Can I wear this dress to a funeral?

[suchagoofball]

I'm attending a funeral next week and tried on my suit only to find that the skirt no longer fits (I put on some weight over winter - I am working to get rid of it but obviously won't be able to do so in the next few days). I have another skirt that does fit but is a little bit tight so I'd rather not wear it if I don't have to.

I wondered if I can get away with this dress instead? It is a dark dress, albeit with white flowers. I'd be wearing it with black heels and either a cardigan or my suit jacket, depending on the weather.

(It hangs weirdly on the hanger but it looks much better when it's on, I promise! I can try and dig out a pic of me wearing it if that helps)

Yes that will be perfect.

I agree with mathanxiety I think it is attention seeking to wear deepest black.

Someone a few posts back said A mantilla can look very dramatic so, unless it's something you already wear regularly, then I would avoid

Unless you are the widow of a head of state , don't even think of it.

I'd be agog at someone appearing at a funeral in a black lace mantilla. They'd be the talk of the church. Admittedly I've never been to a Latin mass.

Raquel Welch would wear a black mantilla to a funeral. And a plunging bodycon dress.

Mantillas are standard wear for a lot of women who attend Latin masses (and for a small number who attend other masses), so if I saw a woman wearing one at a funeral I'd assume she always wore it rather than that she'd got it specially for the funeral.

It's my Dad's funeral next week, and I'd be perfectly happy if you turned up in that. I'm telling people to wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Just making the effort to turn up is enough for me.

Absolutely fine with the accessories described.
Have been to a few funerals recently and only immediate family seemed to wear all black

Thanks for the help, everyone! The funeral was yesterday afternoon and I did end up wearing the dress in the end - I definitely didn't feel out of place but people were there in a wide range of outfits, from jeans and t-shirts to suits! The wife of the deceased was in a pink dress and their kids were wearing some black but with colours as well so I definitely wouldn't have needed to be head to toe in black!

That's good. It's great to have a nice dress that's suitable for all occasions. Hard to find them nowadays.

I'm glad you got through the day such and you felt that what you were wearing was appropriate.

It's so nice to get feed back on this type of thread!

Slightly horrified by the idea that someone donning a black outfit to show respect to the dead and the bereaved family, perhaps wearing all-black intentionally so as not to offend any family sensibilities, could be accused of presumption just for wearing traditional dress to a funeral. Reminds me of the phrase "you can't do right for doing wrong".

I think the comment from marvik that this would be in the same category of faux pas as wearing white to a wedding hits the nail on the head.

It's not respectful to fail to understand that there is an order of precedence among mourners - that is actually reflected in the seating arrangements. If you are one of those who by dint of close relationship to the family belongs in the pew right behind the immediate family, yes, wear all black if you happen to know they might appreciate it. If you belong further back in the church or funeral home according to your degree of relationship to the bereaved, then don't push forward and don't stick out in terms of dress either.

'Doing right' at a funeral has nothing to do with show. It's about genuine heartfelt condolence. Sometimes 'doing right' involves consciously choosing something to wear that won't stand out for any reason.

I honestly don't remember what anyone wore to my dad's or my sister's funeral. I do remember people lining up in the church to shake hands and give a hug and exchange a memory for an hour before each funeral Mass. And the personal messages in the hundreds of condolence cards were a huge comfort.

Glad to hear that everything went well and that the dress was fine (which I knew it would be) suchagoofball.

"Sometimes 'doing right' involves consciously choosing something to wear that won't stand out for any reason. "

Well, yes and wearing black at a funeral would not stand out at all.

"You'll hear people saying "No you don't wear all black you hardly know the family!" Mind you, this is in Ireland where you go to a funeral or the wake of someone you knew quite casually - you show your face, so to speak."

OP's not in Ireland afaik
My grandmother used to wear purple for the funerals of people she didn't even know, but knew of. Most Mumsnetters wouldn't even go to such a funeral if past threads are anything to go by.

Wearing all black at a funeral would most certainly stand out, even in the UK. If comments here are anything to go by, most people don't wear all black to a funeral.

I always take the view - if in doubt go to the funeral. I took my kids to their best friend's sister's funeral - they were 8 years old, I never give any thought to what colours they wore, but I know that their attendance provided a much needed light relief and support for their friend and the mother was enormously grateful for that, they were the only friends who attended.

"Wearing all black at a funeral would most certainly stand out, even in the UK. If comments here are anything to go by, most people don't wear all black to a funeral."

As I've said before, every funeral I've been to has been black or very dark colours, maybe with white shirts for the men. Yes, there is a general trend for softening this as we saw with the funeral the OP went to where the widow was in pink, but black is still the default if you haven't been given any other information.
I was looking at funeral noticed in the paper the other day and there was one that stated 'celebration of life, bright colours'. It had to be pointed out. The others didn't mention colours, as it's not generally seen necessary to write 'dark colours'.