'm 40 and honestly I sodding grateful not to be in my 20's anymore. I'm slimmer now and in better shape than I have ever been. I dress better , my skin is clearer. However more importantly i couldn't care less what most people think of me. I'm far more secure in myself than when i was younger when i was a mess if hormones and other peoples expectations.

The thing with internalised misogyny is that you dont have to accept it , or you will waste your life comparing yourself or worrying, trust me every decade gets better.

Of course there are downsides, I do have a few wrinkles etc etc but frankly I dont care because nothing about my life or my appearance is done for anyone else (with the exception of my DC obviously )

I'm 19 and I swear, I see some stunning middle aged women. But beyond that, a good personality goes a long way.

Average looking women can become beautiful when you get to know them. You see them as kind, charismatic or whatever.

Anyway, what I would say is just stop caring. That doesn't mean neglect yourself- do maintain your appearance. But don't worry why other people think. Make sure you look good for yourself, wear flattering clothes and be a great person all round

OP be kinder to yourself, and stop comparing your self with that age group, who are basically children. Hang out with older friends, develop other interests, you're only 27, this is no way to live

26 is no age and at 45 I’d urge you to enjoy it and don’t look back.

I’d say that at any age really because everyone is only going to get older (if they’re lucky)

One of my friends burned to death in a fire in Ireland aged 25. She will never get to age.

Be grateful you can get older.

I don't worry about younger people being or looking younger than me, but I do look back at my younger self and want to slap her for thinking she was fat with big legs and for not wearing the clothes she wanted to wear.

This is the saddest thread I have read in some time. And I really don’t mean that in a bitchy way. I just think it’s awful that society has reduced you to feeling this way.
I’m early 40s and spent my youth partying/having fun and not caring about my looks. As I’ve got older I look back at those fun filled care-free times and miss them but I don’t feel jealous of young women.
It is very likely you will get older and saggier wrinklier over time. It is possible you will have children which will stretch your now toned body out of shape. But that is life. That is what it’s all about.
I’m not sure how you release your vanity and focus more on things that matter but you need to. I have a close friend that was like you. She is my age now and very depressed about her loss of looks. It has made her a bitter person.
You are more than your looks. And FWIW I probably looked at my peak late 30s. So everyone is different.

i was like this around your age. now i'm 33 with 2 kids and i'm more secure than i've ever been despite being in sweat pants with frizzy hair and eye bags mostly. and i couldn't give two hoots about pretty young girls. good for them in fact, and i'm
always up for hearing about their love lives and giving them unsolicited advice!!

Comments above, such as ‘are you blonde? Blondes age quickly’ etc, are especially misogynistic.

Think about it.

I’m 34 and in good shape body wise but feel like my skin has aged the last couple of years and I’m losing my poor face which bothers me particularly when I see photos and no longer look like I think I look iyswim. I think it’s natural to mourn our youth a bit but we are not exactly close to death! We don’t look altogether worse, just different!

Re. Blondes aging more quickly. Some do, but others don't. It all depends how you look after your skin, sun exposure, etc.

I know blondes in their 40's/50's who look great, as well as some brunettes who've aged more rapidly.

If you sit out in the sun year after year then yes, you'll be looking leathery by middle-age, regardless of your hair/skin tone.

It’s only going to get worse

One thing that's improve for most of my social group, though, is how we dress. You figure out what suits you and don't worry about fashion as much, so you look better overall.

Thinking this because my DD (14) went out in an unfortunate dress yesterday, it didn't do anything for her, but it was a fashion choice.

Thank you everyone for your answers and support! @Frownette I'm here and have been reading all the answers. I know it sounds silly but yeah, I see what lots of ladies are telling me about. I will try to be kinder to myself and to look to what's inside me.
I honestly don't think my career (which is OK) or my general life have something to do with this because you can be very good at your workplace but crashed inside. Anyway, thanks to those who suggested to read some particular books and huge thanks for the photo shoot idea, I love it!

SPF 50 every single day from now on. Sun damage is the major cause of skin damage.
I guarantee you, that in 10 years you will look back at photos of you now and think, gosh what was I worried about.

you need feminism. Youre so much more than this.
Everyone ages. Nobody is getting any younger.

Aging is a strange process. It’s not a smooth gradual,process,like soil erosion. You stay looking pretty much the same for years and then practically overnight things shift. Your looks mature once you turn 19 or 20 and then the changes slow down. Wear spf 50 everyday and continue with your healthy lifestyle and you probably won’t change much between now and the menopause.

Please don’t torment yourself for not looking like a child, it would be weird and bit creepy if you still looked like a schoolgirl. Enjoy looking like the very young woman you are.

@Sweetener12 nice to see you perkier and happier :)