What motivates you to make an effort with your appearance?

[ChangesAt30]

I've recently realised that over the last few years I've made less and less effort with my appearance.

Granted I work FT, and have a young DD, but DH does his fair share and I could make the time to spend on myself but I'm just so lazy with it.

I'm guessing there's various reasons why you'll make an effort - because you know you feel better for it? Maybe work requires you to look polished? Maybe you do it more for your OH?

Any quick tips for taking care of my overall appearance would be appreciated too I've just plucked my brows, took the old polish off my toenails and got rid of the dead skin off my feet, and I do feel better for it!

I've recently shaved all my hair off. It was dry, brittle and over bleached so I thought, fuck it, now or never!

Now I don't have hair to rely on, I make more of an effort to look feminine with my clothes and make up and I definitely look more polished.

7Days - ooooh which celebrity??

Dame - god me too - 47 now and the process is getting more complex. I 'm going away this week and am genuinely worried about how many lotions and pieces of kit I will have to pack - Dermawand, face shaver, tooth whitening kit, microneedling roller, sheet masks, my perfect facial plus all my serums and creams. Plus all my supplements and collagen powder. Feel like I'm going to need a "beauty" suitcase!!! Think I'll have to leave my LED mask at home! Luckilly all this effort with skincare means I wear much less make up these days but it's still a lot compared to the average woman.
For me it's all about confidence and having a good day as opposed to a bad one. I can look very bad without all this effort - not naturally beautiful and have had bad skin for most of my life (turned a major corner now thanks to diet, supplements and soolantra) so I always feel like I'm the ugly duckling. My beauty routine makes me calm and happy. Definitely don't do it for DH - he sees me at my absolute worst most days and doesn't give a hoot.

Annelivesgilbert - your DH sounds lovely.

I remember as a 20 year old who was always well dressed and who wore makeup everyday some colleagues telling me that I wouldn't be able to do it when I had a child. Made me determined not to prove them right.
Then read an article that said women tend to let themselves go at 47 and this strengthened me determination to keep going!
I am 51 now and people say I look much younger. I watch what I eat, have my hair done every 8 weeks, have a good skin care routine, paint my nails and use makeup most days and always at work! It helps my self esteem and means I am happy in my own skin.

JMAngel nobody could accuse me of travelling light either. I have every beauty tool known to man and use them religiously.
I came out of the womb loving all this shiz. I am no raving beauty but I do make sure that I am my best version of myself apart from the occasional Sunday slob about.
I have spent a fortune on my 'hobby' and there is a yawning chasm between my appearance and friends of the same age who are not interested in this stuff - a bit of effort as we age really does make a massive difference.

Don’t want to derail the thread, but to those of you who have a rather religious approach to skincare, is it possible to pick this up at an older age and sort things out? I was always of the soap and water school of thought, not too keen on putting too many chemicals on my skin, but I have the most awful 11 lines (I don’t want Botox). I tried Frownies but was only a temporary solution and I’m terrible at sticking to a regime.

omg DameDoom, I see it as my hobby too and is how I justify the cost. Friends spend money on gym ( I do free YT videos), dressmaking, crafting, biking, tech etc whereas I see beauty as my thing. I love investigating the evidence etc. rather than blindly buying the latest trend

I hear ya JMAngel1. See myself as a cut price Paula Begoun - extensive research and thorough investigation means any purchase is totally justifiable - no rash purchases for me. I do try to economise in other areas by doing most of the food shop at Lidl. Actually, that's the only area so I should stop kidding myself.
Am sure DH spends commensurate sum on doing up old, rusty bangers for fun so I do the same to this rusty, old banger too.

Ha ha we're not rusty old bangers, we're classic vintage beauties!
Splodgetastic - just jump on in. Never too late to get improvements. Up until last year, I had neglected my neck and hands - now they're much more plump and smooth. No reason the same couldn't apply to your face.

Splodgetastic it's never too late and you really will see a massive difference. My best friend has always been a bit baffled by my regime but has recently got into skincare big time and now really enjoys it. Yippee!
I even encouraged her marched her to the clinic to try Profhilo. Her second treatment has now kicked in and everyone is complimenting her radiance.

