What does it mean to be elegant in the modern day?

[babysnowman]

A lot of the books or articles I’ve read on the topic seem to be a bit impractical and/or dated (wear twinsets, no brown shoes in the city etc). I think it’s something to aspire to, particularly when my looks and weight aren’t what they used to be...I remember reading that not everyone can be beautiful but everyone can be elegant! What do you think of as being elegant in the modern day, in terms of appearance but also attitude/ mannerisms etc?

I don't think elegance is clothes-specific - you can't say no Birkenstocks or no leggings, you also can't say tweed and pearls add elegance. It's about how you wear the clothes - someone who can walk as if they're naked whatever they're wearing will look elegant. It's about never wearing clothes with more personality than you have. It's about wearing clothes that fit - which doesn't always mean fitted.

I read a quote once that you should wear a fur coat as if it were cloth, and a cloth coat as if it were fur. Obviously don't wear fur, but I think the sentiment applies - the dressier you are the less conscious you should be of it.

@soggypizza

I very much hope the majority of posters would be aware I was referring to surgery OTHER than the reconstructive one she has had. Good grief.

I read a quote once that you should wear a fur coat as if it were cloth, and a cloth coat as if it were fur. Obviously don't wear fur, but I think the sentiment applies - the dressier you are the less conscious you should be of it.

I like that.

I only know one elegant person, she's in her 50's - in a muddy park with her hair underneath a baseball cap and no make up and full lycra leggings, trainers and often covered in mud - she runs like a racehorse, she moves in such a beautiful way it's hard to take your eyes off her, I've never known anyone to run with so much elegance. No surprise you'd hardly recognise her with her normal clothes on but despite the massive change in style - she still looks like a goddess in jeans and a shirt.

Good grief. 😂

Weird.

Well in the photo you posted she looks thinner, her lips have thinned with age & potentially some work to the tip of her nose, hardly masses of surgery.
Noses are a weird one, my nose definitely looked more bulbous as a teen but has thinned with age except when i'm pregnant & it seems to swell as do my lips, weird!

I think elegance is in the way a person carries themselves, posture is really important. It’s nothing to do with clothes, a person could be wearing amazing clothes but if they shuffle around, shoulders hunched they’d never be elegant.

The word elan isn’t often used now is it? I’d like to have elan, or maybe panache 😀

Well, I'm in a cacoon dress and leggings today. Have just rolled off the sofa having grabbed an hour's nap while dgs slept. Elegant no, but will try to be something like it when we go to the theatre tonight.

I'm one who tries but am not naturally so.
I agree white shirt, jeans and minimal jewellery is a great elegant look if it works for you. Sadly, I'm not a true elegant.

Tall and slender = elegant
Short and dumpy = not so much

Why do so many people aspire to be elegant anyway?
Plain clothes, minimal jewellery - what's wrong with a bit of colour and sparkle?

@LuckyLou7 I think that's a fair question. In my head I equate elegance (and the associated poise/grace/calmness etc) with taking care of yourself and having your stuff together. I can't imagine any of the people mentioned chowing down on a packet of monster munch because they forgot to defrost something for dinner 😂. That's just the connotation I make though, obviously looking after yourself isn't something that only elegant people do!!

@luckylou7 I’m not sure people do aspire to elegance - I recognise it, I think but it’s not something I want - a bit like beauty- I look interesting not beautiful and I’m content with that. I guess we all have a set of rules in our head about what suits us,

To me, it's thinness (which I don't have, btw) and good posture (ditto). Sorry. But I don't think it's important, really. I will never be elegant but I can aspire to be stylish, to wear what suits my body shape, and to ignore trends that look silly on me.

I used to work with a woman who dressed very expensively, was upper-middle-class, spent her weekends hanging out at hunt balls and the like, etc etc. She had a great figure. But her hair was scruffy and she had dreadful posture, so she never looked "elegant". You have to be able to carry yourself and have grace of movement if that's what you're aspiring to.

No colours, no jewellery? Sounds a bit shit. I wouldn't be caught dead in beige or grey.

I actually think Prue Leith is quite elegant and she wears bright colours and chunky jewellery.

Fluidity of movement.

Knowing yourself well and striking the the right balance of accepting yourself and gradually, consistently working on the aspects of yourself you found out that you were uncomfortable with when you discovered them about yourself (in terms of both personality and physical appearance).

Being respectful and considerate of others- this will include buying clothes that are as ethically made as you can reasonably afford as this is considerate to those who produce your clothes.

Taking the time to do things properly without straying into perfectionism.

Knowing what suits you, but evolving that overtime, paying heed to fashion but not being a slave to it.

A certain indomitability, that never comes close to hauteur.

Knowing when to stop, including knowing your own limits.

Fluid movement is key to elegance. My now 71 yo Pilates teacher is elegant, largely because she moves economically. She never over cooks her movement and it is always the minimum effort required. She also sings in several choirs and is fervently vocal that you need to keep the back/spine side of your neck long but your chin down for proper airflow. I don't always like her choice of workout wear, but she is definitely super elegant wearing it.

I posted an outfit recently and it was resoundingly described as ‘elegant’. So I’m going to go with understated and simple.

Birkenstocks are never ever elegant
I went to an event today and a woman car I’m wearing tan coloured wide legged trousers and white Birkenstock’s. She was of East Asian heritage with beautiful caramel coloured skin, and she looked effortlessly elegant.

sheshoots can we see the outfit please?!

My most elegant friends I have noticed seem to have less outfits - they wear the same thing more often but look incredible every time. They are all tall and willowy too. Cowbags. And I agree about never rushing, all their actions are very deliberate and confident.

Some mums at school used to tell me I look always elegant, one lady used to say it almost as an accusation “we’re all wearing rain jackets and there you are again, looking elegant for the school run”

I wear jeans, trainers, leggings etc like anyone else. Only thing different was my love for long belted wool coats. I love those, and apparently being 6ft and wearing those kind of coats was all it took to be deemed “elegant” in our village

Personally I don’t think I am elegant at all, but Have also been called aloof (which i am not, but am a daydreamer and can be lost in thought)

So belted camel coat, aloofness and height seemed to work for me

Elegance has never even been my objective, i just try to look non-scruffy!

@sheshootssheimplores yes I'd love to see the outfit too!