Divorced, 40 and I know nothing.

[MummaEss]

Please lovely ladies, help me.

I have just turned 40 and my youthful looks are draining fast. I have never had a daily make up regime. Even in my teens I felt self conscious about makeup and felt I looked like a drag queen when I tried. I never learned how to apply make up properly or what the different products do. I was ok with this as I had a fresh face and big eyes. I could get by without.

Fast forward to now. I'm divorced and just turned 40, 3 kids, little time. My chubby face is sagging, my eyes receding into squinty pin holes, I look tired and sick and I desperately need some help!!

I do moisturize and use a little mascara daily but more is definitely needed. I'm after a subtle looking, fresh look. Nothing thick. Easy and relatively quick to do. I know literally nothing about how or where to apply things. I feel too old to not know about these things and am embarrassed.

Please reccomend me some products and a basic instruction on where and how to apply.

I can post a pic of my face if it helps?

Could you try a tinted moisturiser-(I like clarins) plus a bit of blusher and a tinted lip balm. Subtle but enough to make you feel good.
A decent pair of jeans with a shirt and a good jacket with boots or trainers?
Make yourself feel good and don’t talk yourself down, 40 is young!

What skin type have you got OP? I've got quite oily skin so my make up recommendations might not suit you.

I’m the same age & situation as you OP. I recently mentioned to a friend that I thought I should start wearing some concealer or something.. so we went to Boots.. next thing I know she’s got me sitting in one of those chairs at a Clinique counter (I’ve never done that before in my life) the Clinique last was lovely, asked me questions and gave me little tester pots of things to try. She showed me how to use a foundation stick and brush to put some on. Although I was mortified sitting in that chair, if my friend hadn’t sprung it on me I wouldn’t have learnt quite what I did. I would now recommend talking to someone n the counter like that. I now use a foundation stick as well as my usual mascara. Not quite up to lipstick but do use a lipgloss 😁

I have always cleansed and moisturised though so he that down to a T. But.. I do only buy what’s on offer or I get in the boots xmas sale (generally no7)

You sound lovely and I'm sure you have good points that you are denying. I like to look natural & I too feel that full makeup is too much (DQ) even when I'm told I've done a great job! I too have a puffy face and tiny wrinkles but lovely big eyes are an awesome feature (I have them too)! If you are well moisturised then BB cream is very natural looking. If you worry that that's too much colour then combine with moisturiser in your palm before spreading it. Make sure you don't cover up your natural blush or, if you do use a creamy formula rather than powder. Any eye colours that are shimmer/glitter really really bring out the wrinkles so with shadows go matte. I don't wear mascara but use a wet line brush to make a darker eyeline from darkest shadow. Use medium/dark in the contour, over the pupil I use the lightest shade. Everything all dark really makes your eyes small. And boy oh boy if you do one thing get your eyebrows perfectly contoured and plucked/waxed appropriately and colour them in everyday - in a natural way. Having good brows (not Scouse slugs) is actually the one thing that lets you get away with not wearing any other makeup. And finally: you don't even have to wear anything- any makeup you don't like, you don't have to listen to me or anyone else as long as you do what you like.

If you have a Bobbie Brown store near you (they are in house of Fraser /selfridges too), you can book a make up lesson...I’ve yet to do it but keep meaning to as I am a similar age and don’t know how to apply eye shadow blusher etc!

Thanks so much for your replies. I'm taking notes down and will compile a shopping list. With things like concealer, where do I put it?

I might try and recruit someone to come with me for a demo thing but I genuinely feel so awkward about it.

Eyebrows is avery good point. They used to be shaped nicely but have gone haywire. I pluck out strays but have no clue on shaping and am scared of making a mess. Where do you get them done please? And what to ask for. I dont want the statement ones.

Re eyebrows, I would get them threaded, do mine every 2 weeks.

I think No. 7 is a good brand and they also have counters and helpful staff. I would go for tinted moisturiser, mascara, eyebrow gel, tinted lip balm and a bit of blush or bronzer. They do a lipstick/balm that is really nice.

Eyebrow shaping is a great idea, some Primarks have a beauty bar that you can get them done at as a walk in which I find very convenient.

