For heaven’s sake....I’m old!

[MissKittyBeaudelais]

Ok. So all of a sudden, I look old. My eye sight is going so, I thought I was doing ok. When I leave the house in the morning I think I look ok. However, I’ve recently had a few impromptu photos taken outside, in broad daylight and Jesus...I look terrible.

I’m 57 so, I KNOW it’s only a matter of time but even so, my usual facebases are looking heavy and showing wrinkles I didn’t know I’d earned.

I’ve got Chanel Les Beiges and Laura Mercier Oil Free TM. So, do I just except it’s OVER and start to disappear from public life OR... is there anything I’m missing?

I’m 35 and always feel like shit catching sight of myself unexpectedly or seeing photos. This has been going on for at least the last 10 years. It’s got nothing to do with your actual face/figure, it’s insecurity talking. Honestly.

You’re really pretty and I would never think you were 57!

@EatenByDinosaurs could you explain a bit more about your skincare routine? I've been trying to look after my skin for the past year or so by following random skincare advice on here, and I don't feel like anything has improved. It's so depressing. What was your skin like before and how have you achieved flawlessness?

@EatenByDinosaurs...please? Does it help you’re not living in the dreary uk?

Yes of course @pearlkent .

My skin was dry, but with fairly frequent breakouts, haggard and knackered looking with some wrinkles. Just peachy really.

I've done two different routines, one without retin-A which made my skin flawless, and then I started retin-A which took it to a whole new level of flawless.

So, prior to retin-A:
Mornings -

double cleanse with African Black Mud Soap (an all natural one from the local health food store)
tone with either pure rosewater (from the culinary aisle) or wipe a cooled green tea bag over my face. V glam here
apply facial oil (Measurable Difference Jasmine Oil)
apply hyaluronic acid (The Inkey List)
apply eye cream (I use different ones, haven't found one I love yet, they're all just OK)
apply moisturiser (Ponds Clarant B3, which is v rich in niacinamide)
apply sunscreen (Canmake Mermaid Gel)
wait for sunscreen to absorb and then apply makeup if I'm wearing it that day

Evenings -

double cleanse as above
tone with The Inkey List Glycolic Acid every other day, and rosewater otherwise
facial oil as above
hyaluronic acid as above
eye cream as above
moisturiser as above
apply a thin layer of Vaseline all over my face and neck (to be washed off during double cleansing in the morning.

After using this routine for a couple of weeks I noticed such an amazing difference, and in a couple of months my skin was flawless and I was stunned. I looked fresh faced and glowing all the time. I do think it was down really to the Vaseline, glycolic and facial oil. Those were the main difference makers really, they other steps just suped them up, iyswim.

Then I decided to hit the retinoid band wagon as I've watched the difference its made to my friends and its a whole new level of flawless. I used to think people raving about it was a bit hyped up but it really isn't.
My skin now has a lot from within sort of glow and is always flawless, I never get spots, my wrinkles have smoothed out castle and my skin is now completely even toned and glowy.

Plus it stays like that all day, I can do a workout where the sweat is running into my eyes, and ten minutes layer my skin is back to perfect and glowy again. Its surreal really.

I use prescription strength retin-A (Tretinoin 0.025%) as I decided not to try over the counter retinoids first as I thought I'd hit the strong stuff asap, but I build it up carefully.
I started with twice a week during my nighttime routine, applying it over a very thin layer of my Ponds moisturiser (after cleansing), then leaving it an hour before applying my facial oil, hyaluronic, moisturiser again and Vaseline.
Now I use it ever other night, and I'm now about to start introducing the glycolic acid toner again, I stopped when I started the retin-A as I didn't want to overload my skin.

Haha no MissKitty it doesn't help . Try keeping skin hydrated and glowy in Arizona, not an easy take!

@MissKittyBeaudelais that mature lady as you put it is Bo Derek! She’s beautiful!

I absolutely agree with Soola about sunglasses too, a nice big pair which cover all of the eye socket area.

