Does life get in the way or do we care less with age

[Insecure123]

I remember...back in the day when I was younger the time and effort I used to take over my appearance. Exercised, tanned religiously, always done my make up and my hair was styled before I left the house, I planned my outfits the day before and matched a bag etc. Unless i was at the stables (which was regularly) I made sure I looked pristine.

Well now I am in my 30's I seem to have lost the urge to care......I always think "I am going to make an effort again as it will make me feel better about myself" and then I get in from work, feel tired, have a bath (which no longer involves shaving, scrubbing, moisturising etc) often just tan my face or from the tits up and then crawl into bed.....rolling straight into whatever is to hand the next day.

Then proceed to feel rubbish about myself for the entire day, promising I will start making an effort again and then failing to do so

There are definitely gals my age still making the effort and I know of one. But she is a hairdresser so is in that environment - and her salon does beauty too so she always has eyelashes on and the like. Surely can't just be me??? MOTIVATE ME

Ps writing this is making me almost convince myself it cna be justified to take some money out my savings and go on a good beauty/make up binge (as I often used to before the days of paying bills etc) to motivate me

I am 53, I have all the products and time but absolutely no impetus to daily groom anymore. I keep myself clean, and consider myself stylish etc, but all the little things I use to do are now once in a blue moon. Today was the first time in weeks I shaved my legs/pits and applied body lotion. I am lucky I don't have dry skin or I would be leaving a dusty trail.

I think I just resent the time now. And a bit resentful that being a woman is exhausting and expensive. Not only do we earn less we go through these expensive and convoluted routines, for what? You go into Superdrug and there is a wall of make up that is ever evolving to include more and more must haves. Men shave and that is it - although increasingly that TOWIE or Love Island male aesthetic is filtering down to mainstream.

So all the extras like fake tan, face masks, deep conditioners, cellulite massagers and the like have fallen by the wayside. The most fancy thing I do is paint my toe nails. As long as my chin is plucked free of my peri menopausal hairs, my hair and body is clean, and my clothes are neat and tidy, a 2 minute make up (which sometimes I don't bother with) that's it. I don't feel invisible, I feel comfortable in my skin, and I never want to go back to being obsessed with all the minutiae and bother of being fully made up and uber groomed.

I bough the Pure Grace perfume recommended on here and that makes me feel nice, a quick waft before I put my coat on (then there will be another waft when I take my coat off for whoever is around).
www.boots.com/philosophy-pure-grace-spray-fragrance-60ml-10126710?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc--PLAs--%7b_dsadgroup%7d-_-%7b_dscampaign%7d%20&utm_source=bmm-buk-google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=(GB:Whoop!)+Boots+Shopping+-+Category+-+Premium+-+Desktop&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_c-MsYWG4QIVzrvtCh2BcA_TEAQYAyABEgJC3vD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I'm getting to the stage of not doing anything but I think I'm a bit down at the moment. It doesn't help that I don't work, or go out much so I just don't bother.

I do care but what’s more important to me is working out so the grooming has to suffer as there are only so many minutes in the day! Do keep my hair cut/dyed, eyebrows shaped - nails are the things that suffer!!

I take more care of my health now and less of my appearance.

My health has become more important so I always take time to eat well, exercise and spend money on nutrition and osteo etc.

I also genuinely care so much less what people think of me and feel no need to make myself attractive to other people. I look "presentable" which makes me feel nice for me, but I don't care about looking pretty or sexy anymore, and I see that as a positive thing.

Sarcelle I think I know what you mean about feeling resentful. I'm often startled by what counts as basic minimum grooming these days - the list seems to be growing exponentially. I've noticed the industry is now targeting young men too.

I know a lot of posters on here enjoy the whole process of make up and grooming and that's a very good reason to do it. But one thing I've realised as I've got older is that I'm not really interested, that it's clothes that are my thing. I'm still vain and I care about how I present myself but I'm not even convinced any more that I really look better with make up - to be sure I look different when I wear it but possibly blander / less interesting? I'm trying to decide. So I wouldn't say I care any less but I'm certainly questioning more.

