going grey - yay or nay

[ClosedAuraOpenMind]

I've been colouring my hair since I started getting highlights at the age of about 14. Am now 47 and was at my hairdresser this am getting cut and colour (all over colour, which is dark blonde)
been getting more and more grey for the last few years and hairdresser reckons growing out the dye and embracing the grey could be a good look......my hair is apparently a nice grey
I could get timers to help blend the dyed bits with the grey while it's growing out, and part of me really likes the idea. Hair is in a chin length bob so it's not too long
But part of me just thinks grey hair = old lady and I just don't feel like that!
anybody out there ditched the dye? what's it's like??

I'm aiming to to go grey disgracefully - I started going grey in my early twenties, and dyed it to my natural very black colour until my mid forties.

Since then, I've been every colour under the rainbow, and Ash blonde.

Last year I started changing it to grey-purple and realised that I was dyeing it the colour it actually was!

I've haven't bleached it for about 8 months, and currently I have the bleached ends dyed lilac with a semi-permanent. I love it and can't wait to be grey all over, although I will probably keep some purple highlights on the ends.

I also "owned my crone" about 10 years ago. I had had a short haircut and couldn't face having to colour every 6 weeks or so. I love it - better condition, lots of compliments and so freeing, At the moment it's a wavy bob. I did have to rethink makeup - bright lips look really good now

For those of you saying it ads 10 years, why doesn’t it add 10 years to men?!

For the record I don’t care what colour anyone’s hair is I just hate the sexism. Women with grey hair look older or have let themselves go or need to try harder with clothes and make up as a result. Men just get ridiculed for colouring their grey hair, McCartney always gets mentioned. Why is it ok for men to go grey and turn into silver foxes but women face the opposite opinions? Why do we let this happen to ourselves? ANd why do we perpetuate this by constantly saying that women look 10 years older when grey. We’re
Doing ourselves such a huge disservice

I'm 47 and I don't have any visible grey yet (the odd individual one), but am intending not to dye it. I guess I might change my mind if I really dislike the way it looks, but I hope not.

I’m 33 and have white stripes sprouting from my temples and a decent sprinkling through the rest of my hair.
I’ve been going grey since my early 20’s and I just don’t have the time/money/inclination to have a head of highlights done every 8 weeks. Plus my greys were already showing by then.
I currently have about 5 inches of my natural colour and the rest is yellowed highlights. These are getting cut shorter and the highlighted bits dyed a shade or two lighter than my natural hair next week. Just to aid my transitional period and grow out all of the dye.

I honestly couldn’t give a fuck if other people think my hair ages me, it’s my hair and I’ll do what I damn well like with it.

I ditched the dye about 6 months ago.
I have fairly long hair, so wanted to grow out my low lights, as my hair was not in its best condition.
I’ve probably only got about 5 % grey, but it all seems to be concentrated in one area so I am waiting to see if I get a cool streak.
I did it because I didn’t want to have to either chop it all off or have a “skunk stripe” if I decided to do it in 10 years time.

I do feel like it is definitely embracing middle age, as I thought I looked younger for many years. I think there is a lot of psychology tied up in women’s hair.

I find that looking at inspirational pictures on Pinterest, and also using purple shampoo to stop the grey ( and the growing out lowlights) looking brassy, helps the transition.

My mother still dyes her hair and she's 86! She can't face transitioning to grey but really wishes she'd done it years ago - she's in hospital seriously ill and she's worried about her hair and how she must look a complete mess - it's weird!
I'm 47 - seems to be a few of us on this thread! I do not dye my hair - I have few greys, not many - I'm focusing on keeping my hair healthy, I've noticed it has got thinner over the years. No way do I want to be dyeing my hair in my 80's like my mother! I'm happy to be my age.
@Girlzroolz you could join the curly silvers on facebook for support and tips on how to manage your hair.

Hmm this is a tricky one, but it really should be as simple as this...

If you want to go grey, then do it. If you don't, then don't. It's completely up to you!

I'm 34 and have started to notice more greys over this past year and have decided I'm going to start dying my hair. I don't think it's a media pressure and certainly not pressure from friends/family, I just don't think it's doing anything for me. Some people have said to embrace it and it's not very noticeable, others have said I would look better if it was covered up, so it's just an opinion. That said, it's an opinion I asked for. I wouldn't expect someone to just come out and say I should dye my hair.

