going grey - yay or nay

[ClosedAuraOpenMind]

I've been colouring my hair since I started getting highlights at the age of about 14. Am now 47 and was at my hairdresser this am getting cut and colour (all over colour, which is dark blonde)
been getting more and more grey for the last few years and hairdresser reckons growing out the dye and embracing the grey could be a good look......my hair is apparently a nice grey
I could get timers to help blend the dyed bits with the grey while it's growing out, and part of me really likes the idea. Hair is in a chin length bob so it's not too long
But part of me just thinks grey hair = old lady and I just don't feel like that!
anybody out there ditched the dye? what's it's like??

I stopped colouring my hair a few years ago (I’m 52).
My grey is now quite even and I have long strands of silver that “frame “ my face. My hair is very dark so the contrast is significant. Really like it and I had someone compliment me on my “highlights” once.

I've never met a person with grey hair who didnt look middle aged, tbh.

It doesn't really matter whether the hair is in immaculate condition or not. If you have grey hair that's lustrous and soft then you may get compliments on its condition but you probably still look middle aged despite having soft hair.

I know a pair of identical twins. At about 44 one decided to stop dying her hair. And her grey hair was lovely and soft and shiny. But she looked at least 10 years older than her sister overnight.

Also have a colleague in work with all grey hair. I assumed she was retiring soon, only to be told by another colleague that she was only about 54!

Now I'm going to slink away, ducking the onslaught from MNs greyer members......

I'm planning to fully 'own the crone' wrt going grey. Men never have this dilemma.

I went from block colour to root touch up then foils over the course of 20 years. Now I'm a year into colour-free and loving it! The foils helped tone down the badger look during transition. Certainly don't miss spending £££ in the salon. And so what if we look our age or older?

Haha love 'own the crone'! I'm going to use that!

I went grey and it was a lovely steel bluey colour and in fantastic condition.

The downside was that I wear make up and sometimes have a tan and the natural colour of my hair just didn't look right and I looked odd.

So I bleached it and weirdly it suits me much better whatever make up I wear and whatever the shade of my skin. It makes my eyes look bigger and brighter too.

The upkeep is easier, much easier than when I had very dark hair.

I’m in my 40s. Fully grey now after dying my hair since I was a teen. I look bloody great 😁

Why is it a problem to look out age, or even older? Growing old is a privilege.

Also, why do men look "distinguished" or are "silver foxes" when grey, but women don't?

I have never been in the habit of dying my hair, and now that I am building a collection of silvers, I still won't. Anyone who judges me for that isn't worth my time.

I've never met a person with grey hair who didnt look middle aged, tbh.

I've pretty much never met a person who was middle aged who didn't look middle aged, whatever their hair colour. Dyeing your hair doesn't make you look young, it just makes you not have grey hair. (Disclaimer: celebrities often don't look middle aged, but that's about a lot more than their hair.)

I was a full year into going grey and it looked great and I was happy with it. But I asked some strangers to guess my age and they were years off. I've dyed it again and did similar and this time still years off but this time younger than I am !
So I'll stick with the dye for a few more years.

Also have a colleague in work with all grey hair. I assumed she was retiring soon, only to be told by another colleague that she was only about 54!

What a bizarre comment. How many of the men you know who are in their fifties have grey hair, Elspeth? Almost all of them, I suspect. Why on earth wouldn't women of the same age also have grey hair, other than the pressure on women to do everything they can to avoid the cardinal sin of looking their age?

I'm planning to fully 'own the crone' wrt going grey. Men never have this dilemma

Don't quite agree with that. There are a lot of older men walking around with badly dyed barnets. Paul McCartney used to be their glorious leader but I notice he's thankfully gone grey recently.

I gave up dyeing my hair, the all over brunette was unflattering as it brought red tones out that didn't suit my skin tone. I'm 48, I am firmly middle aged, I'm embracing both my age and my hair. I'm not in my 20s or 30s but I'm fit and healthy. My hair looks great, I'm happy with it, my husband likes it, my children aren't embarrassed, the guy in the pub this week who chatted me up seemed to think I looked okay! - who else matters?

I'd rather have silver gray "highlights" than badly dyed hair with the roots needing constant attention. I don't have the time or want to spend my hard earned cash on something I didn't even like.

OP some people's grey hair is nicer than other people's grey hair. But give it a try to satisfy your curiosity and if you hate the look of it you can always go back to the bottle.

But that's my point Florence, she doesn't look her age!

Why look middle aged if you're not?

And why look 64 if you're only 54?

And I don't think it's necessarily a gender issue as I work with one man who I know for a fact is late 40s but looks 10 years older and haggerd-ier because of his hair. At least women can use a bit of concealer but he looks so washed out.

The main issue is to make sure you have a good cut. Grey hair looks amazing and in a good style can knock Years off your age, much more than someone continually dying their hair a colour which due to their age, is obviously not their natural colour.

some people's grey hair is nicer than other people's grey hair

Yes. If it's going grey nice and evenly all over it can look nice. But if like me it's just a big stripe down the middle it's not nice.

I don't care if I look middle aged because that's what I am but I still want my hair to look nice!

Done it! I'm 46 and was fed up with colouring. Went lighter first- from brunette to blonde and then really short. By the end, my front was not taking to the colour so it defeated the object.
No dye left now and I love my hair for the first time in years.
I get so many compliments. And only one negative comment. Lots of women envious that I've taken the plunge. So liberating!
Do it! I

I'm 38 and am already very grey on the sides and salf and pepper everywhere else. I have blonde ends and highlights that blend into the grey and people constantly tell me it looks intentional. I'm never guessed to be older than 33 either. I get my eyebrows microbladed and I think that makes a difference.

I have no advice op but what really gets my goat is when people assume that a woman must be at least 50 if she has grey hair. A vast proportion of people go grey in their 30s or even 20s. It’s not an “old” thing. Men in their 30s and 40s who are grey don’t seem to have the same issue that people think they’re older than they are.
It’s just another way to make women feel bad about themselves, about aging, getting them to spend money etc etc etc. It completely sucks.

50 percent of people are 50% grey at 50. So yes, at 47 a middle aged woman (wonder how long Elspeth is planning to live if she doesn't think 47 is middle aged) will have some grey. OP, if your hairdresser is suggesting go for it. It will look fab and we can all giggle at Elspeth when she's still spending £££ trying to look 'young' with clearly fake hair at 80 while the rest of us enjoy the money we saved by not dying our hair.

We were in Paris in January and I noticed the French women embracing their grey. They still managed to look chic!

I'm 67 and I haven't ditched the dye yet, and it ain't gonna happen! Mine's mid brown and shoulder length. I look round at all the women with white or grey hair, short cut into a Bob or pixie, and think nooooo!

single why though? What’s wrong with having grey hair at 67? What’s so offensive about those women having grey hair? With all due respect no-one at 67 will convince anyone else that their brown hair is natural, or that they’re much younger than their age. I understand so much more, a woman in her 30’s not wanting to be grey but one in her 60’s? Meh, you’re not fooling anyone. Your choice of course, I just don’t understand it really

We were in Paris in January and I noticed the French women embracing their grey. They still managed to look chic!

I bet they did. Parisian women are so style conscious though. I think if you are going to grey you have* to make more of an effort with your hair, really great cut and condition, so people know you're embracing your grey and that it's a style choice.

*or not. you can obviously let your hair do its own thing.