Does life get in the way or do we care less with age

[Insecure123]

I remember...back in the day when I was younger the time and effort I used to take over my appearance. Exercised, tanned religiously, always done my make up and my hair was styled before I left the house, I planned my outfits the day before and matched a bag etc. Unless i was at the stables (which was regularly) I made sure I looked pristine.

Well now I am in my 30's I seem to have lost the urge to care......I always think "I am going to make an effort again as it will make me feel better about myself" and then I get in from work, feel tired, have a bath (which no longer involves shaving, scrubbing, moisturising etc) often just tan my face or from the tits up and then crawl into bed.....rolling straight into whatever is to hand the next day.

Then proceed to feel rubbish about myself for the entire day, promising I will start making an effort again and then failing to do so

There are definitely gals my age still making the effort and I know of one. But she is a hairdresser so is in that environment - and her salon does beauty too so she always has eyelashes on and the like. Surely can't just be me??? MOTIVATE ME

Ps writing this is making me almost convince myself it cna be justified to take some money out my savings and go on a good beauty/make up binge (as I often used to before the days of paying bills etc) to motivate me

I think it's kids that do it. Before I had them I was very careful about looking after myself. Then came the wilderness years until the youngest was about 15, since when I have looked after myself like never before! Also now I have time and more money to think carefully about style choices etc. I'm enjoying style and beauty (not just this board but actual S&B) like never before, and I'm 54 now
Also, what @Palominoo says. Yes yes yes that's me too,100%

interesting that some posters feel they 'need to' make more effort than ever now they are older.

I'm clean, my clothes are clean and in one piece. Hair fairly presentable (though it has a mind of its own!). The only thing I do is my nails because I see them a lot as I'm typing away at work (like right now) and they make me smile.

But frankly I'm enjoying being away from any expectation about my looks - though clearly others feel the expectation is even more now they are older. The fact that I'm far more confident and outspoken these days means I'm perfectly visible - I don't need my appearance to do that for me anymore, thank goodness.

I think doing whatever makes you happy with your appearance gives you the confidence to feel 'visible'.

I have always been self-confident and outspoken, taking care of my appearance means that for me, I remain so.

I didn't say I feel I need to.

some posters doesn't = you, Nigella

I am also in the lucky position that I now have more time and money to spend on my appearance, I have always enjoyed s&b but during the 'small child/full time working' years I had to stretch the time and money a very long way.

So no, I dont 'need' to put my face on everyday, I just like to.

No but it could!

I'm always battling against my laziness! But I find it easier to get excited about beauty stuff when I:

• Spend more time with my girlfriends, and talk about beauty stuff, gorgeous celebs, going shopping, new products, etc;

• Read magazines. The lovely glossy women's magazines that are rammed for of beauty tips. Reading these in the hairdressers kills two birds with one stone;

• Commit to one night a week where I'll have a beauty overhaul. And do it straight away when I get home! Leaving it for even 20 minutes means I slump in front of the tv, and it all feels like a faff. Run a bath as soon as you get in, fill it with lovely bubbles, get some music on, get all your products out and go. Promise yourself a nice dinner in front of the tv in your pjs AFTER you have scrubbed, shaved, face-packed, and fake-tanned;

• Watch YouTube videos where women try out products or services, like that app that tells you what outfits to wear every day.

In general though, I only really properly bother all the time when I'm single 😂 so I'd blame your BF.

why? You didn't say that - some posters did, they used that exact word. You didn't, so not about you!

Molly - I have a lovely evening every week when dh goes out for a hobby, I really enjoy the face mask/foot mask/nails etc stuff, trashy tv, glass of something and an early night. bliss.

I enjoy the WhoWhatWear blog, and also going out with friends regularly is great, lots of incentive to try new outfits etc!

I think going out less makes a difference too. Naturally, I went out more when younger. Spend most of my time at home on the farm now so the odd occasion going out is always lovely to have to get dolled up. I actually do enjoy it. But the regular maintenance not so much - though I know I would if I just got back into a routine with it iyswim. I have a weekend off at the OH this weekend. He has to work through (at home) so I will help him a bit but also going to take some time to myself while he is busy. Do a nice facemask and paint my nails. There is a lovely beautician who lives near him who works from a cabin in her garden so I may even treat myself to a little facial :)

I think it's fine to save your time and energy. Life in your 30s and 40s can be very busy. What's the point of repetitive tasks such as fake tanning and painting your nails when you could be watching a great film/having doing some exercise/reading a book. These things are so much more important to me now that I'm mid-40s.

