Is this a mistake?

[TheGirlFromStoryville]

I need to lose a lot of weight...

DH and I have been invited to a vair posh wedding in June next year. I've been looking at dresses and have seen a few I really like on offer but was thinking of ordering in a size 18 or 20 in the hope of slimming down to fit into it. Currently size 26 😞

Good / bad idea?

V bad idea

Bad idea. As someone who has lost a LOT of weight (used to be a 24, now a size 10) I know that these ‘motivations’ simply end up causing pressure and low self esteem.

My advice? Start putting the work in now and buy a dress closer to the time.

Just buy a dress in May/June in the size you are at the time, surely?

I thought so tbh which is why I was hesitating.

pictish, if you don't mind me asking, how did you manage your incredible weight loss. That's amazing!

bad idea. Start slimming now and buy dress later. I was tempted to do this but I think it just ends up being something that reminds you how far you have to go rather than motivating you. What I do find helpful is celebrating getting to the next size by buying myself something not too expensive in that size or even just trying on clothes in that size and marvelling at the change before I set my sights on the next size down! June is a very achievable target to make a significant difference to your weight.

I agree with the others. Once when I'd gained weight I hung a much loved article of clothing on the bathroom door for several months. I already owned it, had great memories of wearing it and looking and feeling good. Thay was a motivator. Buying something new that comes with a deadline is different to this, it's just pressure and stress.

Honestly?
Diet and exercise and long term lifestyle changes.

I did not:
Calorie count
Join a slimming club
Use diet products
Weigh myself obsessively
Follow any regime whatsoever
Buy clothes too small for me to slim into

I did:
Cut out all the junk
Learn to cook more creatively with healthy choices
Make delicious food
Take regular exercise
Take pride in the changes I had made

I have lost eight stone. It has taken me two years.

I am happy to elaborate on any of the above for further information. I am maintaining my weight well and I’m fitter than I’ve ever been.

Tips:
I need to eat lots as I am greedy, active and have a big appetite. Get to know and love the things you can eat lots of, such as fruit and veg, pulses etc. I never go hungry.

Find a form of exercise you enjoy! For me it’s hillwalking, trail running and mountain biking as I am outdoorsy. You might prefer swimming, hula-hooping, yoga - whatever. It’s hard and horrible to begin with but as your weight drops and your muscle tone improves, it becomes easier, more natural and eventually actually enjoyable.

Great advice @pictish I just need to try to follow it!!

I'd definitely wait to get something.

Bad idea. Buy the dress at the time and download the my fitness pal app now for calorie counting. It’ll give you a 5 or 6 week prediction of how much weight you’ll lose if you stick to the suggested calories and motivate you!

I know that’s going against @pictish’s advice but it worked for me. I also walked (and still do) everywhere

Wait and order nearer the time OP, please don't put that added pressure on yourself.

Wow @pictish you're really inspiring!

Bad idea, don't do it to yourself OP. There are always nice dresses around, setting yourself up to feel guilt/shame and obsessing over the fit of a dress won't provide anything positive that I can see.

Overhaul your diet and portion sizes and start with smaller goals such as couch to 5k, do things that will provide short term rewards and confidence boosts, feeling good is a much more results driven way of losing weight, and much better for mental health!