What motivates you to make an effort with your appearance?

[ChangesAt30]

I've recently realised that over the last few years I've made less and less effort with my appearance.

Granted I work FT, and have a young DD, but DH does his fair share and I could make the time to spend on myself but I'm just so lazy with it.

I'm guessing there's various reasons why you'll make an effort - because you know you feel better for it? Maybe work requires you to look polished? Maybe you do it more for your OH?

Any quick tips for taking care of my overall appearance would be appreciated too I've just plucked my brows, took the old polish off my toenails and got rid of the dead skin off my feet, and I do feel better for it!

I used to always manage the basics, but about 10 years ago I looked through photo albums of my mum in the 50's. She didn't have money but she looked amazing. That was my motivation.

Personal pride, a degree of vanity and self esteem.

I also have a great love for beauty products, cosmetics, clothes and accesdories etc, so I enjoy making the most of my appearance.

bluebluezoo

That’s not my opinion.
Zoflorabore says that for her it’s a sign her MH is slipping.

I absolutely love my getting ready process. I do it entirely for me, I love to do a face or hair mask and sort my feet out. I feel more calm and prepared to get on with my day if I feel presentable and prepped bodywise! I don't spend ages, about 20 minutes for body shower and make up, but I am naturally a very girly girl so have always been like this.

Can I just add, when I don't bother with make up or skin care or am not interested in reading or researching it it can either mean I'm feeling very down/depressed and if I go TOO much the other way, became obsessed with buying stuff it can mean the same. If I'm feeling low I'm not interested or am insanely interested and feel that I need everything regardless of wether I can afford it then I know I'm feeling fat and ugly and very negative about myself.

Because when I make an effort, I smile every time I see my face/outfit in the mirror. Dressing nicely uplifts me.

Because when I wear beautiful clothes in amazing fabrics, it makes me feel like I am wearing art.

Because it is how I present myself professionally: I have a confident sense of style and it's part of my industry persona now.

And, if I am being honest, having been a frizzy, gawky, spotty teenager, I like how women and men react to me now I am well-groomed and considered beautiful/stylish/elegant. Definitely makes life easier in a number of ways.

Clothes aren't an effort for me. They give me huge enjoyment and satisfaction.

I'm more conflicted about make up and grooming. I don't particularly enjoy any of it and find some of it quite tedious. (That's not intended as a value judgement - I'm sure some of you would be bored senseless by by my current quest for the perfect trousers.) But on the hand I'm inordinately vain so here we are.

I do it for genuine reasons of "self care". Life overwhelmed me for over a decade (the usual "womens work" of caring for elderly parents and family) and actually caring for myself was, frankly, beyond me. I did not give a toss that I looked like shit. I felt like shit, so it came as no surprise that I didn't give a stuff.
Now things have changed and I'm putting myself first after a long time at the end of the line. I'm pampering myself with good nutrition, an exercise routine that I'm really enjoying and caring for my skin properly, rather than just a wash with soap and water. The whole process of rediscovering who I actually am has been emotional and revealing. I've remembered the teenager who loved brightly coloured nail polishes and eyeshadows, and the twenty-something who had fun with clothes and her hair. I'm not reliving my youth (at 51, fat chance, quite literally) but I am starting to feel like myself again, not just a fat old bag with lines, a stress belly and the weight of the world on her shoulders.

There's definitely something very therapeutic about taking care of yourself.

I do it because makeup completely changes my appearance which boosts my confidence. I go from having dark circles & red patchy skin / visible veins to an even complexion & dewy skin. I don’t wear loads just foundation, concealer, blusher & mascara BUT I use expensive products which work perfectly on me. It’s taken me a while but I now know what works - mostly MAC surprisingly. If I could add anything it would be lash extensions but I can’t afford those atm.

I haven’t spent enough time & effort on my skincare regime though. I’ve used wipes, cheap moisturiser, slept in my makeup etc. Being pregnant has given me dry skin so I’ve spent more time & money on this now. I use a Clinique moisturiser & after using it for just one day under my makeup I received so many compliments about my “glowing” skin. It made me realise that side of my beauty regime is important too.

I'm just vain. I like looking nice. I like turning heads. I like it when other women give me admiring looks. I get a kick out of men fancying me. Because the rest of my life is very difficult and demanding, it's the one joy I have and the one thing I do that is complete,y selfish

It gives me confidence. I apply makeup most days, look after my hair and try to put together nice outfits. A busy life often means I don't keep on top of shaving, nail care, moisturising etc but when I spend an hour to do this, I feel really good.

A busy life often means I don't keep on top of shaving, nail care, moisturising etc but when I spend an hour to do this, I feel really good

Why? Genuinely interested.

I feel absolutely no different stepping out the shower clean and hair washed than I do after an hour of hair removal, nails etc.

I feel no different with shaved legs than I do with hairy. Still me. Not magically more attractive, not cleaner, not more female.

I don’t think I look any nicer with make up than without. Subjectively IMO most women look absolutely fine without. I never see anyone in the gym and think bloody hell you could do with some lipstick.

Do you also ask women why they like cats or gardening or baking cupcakes? Genuinely interested.

Yes, if it comes up in conversation and it’s not something I do often.

I have been asked many times by cat haters why I like cats

Cupcakes I would have thought fairly obvious, eating cake!

Because I’ve just hit 40 and I suddenly look older. My last child finished me off.

Ok fair point about cakes.
But would you go onto, lets' say a gardening thread (another topic in which you have no interest) and ask why they do it tell them how nobody really needs a garden? Or would you just accept that we all like different things?

As it happens I'm conflicted about make up myself, as I posted above. But I know other women like it and I'm interested in how often they get quizzed by disapproving sounding posters

Soz - or another topic in which you have no interest.

I have twin toddlers with additional needs and haven’t spent a second thinking about myself or my appearance for a long time. I was feeling really low and my self esteem was in the toilet. I decided that if I try making a bit more of an effort I might feel better about myself. So far it’s working - just taking better care of my skin and hair, tidying up my eyebrows, wearing make up when I go out. I’ve bought new bras that fit which has changed how my clothes look. I do feel better.

No I’d ask why they like it, and what they get out of it. Maybe I’m missing something..

To use your gardening example. I don’t garden. Not something I’ve ever been inclined to do. If I met someone who enjoyed it though I’d be interested, do they do it as a general activity? Do they grow fruit/veg? Use it to attract bees and insects? Generally is there something about it I haven’t thought of.

Same with leg shaving. If I knew what made people feel “really good” doing so, are we doing things differently, have I missed something, do they have different social pressures which means they are happier conforming to their peers?

Not disapproving, i like to know others thought processes. Yes people like different things, but does socialisation affect it...

I used to be a very creative person, I don’t have times for Hobies or crafts anymore so being creative in the way I dress fiññs that need.

Not sure what you mean by an effort, I dont do make up because I dont see the point. I dont do nail varnish, never blow dried my hair but always look presentable, I do get my eyebrows threaded and moisturise and use SPF daily, I do it for myself

It’s definitely socialisation. I’ve been programmed to feel more confident when I am well groomed and dressed / presented to look more attractive. I am not trying to attract anyone. I know it’s socialisation.

If I met someone who enjoyed it though I’d be interested,
If you met someone, ok. But have you ever wandered on to a gardening thread specifically to ask them why they like it and what their thought processes are, and to tell them you're not interested in it?

I'm asking because it happens pretty regularly on here so in a way you're unlucky that I've happened to pick on you, and apologies for putting you on the spot. But I'm curious as to why some people take the trouble to post on a thread about a subject that doesn't hold any interest for them