My style and beauty mojo seems to be totally linked to my hormones. For a week and a half of each month around the time I'm ovulating I have so much more enthusiasm for clothes, want to spend the time on hair and make up. I feel good about myself and want to look good. The rest of the month I just feel a bit 'meh' and can't be bothered much.
Regular exercise and eating well automatically makes you feel more positive about your appearance in my experience.
I'm 39 now and am definitely spending less time on my beauty regime than I did in my 20's. I totally get the thing about feeling a bit 'anonymous'.

My beauty viewing consists of watching Antonella the Uncensored. I have just vowed to become more high maintenance. Beauty has moved on and it’s far more high end now and I feel as if I’m stuck in the past, which given my advanced age, is not surprising. I’m not a fan of fake, fake nails, hair extensions etc so I don’t quite know how it will work out!

Now I’m older it’s a lot more expensive to maintain my looks - dye grey hair, buy creams, get teeth whitened - and tbh I can’t afford it. I need to spend more but at the same time I have less money because I have a mortgage and DC so I can’t afford clothes and hair and beauty treatments. Not to mention less time - I can’t paint my nails and put on face masks and work out because I have laundry and cooking to do, and DC to raise and breastfeed, and a garden to weed and rooms to hoover etc.

I’m at the point where it’s like putting lipstick on a pig anyway. My stomach is ruined from stretch marks and loose skin, pregnancy permanently thickened my waist and ankles, my breasts are ruined from breastfeeding and I have wrinkles on my brow. If I make an effort I look better but not beautiful any more. So why bother even trying when it’s doomed to failure.

I think when I had young children, wasn't at work and was on maternity leave it didn't make much effort.

Now I'm working again, also single, I really enjoy all the style and beauty I can do! With kids as well i don't have loads of money but I try to look well groomed.

That’s very hard on yourself Velvet.

I put more effort in now I am nearly 60. My freshness and waistline disappeared with the menopause so I try and compensate in other ways. I have regular botox, hair cuts and highlights, do yoga and walk a lot, have a more complicated skin care regime including some RF facials and ultherapy and recently had my brows microbladed.

I’m not kidding myself, I still look like I’m in my fifties but I look like a healthy, glowing, rested version of myself which makes me feel better.

@wins... sounds good. I’m 56 and under no illusions that I can look “younger” (and don’t want to). However, I don’t need to look tired out, grey or disheveled either!

@Velvet, stop. You’re being way too hard on yourself xx

@Insecure123 You sound old my love!

For someone in their 30s....

A few of here are 60s and believe me, 30 is a child still.

I've put a lot of effort in over the years- not so much expensive treatments- but basic skin care like high spf daily, not being overweight, sensible healthy diet, and am often told I look 15 years younger.

I think you need to stop thinking of your age and understand you are still very very young.

I use to be a lot more "all about me" too but it's natural for you to become less me - me - me when you have children.. My are no longer tiny and I hated feeling achey and crappy so have had my hair coloured and cut for the first time in years, yes years.. Weight not an issue but fitness was... I have discovered Yoga on YouTube.. Wow life changing for how its made me feel..

I'm 54, and I don't think I make less effort, but probably less than some here. I don't do botox, or fillers, I'm lucky deluded and have never felt the need.I get a lot of male attention from men much younger than me, and increasingly men my own age seem to hate me. I honestly wish it wasn't this way.I get quite fed up of it.
I'm very active, weight train and run, and have quite good hair which is thick, wavy and long. Some days I get dressed up, if I have a reason, but usually I'm in work out gear, or my DMs. These days, my biggest efforts go into keeping strong and fit, and taking care of my health. I don't want my children to be burdened by me being infirm

I’m currently on mat leave with a 9 month old so don’t get time to do hair & make up as baby won’t sit & play for more than 5 minutes so I literally shove hair in ponytail and throw clothes on. I wear whatever is on top of laundry pile despite having a wardrobe of beautiful clothes.

I don’t see the point making an effort either as all I do is push buggy around in the rain in my waterproof coat with my hood up!

I am slim though thanks to all the buggy walks & not having time to eat

I caught sight of myself in a shop mirror the other day & was shocked how awful I look

It really really gets me down as I used to take pride in my appearance