I'm jealous of younger girls.

[Sweetener12]

I think it is related to beauty so I post it here. So I'm 26 years old and I'm jealous of girls that are 16-20. I feel this way because to me it seems like my 16-20s were the best years in my life and now it's all in the past and these young girls have their full lives just before them. But this is not the main reason. The main reason is that I feel jealous because they look so fresh, fit and nice. I have forehead, neck and cheeks wrinkles from when I was 22-23 and even though I take care of myself (enough sleep, healthy eating, fitness, moisturizing cream, no sleeping with m/u on, no smoking or drinking, etc.) they are still there.
I know that this is life and our looks change as we get older but still somehow it gets me when I see a girl in her 18s having no circles under her eyes or no forehead wrinkles. And I'm only 26!
What do you think about it, have you ever felt like that? Is this a kind of misogyny or am I just crazy, haha?

Wow. I'm a tad speechless.
I'm 48 and still get told I'm bloody gorgeous and the great thing is I finally feel it too!

You really need to get a grip before you actually do age. And maybe get off the type of social media that has led you to feel this way?

Don't you have a personality or more than two brains to rub together?

The most attractive people I know are ones who have a sense of humour and are nice people with loads of interests.

This is sad to read. I'm 49 and feeling less valuable as a woman only fairly recently but crucially, more valuable as a PERSON if that makes sense.

As others have said you're internalising the patriarchy and seeing women's value ONLY in their youth.

But there is more to it than JUST internalising the patriarchy. When we are very young adults we are really forming our identity. So being very young becomes a part of our identity! It's kind of obvious. And then, as you age (a little) if you haven't developed any additional identity, then you're going to feel your only sense of yourself diminishing.

I'd advise thinking about what your values are. What do you care about. What did you do between the ages of 8 and 14. Start doing that again.

I mourned the loss of youth, but at a much older age! So I asked myself ''what do I want to enjoy that is inaccessible to me now that I'm older?'' and there is actually very little. Ok, being desired physically by men and that is about it. And in your cases you have decades before you need to consider that. And when that comes, there's a freedom of sorts in that too!

I'm 27 and sometimes jealous of fresh faced 20 year olds. I have a 4 year old and definitely could pass for 40.

I don't even drink or smoke and I do try to keep fit. I'm just sleep deprived and it shows (a lot)

Did you get a lot of attention from mena and women when younger OP?

I did and its tailed off now for me. I was so used to it that it's been difficult to adjust to being invisible.

I think I looked my best at about 40. Might have lost that really youthful glow but overall I looked the best. Hair and make up suited me. I was dressing really well, my kids were at primary school, I was exercising loads.

It's not ALL OVER at 27. It never is. You're just in a slump.

See I’ve always been quite average looking which I think can make it easier to age. I’ve always thought it must be more difficult for the really attractive women who have always got attention to get older and grow ‘invisible’ or at least lose that element of their identity. Although saying that I’m sure some actually welcome the change?

I’m surprised you’re feeling this way in your 20’s though! Even by society’s shallow definition of beauty and attractiveness, women in their 20’s/30’s are still considered in their ‘prime’.

To me most 16/17-year-olds can still look quite childlike tbh and a different kind of beautiful to a woman in her mid 20s.

Remember that the 16-20 year-olds you envy now will be 26 one day ... and 36 and 46 and 86 ...

I don't know about that!

I'm only a little bit more attractive than average, but YOUTH was still a part of my identity. I lacked any other identity for years.

It wasn't just to do with being attractive. Being young feels like the default.

I'm 28 and jealous of some late teenagers because they seem so polished compared to myself at their age! I was spotty (spottier), would hide my face with my hair, and didn't apply makeup very well!

I feel I look much better now I'm 28.

I see beauty in all ages. I was dining out recently and admired a lady with silver hair in an Audrey Hepburn up-do, with a scarf around her neck and minimal makeup. She looked superb.

I've seen another lady in the supermarket wearing yoga pants and top with grey long hair and she looked fantastic.

Beauty really is everywhere and isn't defined by age.

