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Original poster

Help! Dress Related! (Picture included)

94 replies

DM1209 · 01/02/2020 23:28

Hello all, I need help. I have a very high profile event to attend in the future.
Think corporate/legal/black tie/evening gown....

I usually avoid these events like the plague but this one I simply cannot get out of.

I have trawled and trawled the internet and stores in person, trying to find a dress and I'm at a loss. Out of all the dresses I have tried on, there is one that I like in terms of the cut, design and colour; but it shows too much cleavage in my opinion. I'm posting a picture of me wearing the dress, it really is too much boob isn't it?

Can anyone please help with something similar but less booby.
The dress(es) must be full length, have a sleeve and not entail me flashing my boobs!

For context I am 40 this year, mum to 3 DC and in a very serious career so I want to look professional and smart but not like a 'mum' and not like I've made zero effort but equally not like I'm falling out of my clothes trying to land a Judge!

Help!

OP posts:

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 02/02/2020 08:27

That dress looks stunning on you!

similarminimer · 02/02/2020 08:34

Have you looked at renting - try mywardrobehq - you can borrow an exquisite designer dress for £100 - not suggesting these are the right ones but for example

mrssmiling · 02/02/2020 08:44

You look great, but I agree that if you are not comfortable in a dress, you won’t feel relaxed. Would something like this work? Still elegant and sexy but less cleavage. www.johnlewis.com/monsoon-bethany-bardot-pleat-lace-maxi-dress-navy/p4827949
Monsoon and Phase Eight usually have great evening dresses, and there are sales on. John Lewis site is definitely worth a look, if you haven’t searched already? Hope you have a great evening!

BBBear · 02/02/2020 09:17

You look amazing, but I agree it’s a bit booby for the event you’re going to.

Where is the dress from? I am going to a ball where boobage will be acceptable!

KatharinaRosalie · 02/02/2020 09:21

Agree with other posters that you shouldn't wear something you're not totally comfortable in. There are so many higher neck dresses out there.

I would get a (french) manicure, but would not bother with lash extensions or anything like that.

GooodMythicalMorning · 02/02/2020 09:27

Not read the whole thing but just wanted to say you look stunning in it. beautiful.

WillowySnicket · 02/02/2020 09:33

You look incredible but I do think it is too booby. FWIW!

emma6776 · 02/02/2020 09:38

You look amazing! It’s not too revealing, but your 8 year olds sounds exactly like mine!

Bluntness100 · 02/02/2020 09:45

Yeah I get the issue, I work in a corp environment and any hint of boob would have me self conscious too.

The dress looks lovely on you. My fall back is usually round neck sleeveless, what's important is you feel comfy and aren't thinking are they looking at my boobs all night.

Inforthelonghaul · 02/02/2020 09:48

It’s beautiful and you look fantastic but for me the neckline V finished just a bit too low. I think it’s because you can see the your actual boobs rather than just cleavage and for me that spoils it but I agree with PP that a modesty panel etc will look odd. Is there anyway that a seamstress could sew up the bottom bit so that it finishes at the next level (don’t know how to describe those shaped bits of lace sorry) because then it would be perfect.

seltaeb · 02/02/2020 09:49

IMO it is too low cut - but I am no expert on such events.

ScarlettDarling · 02/02/2020 09:50

I don't think it's too booby at all. The rest of the dress is very modest...long, not skin tight, arms and shoulders covered, so the boobs just make it sexy in a sophisticated way!

It looks great op, don't be adding lace panels or it will look frumpy. Enjoy wearing it!

TheReef · 02/02/2020 10:27

Looks amazing op

GoldenCrunchMunch · 02/02/2020 10:43

Lovely dress that suits you but too much boob for a serious work do.

MooMinCow · 02/02/2020 10:52

Pretty dress but I would trust your gut instinct OP. If you’re feeling uncomfortable in it, you will be constantly fidgeting and adjusting it all evening and it will distract you. With your figure you could wear anything and personally I think the dress is a bit ‘matronly’ for you.

I think the tuxedo idea is great. Not too far from your work uniform and you can add a cami underneath for cover. Also has the advantage of being able to rewear as separates in the future.

Are you Asian OP? I only ask as you mentioned a Kara upthread. Would you consider a simple salwar/churidar combo like this? Plenty of coverage and very understated but elegant.

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/02/2020 10:54

I think you look beautiful. I think there are plenty of lace inserts and modesty panels out there but I'd find a local dressmaker to get a good match. I don't think it shows too much cleavage but if you don't feel comfortable it's an easy fix.

mylaptopismylapdog · 02/02/2020 11:02

You look lovely make the most of it, there wil come a time when you look back on it and realise just how good you looked.

nowlook · 02/02/2020 11:16

Similar job to you, OP. I liked the Aiden Mattox dress worn by Lana del Ray to the Grammys. Might be worth looking at some of his stuff?

Theredjellybean · 02/02/2020 11:18

You have an incredible figure and it's gorgeous but I also go to lots of events like the one you describe and I avoid cleavage.. As sadly many men still see it as an invitation to behave inappropriately.
I buy dresses off amazon.. As don't want to spend too much . This one is lovely.. I have it in grey.. Looks much more expensive than it is

nowlook · 02/02/2020 11:23

Sorry- link to the dress. It's the neckline I think works

www.harveynichols.com/brand/aidan-mattox/360456-fully-beaded-gown/p3638721/

marblesgoing · 02/02/2020 11:25

Wow op.

Absolutely amazing dress and you look fantastic in it.
Not at all too booby.

As for cock watching well that's another story

wrinkledimplelover · 02/02/2020 11:43

I agree that the dress is beautiful on you, but it's not the dress for the type of event you're going to, for the reason you raised. Keep it though for another event ;) (then you'll have to go to another event!).

Unless you can imagine someone peering at your cleavage and it not bothering you at all, I'd go for something else.

You've a beautiful figure! It shouldn't be too hard to find something else that is more comfortable to wear all evening and that you look great in!

polkadotpj · 02/02/2020 13:07

Yes too booby - because you think so. I mean that if you’re conscious of it then you won’t feel comfy. I think it’s beautiful and fine levels of cleavage but if you’re pulling st it or looking down then it’s not right for you

Original poster

DM1209 · 02/02/2020 14:58

Thank you everyone for the fantastic advice, feedback regarding what is acceptable at such events from those that have attended and the really uplifting compliments that of course have been so, so lovely to read. Thank you.

Someone asked, yes I am of Indian heritage and did float the idea with my supervisor about perhaps wearing something cultural (I think culture is feeding a little into the whole my 'breasts are visible' discomfort) and she was really positive of the idea but then others not so much in that it wasn't the correct platform for such an outfit.

I think the key is that I am lacking confidence and such events take me out of my comfort zone. I got unexpectedly left with my 3 children 5 years ago and have had to rebuild our entire life so my focus has been solely on them and my profession.

I literally have not had a single night away from my DC's in 6 years (youngest is 6 so last time I was out anywhere was before she was born with my ex-husband), and my entire wardrobe attire is work related, pyjamas or cultural. That is it.
This new 'dress to impress' outside of the office is way, way out of my league which is why I am so very grateful for all of the feedback.

OP posts:

Bellsandwhistle · 02/02/2020 15:11

I attend lots of events like this and that dress is absolutely perfect on you for such an event. Many of my colleagues wear low cut dresses to black tie dinners. If I saw you in that dress my only thought would be where is it from I want it?!! Show it to the colleague going with you and I bet she will say it’s perfect. Not one other dress anyone has linked to touches that one so I’d go for it!

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