effortless class

[itallwentwrongat30]

Do some people just have "it"?

I know a girl who just seems to ooze class if that makes sense. She does tend to wear some expensive clothing items but I really don't think that is it - I am quite sure that if I wore the same expensive clothes I wouldn't have the same "air" about me lol

I can't even put my finger on what it is - she is certainly pretty and has gorgeous thick bouncy hair. She isn't a skinny supermodel figure but just always looks GOOD!

I wish I could be that effortlessly classy looking - but I am failing (though trying) in that department....

Confidence is often the secret, that and excellent posture. Posture is really important I think. Everything on top of that helps, discreet but good quality accessories, a subtle but beautiful fragrance, shiny hair and nice teeth but bad posture and a clumsy walk will cancel all those out.

Remember those old articles and clips about finishing school with young women walking around with books on their heads, learning to walk? Years ago I knew a couple of girls that attended Lucy Clayton Academy (friends of friends) must have been the late 80’s I think, really lovely girls and very polished. I remember they were quite embarrassed about the school, I found it fascinating. Very rich parents who lived in the UAE, friends with people like Jemima Khan but very happy to sink pints in the local. They had the air that you mean.

Yes that all makes sense! Its funny because I do think of ladies from years gone by and do love that whole ladylike???? air about them (without any added oppression of course before I get blasted lol

Well dressed and yes just classy! I would love to have it but I feel I fail lol

It’s all about deportment 😀
Some people shuffle along apologetically and others glide into a room knowing they have a perfect right to be there. I know I have a perfect right to be there but will still collide into a table sometimes!

Haha maybe that is my issue - I have insecurities and sometimes feel like everyone is looking ad judging (they are not0 and I get quite shy around people. Maybe I need to create more of an "air" about myself!

I agree, confidence and posture. Good underwear helps too.

Also time and money counts for a lot. Not stressed, better skin, better diet. Time to go to the gym and work out. Regular manicure and haircut. Subtle tan.

Ha LuxuryWoman my mum used to teach at Lucie Clayton! And you're spot on, she would never let me slouch or relax my stomach muscles so now even though I'm almost 60 I have good posture...

I read something once, I forget if it was an actress but it was someone who’d landed amongst glamour and big parties and such (actually it might have been Mandy Rice Davies) anyway, I don’t recall but she said that before entering somewhere she’d put a smile on her face, put her shoulders back and literally say in her head ‘I belong here’ or in have a right to be here’

I know I have a knack that I could make Chanel look a bit scruffy unfortunately. There’s something to be said for feeling very comfortable with what you’re wearing, that old ‘if you don’t feel good you won’t look good’ saying has truth.

Oh wow LouisaMayAlcott I’d love to hear more about the school, I remember when I first met these girls that it seemed so glamorous they went there but also I was quite surprised these things still existed. It was definitely the late eighties, raves were a new thing and people were dressing down a bit to go out but conversely there was also the ‘It girl’ thing with Tara PT, Tamara Beckwith and so on.

Agree with PP. It's all about posture.

Keep your shoulder blades back and down and the rest just falls into place.

Confidence plays a big part but I bet she looks after herself (hair, clothes, skin, figure...) as well! "Effortless" is rarely effortless.

You are probably right in that appearing effortless isn't actually effortless. She does seem to take a lot of care of her hair, skin etc and always does her make up and hair nice - no matter what she is doing. And she does appear to have the time to do it as she works PT with no kids etc. Her job is in hair//beauty too so I suppose that helps.

I always become full of good ideas of making more effort then end up rolling out the door with my hair scraped on top of my head and a comfy big jumper on eek!

I am going to try and work on myself though - it was a sort of new years resolution after getting a bit too settled!

I would love to do a finishing school/poise type class. I wonder if such a thing exists??

They do exist itallwentwrongat30

Have a google of finishing school for adults, some seem aimed at business people who travel, I guess it’s the ‘fitting in anywhere’ thing. They sound quite fun.

I am off to google! I think it would be quite fun! This has turned into a discussion at work with one of the men in my team who is about to retire! He has just read me out a section from a traditional etiquette book about how to hold ones skirt when stepping onto a pavement! He has also found me some more modern books in this area!!

When I was young I picked up a couple of ‘how to be a lady’ type books at jumble sales, I wish I still had them.
Things like how to address a bishop in a letter! how to have poise in certain situations. One had a really quite modern bit about it what we’d recognise as a capsule wardrobe (good jacket, spend more on shoes)
They had beautiful illustrations, quite a lot about food too with the emphasis on eating well and being strong (not thin and depriving yourself) I think they were written in the thirties, why didn’t I keep them?

Isn't it typical! Throw stuff away in a clear out and want them back years later!!!

Things like how to address a bishop in a letter!

🤣

Drina27 My dear, you simply have no idea how useful that advice has been over the years 😀

how to address a bishop in a letter

^^

Don't tell me, that's a euphemism...