It depends for me.

Sometimes because I feel bad about myself otherwise and know that I’ll feel worse if I cut back the self care, esp as the mirrors at my work are large and unforgiving. Colour and makeup makes me think: I’ve got this.

Sometimes it’s to impress someone

Sometimes it’s because I’m in a good mood and it’s fun

I do it out of sheer vanity. I don't want people to look at me and think "God she looked awfully tired and very down at heel"

I have a colleague who smoked a lot up to a year ago, and whilst younger than me, has smokers skin. Very grey and lined. It means she always always always looks knackered. I guess she doesn't care too much, but I would care. Oh my gosh I would care awfully. I don't have smokers skin but I still wear foundation as I'm so self conscious of someone looking at me and thinking I look tired and drawn. Nope! I'm going to look RADIANT! I'm going to ruthlessly control my own PR!

I'm newly free out of a long term relationship which had destroyed my confidence and my looks (I had put on lots of weight and stopped bothering).
I was very attractive in my 20's and now I'm a lot older it's harder to look good, but I'm trying!
In the last year I've:
Lost 2 stone & started regular exercise again
Eyebrows tattooed
Hair coloured
Wearing nail varnish (do it myself at home, cheap and cheerful)

I'm trying to get into a skincare routine, but I am naturally lazy so that's a struggle!

My confidence is recovered and I feel great about dressing and looking like myself again.
I am single, so I do enjoy going out and dressing up more, but mostly I just really relieved that the old me was still there, I just had to go get her.

I'm going to ruthlessly control my own PR! Absofookinglutely.

I have recently had two awful IBD flares. I was completely exhausted and literally had to crawl to the shower with my bowels in a carrier bag - I couldn't be arsed - literally and metaphorically. With DHs assistance, I managed to get showered, hair washed - not styled though- and a half-hearted skin care routine done . It was in very slow stages but it gave me a boost which really helped me recover more quickly.
It was DH who cajoled me into doing 'my thing' otherwise I'd probably still be in bed feeling sorry for myself.

I'm at work today, all women, & I still put my mascara & lipstick on... why??

I do try to make an effort for two reasons first it makes me more confident to face the day; & second I'm looking for a boyfriend....

For myself, so that i am confident and so that I look younger than I am. I love it when people are shocked when they hear i have children, cause they think I'm 10 yrs younger usually.
Also for the man I love. I love the way he looks at me, and I want to be a woman he loves to look at.
Finally for my job, cause when you are attractive and well put together, it boosts your efforts.

Intelligence and personality is everything, but why not boost that with a beautiful appearance and a warm smile?

I have terrible skin so I really have to wear make up in order to avoid looking dirty.

I'm loving this thread :-)

40s and it makes me feel good about myself. From makeup to nail polish to the lingerie underneath it all.

Zoflorabore

Have you considered your friend may not be lazy but may have MH problems or depression?

Have you considered your friend may not be lazy but may have MH problems or depression?

So not wearing make up and conforming to female grooming norms is MH or depression?

I am “too lazy” to bother with make up and other female grooming norms. What that actually translates to is I am absolutely fine with not bothering, and I’d much rather have an extra couple of hours sleep than get up at 5 to do hair and make up. When I was a sahm I had better things to do with my time than visit hairdressers and nail bars.

I am not depressed, i do not have mh issues.

I loved 7Days' post at the beginning of the thread.

JMAngel what did you do for neck and hands? I must know.

I’m really enjoying this thread. Would be nice if it didn’t get fighty.

My age motivates me. I have to make an effort or else I have people ask me if I'm feeling okay.

I love all things make up and skin care, like others have said I could, and do while away the hours researching a new lipstick collection, or researching a skin care brand I've come across.
Generally speaking I don't purchase stuff until I've had a good google!
At the moment I'm a bit obsessed with skin care and I'm constantly popping into the shop I've recently discovered and looking at what they have, I then go home and read reviews about it! I sound crazy but I bloody love it.
I don't wear make up everyday but I just love collecting it and looking at it and watching videos about it!
I like nail care too but I get frustrated with it as if it's not perfect I whip it all off again!
Hair care....not my thing. I dye it and put a bit of product in it but that's all.