Also, something I've come to realise is that as you older, the you only get out what you put in becomes more and more true.
My skincare, for example, reads like a time consuming list, but in reality takes me under ten minutes, and the consistent effort pays huge dividends.
Its no use starting something and then stopping before it even has a chance to work, much like diet and exercise skincare only works with commitment and consistent effort.

I live in hope for a lot of years that I could bend reality for this not to be the case, but as I'm not Dr Strange my efforts were in vain

@Soola...the photo came up on a search if fringes for women over 50. Makes sense how it looks so amazing in the “model” then 😁

@EatenByDinosaurs...how do you get high strength retinol? Is it more widely available in the US? I don’t envy you that Arizona climate 😐 Am definitely going to invest in a nice pair of BIG sunglasses. I do wear them, as I’m outside such a lot but I don’t think they cover that much. Do you mind my asking your age? I definitely “got away with it” up to 55. Then, BAM everything started to sag.

Op you look amazing and have nothing to worry about. You look like a glamorous movie star.

@MissKittyBeaudelais yes, it is easier to get in the US, I just asked my Doctor for a prescription.
If you're in the UK you can either order it online from a Spanish or Portuguese pharmacy (called Retrides, or Retirides can't remember the spelling) or there are places you can pay I think £20 ish permonth and they'll write you a prescription and ship it to you.
Or if you or anyone you know is headed to Spain or Portugal you can ask them to pick some up for you as its available over the counter there.

There was a thread recently about where UK folks get their retin-A, I'll see if I can find and link it.

Start with 0.025%, its the recommended strength for anti-ageing, there are higher strengths but they are primarily used for curing acne. You can always work up to a higher strength if you want to.

One other thing, sounds obvious but didn't occur to me at first.
The over the counter retinoids you can buy (The Ordinary etc) are much, much weaker than the prescription strength ones.
So don't try one of the Ordinary 1% ones and move straight to say 0.05% or 0.01% prescription strength - your face would be more Joker from Batman rather than glowing!

Always start with the 0.025% prescription strength, its the weakest but according to my dermatologist and my doctor, over time it doesn't have any significant disadvantages over one of the higher strengths.
They all end up with roughly the same results for anti-ageing, the higher strength ones get you there faster, but with the dry, flaky dinosaur's butt skin in the process .

I can't find the thread, it is early here though and I'm very bleary, I think a lot of people ordered it from Pharmacy Geoff? If you search you'll probably have better luck than me!
I don't mind, but my age would be too outing along with some of my previous posts, old enough that I had anti-ageing and sagging concerns though, and old enough that social media is a mystery to me , and I'm happy for it to remain that way.

All in all I do love Arizona, I'd miss the smell of the desert, and I've lived in the US all of my adult life. We were supposed to be moving to a less sunny part of the US, but we decided to stay here instead

I think it's worth trying to figure out what it is you want to achieve. When I did this, I realised it wasn't so much the face changes that bothered me. I won't pretend I like the sagging and the jowls but I'm not prepared to go beyond what I consider a sensible skincare routine (moisturise, sunscreen, clean off, eat well) just to try and pass for 55 rather than 62. Plus plus these changes are never ending and come at you from all directions and I don't want to get drawn into a battle I'm never going to win. Plus I have sensitive skin, which reminds me, be very careful about trying a load of new products at once - I made a big mistake there.

I've always been more into clothes than skincare so I put my energies into figuring out how to dress an ageing body, in keeping in reasonable physical shape and in seeking to look modern as opposed to young. To use that tired cliche, I would always choose body over face. I find it more fun. Of course you may not but I think it's worth having the conversation with yourself.

@Floisme for me, it’s not about knocking years off. My age is what I am. It’s about not looking cross or worn out when actually, I’m feeling just fine thank you 😊. I cringe when someone says “oh Kitty, you look tired today” or I have a cross face in a photo when in reality, it’s just “ageing”.