Watch makeup tutorials on YouTube. Game changer. I like Gemma at Pampered Wolf, and Caroline Barnes. Nadine Baggott (spelling?) too. 40 is young! Get a Decent cleanser (I like CeraVe). A tinted moisturiser with SPF is a good shout too. Mascara, lip gloss and you are good to go if you want to keep it light and easy to do.

go to a counter and ask them to do something for you. SO much easier than trying to figure it out

YouTube is definitely your friend if you're not wanting to sit and have your make up done in store yet. I think once you have a rough idea of what you might be looking for you should try samples from different brands too. I don't think any of my skincare bits and pieces, or make up, are from the same brand. If you are starting from scratch with skincare, Superdrug's own range is very reasonably priced and gathers some pretty rave reviews.

A BB or CC cream applied with a foundation brush, mascara, touch of blush and concealer for dark eye circles work wonders. Easy and quick to apply is another added bonus.

Photo would help but good skincare is a must.

Decent cleanser and moisturiser. I use a facial oil at night as I've found my skin has become much drier with age

I would recommend Boots no7 concession or Body shop for a make up lesson! They have nice natural colours, nothing too out there. Good luck :)

Thank you all so much for taking the time to help. I think il go shopping and have a long trial at home with some YouTube tutorials. If I still cant manage I will brave a shop tutorial.
Can I do my own eyebrows from a youtube video do you think or would it be far better to have them done professionally?

Do not try to do your own eyebrows!! If there's one thing that's worth paying someone else to do, it's eyebrows!

Find somewhere that does threading near you.

Superdrug are good for threading and dying (and cheap). You can also get gel nails done there too, which is convenient if you are already there sorting your eyebrows.

I have pr

Do you have a friend you could ask? If not, and if you live in/close to london, we could meet up, and we could go to Boots and try stuff out. I used to work for Virgin Vie , and currently work for LGFB.

Lisa Eldridge make up tutorials on YouTube are great. She has a beginner section for foundation and easy,natural looks.
She also talks about cleansing and face massage and tries different brands and price points

I can recommend Lisa Eldridge on YouTube - I’ve tried to follow a number of her videos and I’m getting better each time. She does use some pricey products though, so I often have to look for alternatives.

Should really have read the thread. I see she’s already been recommended!

With things like concealer, where do I put it?

I think the question is, do you need it?

I'm well into my 50s and I use a tiny bit of No 7 foundation on my nose and chin. A tiny bit of blusher and some Eucerin lip balm.

I think your question should be - what do you actually need - if you have good skin you won't need concealer

Double cleanse, though. That's crucial imo. And care with acids. They do not suit me!!

I'm nearing 40 and have recently started wearing no7 protect and perfect foundation. They colour matched me and it's great....not too heavy but makes me feel a bit more like I've made an effort 👍

For products I’d suggest either Maybelline Dream Urban Cover applied with a brush - recommend The Beauty Expert brush or Boot Intelligent Foundation, it very light and adjusts to your skin colour. I’m older than you and find a primer is good for me and I’ve been using both of the Ordinary primers.
For blusher I’ve found the Max Factor creme Puff blushers good - they’re suppose to be a dupe of the Hourglass ones, but I find they are very light and subtle. The new Rimmell jelly blushers look nice and sheer and foolproof, I’m going to get one it’s just no where has my colour in at the moment!
Lips - for the day I use the small Vaseline red tub, it’s lovely subtle with a hint of colour or for going out a Clinique chubby stick (honestly you can’t go wrong with a crayon).
Mascara - I’m trying different mascaras at the moment, but think the Bobbi Brown Smoky eyes mascara is good (it might just be that it’s got a big fat wand which I find best for my lashes though!). Use an eyelash curler though ..... the difference they make is amazing.
Perfume is nice too but I have a tendency to keep my for best so I buy a body spray from Superdrug. I think they’re called layering body sprays or something like that, they’re all dupes for expensive perfumes - I use the “Blossom “ one which smells just like “Alien “ perfume. If you google them I’m sure you’ll find a list of what they’re dupes for.

Can recommend Nadine Baggott, Speed Beauty with Caroline Barnes and Hot and Flashy on YouTube.

Hope this helps.

OP if you are 'starting out' I agree that Boots own brand is a good beginning - it may not be your forever brand but the quality is good, the products are reasonably priced and the colours & coverage tend to be nice & natural.

I think (if you have half way decent skin) all you need is:

under eye concealer (a liquid brightener)
spot or patch concealer (this will be thicker, often a cream or even a stick)
tinted moisturiser, BB cream or similar
blush (cream is best over 40)
mascara
lipstick or maybe a coloured lip balm. I'd avoid a gloss, they're usually high maintenance.