What is a hip stylish 40 year old woman wearing on a night out these days?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Help me, I haven’t been ‘out-out’ for so very long I am completely out of the loop.

I’m going to birthday party in a trendy London east-end bar and I haven’t the first clue what to wear.

Style tips anyone?

How do people cope with the loo situation in a jumpsuit? Is it just me or is that far too awkward for a night out?

My jumpsuit is strappy so just unzip and drop straps down.
I don’t find it too much of a faff.

Will be interesting to see how far into shite rainy weather we get before people ditch the thin, polyester midis and jumpsuits.
How does it translate to cold winter and gales?

I'm not a Londoner but I'm finding it hard to take seriously the idea that no-one cares what you wear there. I think it's possibly the most tribal, most territorial city I know.

Yes I think there’s a much greater diversity of ‘acceptable’ in London but you’d still be likely to get a look if you turned up an east end bar in the full ‘blow dry, skyscraper heels and minidress’ look which is the Saturday night uniform in the London suburb I live in. And vice versa.

What do you already have Op? In particular shoe/boot/trainer wise? Are you wanting something new say a dress top or a whole new outfit?

But the fact that there’s such a diversity across London means you can’t make statements like “ no one in London dresses up” because there’s such diversity. If someone says they went out and no body was dressed up then I’m interested to know where they were... because people in Kensington & Chelsea, Fulham, Notting Hill are nothing like East London at night. If you’re talking the West End I’m not even confident that the majority of people you see are from London. The only time I’d be there is for the theatre or ballet and hence not a weekly event. A lot of people go out straight from work too which is why magazines ( from when I used to read them) were very occupied with dresses to take you from the office to the cocktail bar. When I first moved down I used to hate going out without getting changed but I’m from a place where it’s very much the thing to dress up.

@Floisme I am Londoner and it's really not tribal.

Clothing, that is. Gangs and football are another matter.

Yes I definitely think the going out straight from work thing influences the more casual style in much of London.

I think this is what is bothering me - I want to dress up because a Saturday night out is a real novelty, but i’m going somewhere where people don’t really dress up.

I’m sure my average weekend attire wouldn’t raise any eyebrows (jeans, trainers and an oversized sweatshirt)but it’s just so...boring.

It may not feel tribal if you live there but, as an outsider who visits occasionally, I have to disagree.

But if you want to dress up, dress up. Nobody’s going to care!

Last time I went to an east end bar in London, it was like back to my 90s student days. Dress like a 20 yr old uni student, that's my hot tip. Yaaawwwnnnnnnn

OP find something a bit out there printwise or colourwise on Asos!

I went to a party in an East London 'trendy' bar about 10 years ago and all the women were dressed as though they had spent the day gardening and taking stuff to the dump - scruffy jeans, trainers, shapeless t shirt....I didn't get out much at the time as kids were young and i was buggered if i was wearing the toddle-wrangling uniform on a night out I wore a printed silk Chloe mini dress and silver stilettos. I was utterly out of place. I had an amazing time.

Wear what makes you happy.

The only time you're being judged is when you don't have your card ready for the tube barriers or stop at the top/bottom of an escalator.

I think it’s tricky as you can get away with the scruffy student look when you are in your 20s. It doesn’t translate well in to your 40s. Which is a shame as I used to love that look!

I also agree it’s nice to get dressed up if you don’t go out that often.

I tend to dress up one part of the outfit so I’d do a nice dress but with biker boots or cargo trousers with heels (but unfortunately I do think heels look slightly out of place in East London).

I’d do nice dress and cool trainers or boots...

The only time you're being judged is when you don't have your card ready for the tube barriers or stop at the top/bottom of an escalator

With you wheelie suitcase.

OP if you don’t go out often dress up.... it pissed me off when I went to the ballet at the Royal Opera House that some people didn’t look like they’d made much effort. It might not have been much of an event for some people but for me it was special. I wear what makes me feel good.

I'm not suggesting you're going to be judged or turned away. Just observing that, if I have a day in London where I start off in one neighbourhood and finish at another side of the city (and with nowhere particularly fancy involved) then at some point, I'm going to notice my outfit doesn't quite fit in. Whenever I visit, it's very striking to me that different neighbourhoods have different 'uniforms'. This isn't even a criticism - one of the things I like about London is that, in some ways, it's still a collection of villages, each with their own culture. But I remain at the idea that no-one notices or cares what you wear.

However none of this is particularly helpful to the op so I'll shut up now.

I suppose it depends on just how much it matters to you whether you ‘fit in’ or vaguely mimic the particular tribe you’re going to encounter.

OP you can do one of four things, I think:

Dress up, and be aware that you may look overdressed compared to a lot of other people. No problem at all with that and if you’re happy and feel good why should it matter what others might think! What matters is how you might feel. Will it bother you if you look out of step or not quite with it I’m style terms?

Dress down, and feel bored and like it’s an outfit for any other day, when actually it’s a bit of an event for you.

Dress up but bring it more in line with others by having one obvious nod to current trends (like trainers, for example).

Or, buy yourself luxe versions (or at least a level up) of your weekend wardrobe, which might help you feel as if you’ve made a bit of an effort - you’ll be wearing something new and different and you’ll have treated yourself a bit for the occasion.

I was out last weekend and it's mostly white trainers and bright coloured dresses without jackets, and small cross body bags... a few top and bottom with the same patern or plain instead of jumpsuits which is much more practical...

Well I’m either going to do 3 or 4 from @Ninkaninus’s list - i’ve ordered a couple of jumpsuits as well as having a bit of a splurge in the Cos sale.

If one of the jumpsuits works out i’ll wear that with flats and a bit of jewellery which will be dressy but not OTT and not something i’d wear for work or at home.

If not i’ll wear one of my new Cos tops with jeans and trainers or flats and at least it’ll have new-outfit novelty.

Sounds great! have you looked at Whistles for jumpsuits? They have had a good selection of the utility-style jumpsuits over the last few seasons - I got a great linen one in olive green a while back.

Pure anecdote but it may speak to some who wonder about dressing up... back in the early 1980s, in NY, I had to host a table of investment bankers for a work do uptown. I borrowed a 1950s beaded bodice frock from a chum, and bought a lovely Indian cotton stole to wear. (Still have both). It was an atrocious evening (everyone ignored me and my DH in a hired tux) so we went to CBGB in its sleazy period when we were finished with the formal for a late drink, and everyone just loved us that night, because we were SO overdressed!

We checked out the site of CBGBs on our last trip to New York. We knew it had closed down but hadn't realised it was now a men's fashion store - hip, overpriced and achingly low key