I will go easy with these new products but I think The Ordinary 2% Retinoid stuff will be quite mild as @EatenByDinosaurs said.

My hairdresser can’t fit me in for a couple of weeks so, will have to wait for the hair do but, definitely intend to go lighter. I found a photo of my hair very highlighted and in a longish bob yesterday. It perfectly illustrates how much “lift” can come from shorter lighter hair. I shall take the photo with me to the appointment so she can see exactly what I’m after. TBH, I’d forgotten I’d ever been that blonde.

See I don't care if I look cross. In fact I think it's good fun. And I have never, in my whole life heard a man say he was worried about it.

That’s true @Floisme. But unfairly, men are judged less harshly on wrinkles and ageing.

MissKittyBeaudelais can we see said photo of your blonder hair please (Love a hair photo)?

Yes we are judged more harshly, MissKitty and we can't do much about that, but what I think we can control is how we respond.

Anyway I don't want to derail your thread. You asked how I found my foundation problem - what happened was that I could see my make up wasn't working any more but couldn't for the life of me work out why. I didn't want to go to a make up consultant because I knew they'd just try and sell me more stuff (as is their job). So I went cold turkey and had a bare faced January, instead of a dry one. When I resumed, I re-introduced one product at a time and took photos of each stage and it was just obvious straight away that it was my foundation. It was covering my skin like a layer of emulsion and blanking all the life out of my face. It was Bobby Brown Skin Foundation so not a cheapie from a market stall and I'd been really happy when I discovered it. But now I look better without.

If I was going to take more action over my face I would definitely start with exercises. I know little about them the logic makes sense to me as my biggest issue is sagging. Plus as Milly says, they're free and the radio silence about them from the skincare industry is quite revealing I think.

@Milliy

This was 2012 so, a good while ago. I guess I was 50. This shows the big difference for me in 50 to 57. I can’t remember why I went darker with lowlights but my guess is, I probably damaged my hair enough to not be able to get a comb through it!

Short hair is 49. Longer is 50. I think the difference in my face between then and now is plumpness which is bloody ironic considering I weight more now 😁. I guess, it’s lack of collagen and a fucking huuuge amount of stress in the past 6 or 7 years. My advice to my younger self? Concentrate on de-stressing and wear a wide brimmed hat and glasses! 😉

@Floisme, I’ve just found a face yoga lady on YouTube with a lovely calming voice so am going to give her a go! Also, that “find the fault” method sounds excellent. I will try that and as I add in my makeup, take sequential photos. That way I should be able to look and see when the “problem” come in 😊. Thanks!

I have an idea. This is just something I hat might help?
Have you thought about making your eyebrows thicker?
I think looking younger is a bit about putting back what was previously there!
We all picked and over plucked at our eyebrows in the 90’s didn’t we! Now that evidence is making us look older than we really do / dating us really.
I think a good eyelash serum to make them pop back / and thicker eyebrows really brings youth back.
I think you still look very youthful... it won’t tell much.
Go and see an eyebrow/ eyelash specialist...

*take much.

To elaborate.
Bringing the eyebrows down is what will actually help.
A bronzing contour brush to use round your jawline is helpful if you have that as a concern?
Make it flat and then sculpt it a bit!

Had an hour to kill today waiting for DS so mooched iparound Boots. Tried on some blond mascara brow stuff. The SA put it on for me and some bronzer which I have to say, perked my pallor right up! The brow mascara I thought too pale/ashy for me but she said it’d look right. It did. I think a makeover is at hand 😎

Am thinking of hiding all foundations and just going with moisturiser and bronzer for a bit.

That’s really great!
I’m sure you’ll be feeling a little better about yourself very soon! :)
Those little brow mascaras are excellent!

The hydra ( something) black tube from No7 is a really excellent foundation!

Another one recommending the Boots No 7 Hydra Luminous foundation ( in black tube). I’m older than you OP and my super vigilant DD asked what I had used that made my skin look “ so dewy “?