Does life get in the way or do we care less with age

[Insecure123]

I remember...back in the day when I was younger the time and effort I used to take over my appearance. Exercised, tanned religiously, always done my make up and my hair was styled before I left the house, I planned my outfits the day before and matched a bag etc. Unless i was at the stables (which was regularly) I made sure I looked pristine.

Well now I am in my 30's I seem to have lost the urge to care......I always think "I am going to make an effort again as it will make me feel better about myself" and then I get in from work, feel tired, have a bath (which no longer involves shaving, scrubbing, moisturising etc) often just tan my face or from the tits up and then crawl into bed.....rolling straight into whatever is to hand the next day.

Then proceed to feel rubbish about myself for the entire day, promising I will start making an effort again and then failing to do so

There are definitely gals my age still making the effort and I know of one. But she is a hairdresser so is in that environment - and her salon does beauty too so she always has eyelashes on and the like. Surely can't just be me??? MOTIVATE ME

Ps writing this is making me almost convince myself it cna be justified to take some money out my savings and go on a good beauty/make up binge (as I often used to before the days of paying bills etc) to motivate me

I think you sound a bit down. I am a few years older than you and still make an effort.

I don't think you need to spend money - it's more about taking the time to do these things - exercise, dry your hair, put on a little bit of make up.

I am definitely not a pamper myself sort of person, and take pleasure in wearing no make up at all when I'm not at work, but I know the difference looking good makes to my wellbeing (and how people treat me).

Good luck OP - I have def been through phases when I can't be bothered but I know I feel better when I do bother!

Was thinking this just today. Badly need to dye my hair (can't be @rsed), need to re do my nails, do my eyebrows...I'm not sure I care or I am just too tired, change in priorities but definitely feel I would have 5-10 years ago. For me it's since becoming a mum...permanently tired!

Its a viscious circle I htink because not making the effort makes you feel down - which in turn zaps your motivation iyswim

I got my eyebrows done yesterday and getting my hair done tonight. going to the OHs for the weekend so will need to shave and tan tonight lol. I feel if i got back into the routine it would be fine its just getting there thats the problem! So many other priorities

I know what you mean.

It may seem shallow, but no one is really interested in me anymore (I don't mean just sexually!). I've disappeared a bit. I'm someone's mum, a wife that is just 'there', a middle-aged woman. And while sometimes, I embrace the freedom that gives, other times I feel a bit depressed at how I've given up looking after myself.

Yes, I probably am a bit down. Exercise helps. I do always go to the hairdresser but I find I can't be bothered with the whole eyebrows, nails thing. I think 'who am I trying to please?', no one cares!

I make more effort now that I'm mid forties than I ever have before. During my twenties and thirties I could coast by because I was conventionally pretty. But now my looks are starting to fade (literally) as I lose pigment in my skin and lips, and things are starting to sag a bit. I don't want to look like a 30 year old but I do still want to look like a pretty 45 year old if possible.

So baby Botox every 6 months, LVL lashes, regular pedicures and subtle make up every day.

intrigued - what is baby botox....and while on the subject what are lvl lashes??

Hi, it's a lower dose of Botox sprinkled more generally and not just concentrated in a specific area. I didn't want my face to look stuff, just well rested.

LVL lashes is basically a combined lash perm & tint.

hmmmmmm interested in this baby botox you speak off! Does it hurt?

I'm in my fifties and maintain everything more so than ever. I find it easy though as I've always looked after myself.

I could not let myself go as I would hate myself for it.

I don't have a man in my life nor do I want one one so I do it for me.

No I don't think it's an age thing and in any case you are not old! FGS you are the age of my children!

I am 60s and make more effort than ever as I need to.

Hair, nails, clothes, fitness, make up.

I like to look groomed and cared for.

So does my mum in her 90s. She's never given up and always gets compliments on her appearance.

what's the tanning that you do? Fake tan not sunbeds I hope.
I don't get the tanning thing. Sorry. I think it looks too contrived.

I use fake tan. I am almost blue without it and feel much happier with a bit of colour.

I work harder on the things I enjoy and less on the things I don't. So I'll happily spend time and money on clothes as I love them and it doesn't feel like a chore. But I wear less and less make up cos it bores me, as does all this grooming pallava. Hair is a compromise as I have it cut into a low care style that suits me. It's not cheap to maintain but, in between cuts, I barely need to touch it.

So my question would be - are there some things that bring enjoyment, e.g. shoes? bags? perfume? skincare? painting your nails? If there are then I would focus on them. Assuming you're looking after yourself, I think life is far too short to spend on things you don't have to do and that don't interest you.

I used to diet hard and stay skinny but now I'm nearly 50, I can't find the motivation to keep it up. I'm about 10lbs heavier but I just think, argh, feck it, life's too short! I'd still like to lose weight and cling on to the belief that I could if I really wanted to but I can't quite be bothered enough.

Tanning anywhere is pretty high effort IMO!

I do more as I age - weight and make up. I didn't really need to do anything when I was young. But i do what I really like rather than to make me acceptable. I think if you did all of that when young cos you felt you had to, then you are now rebelling. In which case good for you.

Life definitely gets in the way for me.
I did paint my nails yesterday for the first time in ages which felt good.

I make more effort these days. I’m slimmer, fitter, wear better clothes and take care of my skin. I’m planning to keep it up.

I do more now in my 30s than I did in my 20s, I have more time and money now. I had children in my early 20s though so that may be part of it! I have more time to do my make up now that my kids can get themselves ready. And more money to get nails done etc as my childcare bill isn't huge anymore!!

I think the time of year doesn’t help because who wants to “do” everything and then wrap up in layers and get pissed wet through? I have clean hair which I have highlighted or lowlighted 3/4 times a year. It’s long and in good condition (considering) because I don’t use hair driers or any heat in it. I do my face every day come he’ll or high water as I look shite without it. Beyond that, I shave/scrub once a week and use a gradual self tan 5/6 times a week.

Maybe just do a paired down routine until the weather’s better, OP? I don’t think there’s anything unusual about what you say. In my 20’s I put a lot of effort into appearance. It’s not my priority now.

One thing I can’t be bothered with, at all, is nails. I love to see nice freshly done nails but they are a “constant upkeep” commitment I don’t have time for. I keep mine short short.

You make a point about the time of year. In the spring and summer I do a long walk twice a day and of course maintenance becomes a bit more essential when you have more on show lol

I do more as i get older (56) it makes me feel better, I have no intention of becoming invisible just because I'm becoming older - I think young women can get away with just about anything because they have the beauty of youth - I now embrace the beauty of being sophisticated and experienced

I am thinking of using my lunch hour to go and get a bottle of nip n fab no needle serum :) I like their other products and my fine lines are bothering me - its a start

I agree with Flo (as always ). I spend time and money on the stuff that brings me joy. And for me that includes a corporate career. So making myself well-groomed and well-dressed is part of that. I'm also pale in a grey way so enjoy the impact/effect of bronzers and fake tan, it's an effort but worth it. Concentrare on how you feel once you've made the effort and it wont seem like so much of an effort