What does it mean to be elegant in the modern day?

[babysnowman]

A lot of the books or articles I’ve read on the topic seem to be a bit impractical and/or dated (wear twinsets, no brown shoes in the city etc). I think it’s something to aspire to, particularly when my looks and weight aren’t what they used to be...I remember reading that not everyone can be beautiful but everyone can be elegant! What do you think of as being elegant in the modern day, in terms of appearance but also attitude/ mannerisms etc?

Elegant, in a modern way, means dressing for what you're doing in a thoughtful considered way. While the highlight of most of my days is taking the dog for a walk and buying food/groceries, I aim to look well-groomed and put together instead of just rolled out of bed and dragged through a hedge. Minimum is clean, hair brushed, and clothes that fit, are clean (co-ordinated is a plus), and have all the buttons they came with.

If you are interested in clothes and fashion, then you probably have an idea of how you want to look and your 'tribe'.

Today, I have worn black running tights and a long-sleeve black T-shirt because I had an exercise class. I put a knee-length tube skirt over it for walking the dog (before class) and the supermarket (afterwards), and I have low-calf length flat grey boots that are getting old but comfortable to walk in the country, if I avoid puddle-splashing. When I got chilly, I put a charcoal V neck jumper on. As it was p*ssing down, a waterproof jacket went over the top for outdoors. No fashion points but definitely not an ensemble I would have been ashamed of, no matter who I met.

I think it's partly about dressing appropriately for your occasion. Maybe thinking about how you put your outfits together to best flatter your good points and disguise the bits you're not so keen on and, also for me, not being overly revealing. Achieving balance between pattern and plain, or light and dark colours, plain and textured fabrics, or loose and closer fitting things, for example. Accessorising nicely, being well groomed. I guess it's about taking care of your appearance, clothing and footwear. I've rambled a bit, caring about yourself and showing it. Hope that makes some sense!

Interesting question.

I think differently. I think it is something 'you have'. I can think of 2 people I know, in particular, that I would instantly describe as 'elegant', and they have a certain 'je ne sais quoi' that just sets them apart. I have seen both of them dressed for weddings and also dressed for a hike, and there is more of an 'air' than anything else, that they just have. Yes, it includes hair always washed and brushed and nicely cut, but it is something more than that.

I think elegance encompasses behaviour as well as appearance.

Minimum is clean, hair brushed You clearly don't have curly hair! 😂

In my opinion:
Walking tall - straight back and shoulders not slouched, looking ahead and not down.
Usually, tall, slim, "willowy" people can appear elegant more easily with minimum effort than someone who is shorter with a more rounded frame. However, dressing to flatter you whatever your figure can definitely give you more elegance. As can knowing what colours/styles suit you. Traditionally classic styles are more elegant dresses and a small heel as opposed to joggers and trainers. Good quality accessories - minimal jewellery not loads of bright chunky beads. Styled hair even a simple style and a little makeup.

I remember reading that not everyone can be beautiful but everyone can be elegant!

I actually think it's quite hard to be elegant & you can be beautiful but not elegant. I agree with other posters that it's a certain something & someone who is elegant will look elegant when cleaning etc.

Interesting question. I agree that elegance is a state of being more than what you wear (although it encompasses that). Audrey Hepburn is elegant and so is Joanna Lumley - it’s about being simple but neat , good grooming, neat hair, being dressed for the moment as appropriate. It also means being humble, having grace, speaking well, being genuine and caring.

Not everyone can be beautiful, elegant or stylish. I agree that elegance is about classy behaviour as much as it is about clothing. But I also think people use it sometimes to describe someone 'older' that is dressed up (thinking about how I'm now sometimes called elegant!).

@soggypizza, I do have curly hair, and now it's grey and frizzy too. So "brushed" in my terms means I've used a tangleteaser in the shower once this week and scrunched product into wet hair daily.

Thanks for the responses so far. I agree that some people just have an elegant 'presence', but are there any particular behaviours they exhibit? For example, someone I have in mind is always very slow and deliberate in everything she does, making even simple tasks (making a cup of tea!) look delicate and graceful.

