Please help an ageing apple for a wedding outfit

[Finfintytint]

Hello, I think I’m an apple. Broad muscular shoulders, thick waist, skinny legs, no hips, no arse, biggish norks and quite short.
I’m also 52!
What on earth can I wear to a family wedding?
I think I like short dresses and maybe a bit floaty but am rubbish with heels after a leg break (would wear heels if I could mainly stand looking fabulous without any actual movement ).
It’s a summer wedding.
Please dress me....

Clearly I’m a fat no hoper. Will wear a bin bag

Maybe something with an empire line. Accentuates the breasts and glides over the hips and thighs.

I’m liking the empire line. Thank you. Needs to be short so think I could find a version.

I’m your age 5 ft 2 ; 34 h and appley. Currently 11 stone 3. I bought a jumpsuit from Boden petite which is hugely flattering and sexy. Recommend.

If you’ve got big boobs empire look be is terrible- makes you look shapeless.

Mmm.. would love a jumpsuit. Need something a bit athletic for a slightly overweight athlete who’s slim but chunky if you know what I mean.

Looking At Bowden now.

Boden