Does this dress make me look 'a bit nineteenth century'?

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I need a dress for a wedding next month. I tried this one on (in M&S) and really liked the colour and the flouncy way it twirls when I do (I might be five). Both my DM and DH hated it, which surprised me as they both normally at least claim to like most things I buy - DM said it looked 'weirdly covered up' and unflattering, while DH said it looked 'a bit nineteenth century' and then that there was 'something a bit Pennsylvania Dutch about it' (?!). I thought it was elegant but am now doubting myself! Thoughts, oh wise mumsnetters?

I'm 31, 5'10 and the dress pictured is a 12 (in M&S generous sizing). I'd quite like to look nice for this wedding as it'll be the first time I've seen lots of the people there in years, but I'm still feeling a bit body unconfident after having DS nine months ago (don't think I'll lose any more weight before this wedding, though - seem to have plateaued)

Also, I think because the dress is quite flattering people are overestimating the base material I have to work with... It makes me look a bit more curvaceous (and waist narrower - I used to have a little waist but I lost that in pregnancy and haven't got it back!) than I really am, so there isn't a tremendous figure under there just waiting to burst out. Me right now in my PJs, by way of comparison:

Love the Silk Fred one

I saw that dress and thought it looked nice. A bit bright for me but a nice shape.

The orange thing added a lot of widths where you have none. I don’t think you’re a midi-skater style OP.

I don't like it. The length isn't great would look better a bit shorted and the puffy sleeves are horrible. I'm with ur dh and do on this one.

Debenhams red wrap dress

Boden red dress

I really like it, it would look fantastic with a big gold chunky necklace and some strappy gold heels. High necks are bang on trend at the moment. The busy area reminds me of Eugiene's dress for her post-wedding shindig.

You have a gorgeous figure.

www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/womens-dresses?page=1&fq_sub_category=Occasion%20Dresses&fq_attr_size=Size%5E12

Some nice ones with sleeves on here .

I like that wrap dress you’ve linked OP, but I thought you didn’t want a wrap?

Ah, I was unintentionally confusing here - I mean I don't want a pashmina-y thing (as a solution to sleeveless), a wrap dress with sleeves would be fine!

Don’t be daft OP. You’re gorgeous. Knee length skater dress or knee length drop waist with theee quarter sleeves and a square or boat neck would really suit you.,

You are being negative about yourself. You have a good shape: the problem is the high street retailers’ offerings, not you!

The red dress looked good but wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste, eg your DH and DM, a bit “marmite”!

Either of these? You have a lovely figure and I actually like the dress, but I think it’s too old for you. I think either an open neck or shorter sleeves would help.

www.oasis-stores.com/gb/clothing/dresses/animal-wrap-midi-dress/069717.html?dwvar_069717_color=99&position=106&cgid=dresses#page=3&productsMoved=10&hideFeatured=false&start=106&categoryID=dresses

www.oasis-stores.com/gb/clothing/dresses/patched-spot-midi-dress/069631.html?dwvar_069631_color=05&position=118&cgid=dresses#page=9&productsMoved=33&hideFeatured=false&start=118&categoryID=dresses

even having seen the PJ pic I think that M&S dress is not particularly flattering - I think it's making you look wider at the hips than you are.

found this one as well when scrolling:
www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-justine-drape-dress-nightshade/p3765697
although poss too dark for you?

It’s the kind of dress that looks awful on a majority of people. It looks good on you but the kind of good where I would see you at a wedding or whatever and think “if she can make that look good imagine what she’d look like in something more fitting/revealing/stylish/modern”. I mean this as the strongest compliment, I am 5’2, a size 12 and I look like a little chubby Morman girl in dresses like that.

The silk fred one is lovely op.
I like the red one too but prefer the silkfred one.
I think people are used to seeing women expose more flesh that's the issue.

I actually really like it! Try a pp's suggestion of trying on the size down, is there a bit too much fabric at the hips?

I would accessories with something like teal stilettos and a big necklace, possibly something like this
www.etsy.com/uk/listing/545054514/nude-mint-gold-rhinestone-statement?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=statement+necklace&ref=sr_gallery-1-4&organic_search_click=1&frs=1

I'm not normally a blingy person, but I think that dress needs it because it's so modest...

Would something like this appeal to you OP?
https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-lace-midi-skater-dress/prd/9880134]

like that wrap dress you’ve linked OP, but I thought you didn’t want a wrap?

I think she was saying she didn’t want a wrap shawl type thing.

I think you have a better figure than you think you do. I think it looks like you should try on a smaller size.

I mean this dress. You look great in it, and the fact that you like it and are comfortable in it is the main thing. Try it on with various different colour accessories, navy or gold would look really classy and elegant.

Try Gap or Dorothy perkins.

Or tye debenhams website lets you filter on dress and sleeve length which makes it easier to find something

I think it's a lovely dress, by the way.

Hmm that link wasn't v successful. Maybe this'll work instead

Alternatively, there are plenty of dresses on Asos with sleeves. If you want to promote the illusion of a smaller waist, then try a kimono sleeve?

you've got a lovely figure but the dress isn't the right one for you, I think you could find something much much nicer.