I think posture and good bone structure helps. But equally, dressing appropriately. For example where I live is very yachtie/casual. If I wore a lot of what is described as classy or fashionable on here I would look quite out if place or try hard. That's not particularly 'elegant'.

I aim for clean clothes that fit, and allow for easy movement. In colours that suit me.

Which is in part why I don't wear heels. Yes, they can make you look very elegant, but I don't feel elegant when I can't walk comfortably, easily and quietly. Luckily I'm tall so can do without.

To me elegance is being comfortable in your skin; walking tall and straight, knowing which clothes compliment your body, being confident, avoiding anything fussy or OTT, dressing for the occasion, clean hair/nails.

When a teenager I wore what was in fashion, not everything suited me and I felt uncomfortable and self conscious particularly when in short skirts.

Now I refuse to buy or wear anything that I need to pull up or down or adjust in any way. I dress for the occasion and always ensure my hair and make up are done.

Famous women who I believe are elegant:
Duchess of Cornwall
Natalie Portman
Dorothy Dandridge
Charlize Theron
Naomie Harris
Gemma Arteton
Phylicia Rashad
Emily Blunt
Diahann Carroll
Julia Roberts
Kerry Washington
Michelle Obama

I think elegance doesn't have to be stylish or fashionable it is definitely the way you carry yourself, confidence and outfits that flatter you and enhance your best features. I have come across some classic clothing and jewellery sites recently that don't jump on the trend wagon instantly.
www.joythestore.com/womenswear/clothing/dresses
www.demiandco.com/search?type=product&q=hoops*

When I think of elegance, I think first of Sofia Coppola, Jane Birkin, Charlotte Rampling. It's partly about the way they dress but also, I fear, a lot to do with posture and cheekbones.

I think it's about dignity too.

someone I have in mind is always very slow and deliberate in everything she does, making even simple tasks (making a cup of tea!) look delicate and graceful.

Yes. Something to do with being calm and measured.
Also a lot to do with confidence and I think this is reflected in clothing, hair and accessories - elegant people don't wear something because "it is this year's fashion", they wear it because it suits them and makes them look classy.

@BackforGood this is why I'm not elegant as I'm not calm and serene! Im always rushing and herding 3 kids!

The most elegant woman I know dresses beautifully, with an eye to what suits her. Usually midi or maxi dresses and skirts, often with low heels though sometimes flats, lovely haircut. It's a very feminine look, not fashionable but stylish and "expensive", to quote the MN threads. She is also extremely poised, unruffled, and quietly confident, with great posture and an excellent figure (tall and slim). Nothing phases her.

However, I also have to say that she is upper-middle-class and very well-off. These things definitely help. Personality and good taste are a huge part of it, but it's pretty difficult to achieve elegance if you spend your life rushing around like a blue-arsed fly just trying to cover the basics, permanently exhausted and stressed.

I always associate elegance with Mary Berry's generation.

I thought Meghan Markle looked elegant in jeans and a white shirt. I think Duchess of Cornwall often looks prim rather than elegant...

•Wearing fresh, properly fitting clothes

•Not wearing leggings - even under dresses

•Not wearing faux ripped jeans

•Avoiding too much jewellery

•Wearing natural fabrics like wool, cotton etc

•Wearing make up in a natural way

•Having a classic hairstyle. No overly straightened hair or “balayage”

•Never having fake brows - apart from the judicious use of lightish pencil

•Not wearing overpowering scent.

•Having decent posture

•Wearing coats in classic colours like camel. Oh and tweed. Cos is good for these.

•Not grazing or smoking as you walk!

•Avoiding head to toe Joules or similar

•Wearing a string of pearls! They look great with plain cotton

That’ll do for now!

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Prim and elegant are quite close, actually.

Prim and elegant are quite close, actually Prim is like elegance devoid of spirit.

Jean Muir looked prim and elegant. But never “devoid of spirit”.