What does it mean to be elegant in the modern day?

[babysnowman]

A lot of the books or articles I’ve read on the topic seem to be a bit impractical and/or dated (wear twinsets, no brown shoes in the city etc). I think it’s something to aspire to, particularly when my looks and weight aren’t what they used to be...I remember reading that not everyone can be beautiful but everyone can be elegant! What do you think of as being elegant in the modern day, in terms of appearance but also attitude/ mannerisms etc?

Here is one very elegant image:

And another:

I read something recently about the middle-aged quest for elegance that really amused me:

There was that moment of exquisite relief when you found COS and finally felt as if you discovered the secret of dress success. A work uniform. You embraced pleats and asymmetry and shirts attached to jumpers all in a palette of grey, white, green and navy. Then you looked around and everyone else had got the COS memo. Suddenly we were all looking like a terrifying army of lady architects.

I looked at the COS site after seeing it mentioned in Style&Beauty, and it puzzled me really- such a lot of polyester and even Nylon. It didn't strike me as especially practical for roaring hot flushes.

@NoTheresa I don't think elegance when I look at those photos especially the first one, second one she has very severe, almost stage make up!

Asymmetrical skirts are not elegant because they will date.

Pleated skirts are vile.

Everything dates - it’s not always a bad thing.

@BitOfFun I quite like the idea of 'lady architect style' 😂

I think Duchess of Cornwall often looks prim rather than elegant...

I agree & don't see prom & elegant as the same thing.

I think Kristin Scott Thomas is elegant & Angelina Jolie has some v.elegant red carpet looks

I work with an elegant woman who does not rush for anything. She always looks together and unphased by what is going on around her. She is middle classed, well educated and extremely confident

I think it is something you just have. I don't btw.

It’s really subjective isn’t it though?

Angelina jolie, in my opinion skirts on the wrong side of trashy for red carpet events...there’s just something “too much” about her, I can’t explain.

But there was a shot of her ages ago when she was adopting one of her children, she was wearing light chinos and a white shirt and it’s always stuck with me as the look was so elegant and effortless.

I think elegance comes from a confidence in wearing the right thing at the right time and behaving the right way without thinking about it - if you’re worried about falling out of your top, or flashing your knickers, or wobbling on your heels or you’re wearing the most expensive outfit you own so you’re worried about dropping something down you or ripping it or anything like that - you won’t be elegant because all of that shows in your expression and behaviour.

trashy, really? I think AJ has great red carpet style

I think that Angelina Jolie looks incredibly elegant. Basically I think if you can pull off a white collared shirt and a pair of jeans and look fabulous - you've got it.

NoThomas, that's Jean Muir, isn't it?

@eeksville I said it was subjective!

The black looks lovely, although the green plastic looking earrings are questionable, the split on the middle one is far to high (in my opinion) for genuine elegance and the height of the collar (front of the dress?!) combined with the tightness of the bodice on the last image looks uncomfortable...again, in my opinion, not elegant.

Elegance is subjective, that’s why no one can say wear this and that and you’ll look elegant.

i do think, to go back to OPs point, that modern elegance probably has a lot more to do with being comfortable in your own skin and the clothes you’re in than it has at any point in the past.

Elegance is understated, it's subtle not brash.

I remember as a young child I asked my mother why she didn't wear blue eyeshadow and wear boob tubes and paint her nails bright red and she shuddered and said she avoided looking cheap. Modest and dignified always win.

I know you said subjective but I think trashy is quite a leap. I see elegance because of the ways she carries herself, seems comfortable with herself & wears the clothes as opposed to just the dresses themselves.

It's very interesting how people see things so differently though, you see plastic earrings, I see gobstopper emeralds that are amazing.

That's why everyone should dress how they like & what they feel comfortable in.

I agree everyone should dress how they like and feel comfortable in - I think that’s the secret, if you’re comfortable then you’re confident and no one sees your clothes, they just see you.

We’ll have to agree to disagree about Angelinas red carpet looks - i feel like the last dress is definitely straying into the territory of the dress wearing her rather than she’s wearing it.

The outfits are always just a little to “much” ( I actually think what I’m saying at this point is I think elegant clothing is bland and forgettable!)

And gobstopper jewels are never elegant...although most of the royal family would seem to disagree so who’s right there 😄😄

I also think it's OK not to be elegant.

I'm not, and will never be, but I've made my peace with it.

I have very curly hair, which is generally some shade of pink/purple, I'm overweight and I have a sad addiction to Irregular choice shoes (I know mumsnet hates them, but I LOVE them).

I have my own style that I'm very happy with, but nobody will ever call me elegant. Whereas glamorous - oh yes I aspire to glamour 😉

Angelina has had masses of surgery. That is a very inelegant thing to have.

Good posture and you glide
... dont over jesture with your hands, softly spoken, dress conservatively in muted colours classic cuts not trends.

I also think its something you either have or dont because its 70% attitude and mannerism

Thin.

Anyway, going by this thread, elegance is both boring and prim.

Angelina has had masses of surgery

Has she? like Kylie Jenner full face transformation? I'm sure like most celebrities AJ has been refined & partakes in anti aging treatments (botox & fillers) however to me she still looks structurally very similar to how she was as a kid & in her 20s.