Buster that doesn't sound like you. Hope you feel better soon

I'm pretty well groomed both because it's necessary for my job but also because I enjoy making an effort. However I don't spend ages on my routine either and have got it down to a fine art.

I spend a lot on a really sharp hair cut and quality highlights so my hair only takes a few minutes to style and always looks good. I use a very moisturising shower gel so no need for separate body lotion. I wear a tinted moisturiser with a high spf and I have LVL lashes, so all I need to apply is a tinted lip balm which doubles as a blusher then I use Laura Mercier Tightline Cake liner to tightline my top lashes. So my make up takes less than 5 mins to do. I have my teeth whitened and baby Botox twice a year, and have a pedicure and wax once a month. It really doesn't take up much of my time at all in the grand scheme of things but I feel so much better for it.

Dunno, never really did any of those things when I was younger. Did not give two shits of anyone elses appraisal of my appearance/body and was/am against gendered ideals. I did exercise because I enjoyed it and wore the clothes I liked. Didn't wear makeup until I turned 40 (literally nothing). Nowadays I suppose I do make more of an effort, I colour my hair and use tinted moisturiser, mascara most days. I've worked out how I can use makeup (for me). Am also trying to get fit again, but all of this is more about my wellbeing than how I appear to others. Maybe work out what part of 'taking care of yourself' you like and gives you pleasure (for you) and do that. As a pose to doing it as a chore or task?

I'm also on mat leave with a 4 month old. I manage clean hair blasted dry (I used to deep condition, air dry and then use a curling wand), never wear contacts so am always in glasses, and haven't worn makeup since the end of my pregnancy. It feels a bit pointless fussing with clothes when actually if I rock up to a baby class or farm shop in my old-me clothes and a leather jacket instead of leggings and a raincoat like everyone else I feel awkward. It's liberating but depressing at the same time, as breastfeeding means I'm slimmer than ever but as a mid-30s mum I feel so invisible. I'm hoping in my 40s I can get back on it as, although I am going back to work, the thought of a beauty and grooming regime while getting myself ready for work and a toddler ready for nursery before 8 makes me feel a bit sick!

I looked lovely back then, but yes I did put the work in too. Went to the gym, did sunbeds (yikes!), blow dried my hair, got highlights. Wore expensive make-up, outfits including shoes & handbags. Watched what I ate (well, went hungry).
Now, I really could do with a similar plan (fake tanning!). I no longer have the pretty/thin thing going on. I need an eyebrow intervention, a good haircut, teeth polishing. Regular facial, maybe? And to actually use all of my posh products!
In terms of style, I’m wearing black all the time, when I never even owned black clothes before... I think the last nice photo of me was on my 40th birthday! It’s mostly a case of not being arsed, but it would boost my confidence to look better, for sure.

Threads like this make me realise how lazy I am! I wear make up to work, mascara, concealer, sometimes some foundation and blusher occasionally lipstick. Weekends I don't bother unless DH and I go out. I'm super pale but too lazy to tan. I think I'm happier now I am comfortable not wearing make up at weekends etc. There was a time I'd have never left the house without it. I keep meaning to exercise and don't though, can definitely relate to the OP but with that!

Floisme thank you, I'm touched that you know who I am! I'm okay, just a bit fed up really, I'm sure I'll be back to normal soon! I think I'm what you would call 'stuck in a rut!'.

"Tanning anywhere is pretty high effort IMO!"

Yes, can't get over the idea that you've 'let yourself go' when you only fake tan part of your body. Sounds like you were very high maintenance in your youth OP.

"I only really properly bother all the time when I'm single 😂 so I'd blame your BF."

I'm single so for me that means NOT having to bother with things like shaving my legs. I do want to lose some weight, but knowing that nobody's going to see me in my underwear means I sometimes wonder what would be the point.

Worst thing for me is that I feel the cold. I know I look crap in my massive coat and bobble hat, but what can I do?