Delete Instagram you will feel a lot better about yourself!!

I’m 27 and for the first time in my life I feel at ease with how I look and who I am! It’s really saddening that you are feeling so down op!
I actually prefer my looks now as opposed to being 20. At 20 I was eating disordered, terrible at doing my make up, had no clue what style I liked or what clothes suited me and was just a mess. Yes, I was not ugly and I can see that looking at pictures but I was lost. I didn’t know what I stood for or believed in or who I wanted to be.

These days I feel like all those previous faults are corrected. Granted not everybody likes the way I look. An elderly lady actually turned towards me in the street the other day and said ‘OH DEAR GOD’ disparagingly but did it phase me? No. I’m happy with myself and I would not go back to the self loathing I felt at 20 if you paid me!
I really hope you find the same confidence in yourself op, I really do. Life is so short and to quote one of my favourite songs, ‘we are not delivering a perfect body to the grave’.

Yes, it is internalised misogyny. To be fair it takes a lifetime to unravel this shit. Some pps have given reasons to look down on younger women but that’s not healthy either. The way we talk about other women (in own head or aloud) becomes the way we talk about ourselves. The best advice I can give is for you to try to retrain your eye to see beauty in older women. It will help you see beauty in yourself.

In the words of my favourite lyrics:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine

I was not far off your age when this song was released. I went to one of those boutique photo places and spent a few hundred quid and now 20 years on I am so glad I did. But it's also made me realise that today, right now is the best I'll look and I can see a little everyday that I'm ever so slowly deteriorating looks-wise.
Trust me when I say you look amazing 😉

Yeah I looked like a troll I had no clue, I’m looking like shit now and trying to claw it back lol! 35 and awful I’m afraid...

Are you wearing sunblock op?.

Are you blonde? Blonde friends aged quicker than me at uni. They had very fair skin.

Stormciara, yes, I usen't to see beauty in older women when I was very young, but now I really do and often.

@Firsttimelottie I’m a similar age to you and that’s actually one reason I’m glad I’m not a teen now- standards seem way higher and more expensive with hair/makeup/clothes/nails then ten years ago

So you are at an age where, based on your own vision of life, you are living your best years. So make the most of it!
I’ve never felt jealous about other women’s looks of any age whatsoever, if anything I often admire them for various aspects and find some of them very inspirational.
Yes, the age group you are describing, have the best skin and body tone they will have in their life without having to put in any effort but, sadly, those age related insecurities don’t usually allow these girls to appreciate and enjoy what they have.
I have one older DD and, to me, 16-18 are still children in terms of mental development, I would never compare myself to that age group. The concept of viewing girls that age as more grownup is simply appalling to me and it is based on some stupid law about sex being legal over 16. I’ve spent a lot of time with girls that age, and their facial features are still very much child like, only a superficial or predatory individual would view them as women. Nonetheless they all look gorgeous and I genuinely am happy for them not jealous.
I don’t quite understand the misogyny argument so can’t comment on that.
But, all I can tell you, based on my own experience, every stage is beautiful as long as you have a realistic perception of your looks and, if it actually matters to you, you try and look after yourself as best as you can. Consistency is more important than what you actually do.
You will probably get more lines, your body will definitely change over the years but you should go with the flow, make the best of what you have left as you get older and don’t compare yourself to other women (not a productive way of living).
Trust me, lines or wrinkles are so not the worst thing that can happen to a woman’s looks.

Good grief, I never noticed any ageing until I was in my mid 30s after two children. I must be practically on the scrap heap at 44. 16-19 year olds are practically foetuses.

16-20 are the acne years for many people. I looked my best at 32.

Wouldn’t be 16 again if you bumped my pocket money up to 2s 6d!

your body will definitely change over the years
Mine hasn't changed hardly and I'm early 50's, in fact I would say it's better as I felt gawky as a teenager. I was a bit too thin then, it's filled out a teeny bit now and I much prefer it.

I think it’s quite sad if 16-20 is the best time of your life really. There’s a lot of downhill from there!