If someone asked whether they looked better with straight or curly hair, brown or red, nobody would be getting worked up and people would accept it was just an individuals opinion, but because we're talking about grey hair and grey hair specifically on women, it turns into a big debate about sexism and ageism.

I suppose I can understand that.

It is about sexism and ageism unfortunately.
Men are more valued in society as they get older than women are. Yes we’re doing ourselves a disservice as I said above but there are reasons that we fall for it and feel under pressure. You only need to listen to middle aged actresses saying there are no roles for them
Yet there are loads for middle aged men. It all feeds back into the pressure on women not to age and to still look young because that’s where our value is. It’s actually really awful

These threads always go the same way . Lots of arguing, lots of people posting pictures and lots of people politely going 'Ooh looks lovely! " when it very often doesn't (not specifically referring to the people in this thread). I would like it if people posted before and after photos so we can see which look they genuinely suit better.

I swallowed all the guff about 'embracing the grey' posted on here and elsehwere, grew out my hair, looked washed out and ten years older for a few months then went back to brown and instantly looked myself again. A full head of grey hair is not for me at this time (I'm mid-40s).

I became allergic to hair dye so had no choice. My biggest supporter is DS who informs me my hair looks better. I’m lucky that my grey is quite a bright silver and desirable according to my hairdresser. When it was just a few streaks many people thought they were deliberate highlights. I had a little grey but then DD died and lots of my hair fell out and all the hair that grew again was silver. I’m just grateful it grew back.

It is not a male vs female issue. Men worry too about going grey, think Rob Brydon and Paul McCarthy ) but they have an even bigger worry: baldness. To many men,,a full head of grey hair is better than a bald head. Well, for the men I know anyway. My dad cared deeply when he was referred to as "the old man with the white hair"when he was 40..... at 80 he is glad he's not bald

I have never dyed my hair yet (47) and am now starting to get a few grey strands.

Not sure when I'll get the dye out...

but going all-grey isn't an option for lots of people, as most of us are maybe at an inbetween stage (10% grey, or 20 or 40) and what do you do then!

I did it. And as requested by @MargotLovedTom1 here are the before (when I was 43) and after pictures.

I think it does look better. I do pretend in anyway I look younger. But on the flip side I do not think it makes me look older than my years either. I am 47. I will not look like I am in my 30s ever again. But then I do not want to look like I am in my 30s.

And to be honest, I am not sure I care (not meant rudely btw) if I look better/worse now than before.

I love it mostly because I am far more comfortable and I no longer have to spend ££ and hours keeping my roots at bay. I am not timing hair appointments around big social events. I am no longer dealing with "not quite right for my skin tone" blorange. My curls are back - no longer fucked by the chemicals I have ringlets again.

Occasionally I think about dying again - mostly if I feel a bit bored by my style - but the thought of that upkeep again .

If you are toying with the idea then try it. There are facebook pages (Going Gray Gracefully etc) which albeit are a bit naff but can offer you support if you have off days. And a bit like having a drastic pixie or cutting in a fringe - it is only hair. It grows. You can change it back.

I do not pretend in anyway it makes me look younger

Yes, I remember your long running thread - I read it when I was considering going grey. I think the curls help in your case: the grey looks more diffuse. With my straight hair it looked very harsh.

AdverseCamber sorry about your daughter.

slowkniter

I've never met a person with grey hair who didnt look middle aged, tbh.

I’ve met many people with very badly dyed hair (usually black) who look much, much older than they would have done if they’d greyed gracefully

I think it also really depends on how you go grey. I'm now dye free and have quite a lot of white, but I'm a natural ash blonde and the white is really evenly distributed, so I have natural highlights that tone in well with the rest of my hair. I love it. But, i can see that I might not feel the same it it were patchy or I had dark hair and the grey didn't tone well etc...
I definitely don't think that grey hair automatically ages a person. But then, I have never met a person over the age of about 35 who hasn't looked more or less their age, whatever they've chosen to do with their hair. There are women who look better groomed, wear more make-up, are clearly more into clothes etc... but i don't think it makes them look any younger per se.

I've never met a person with grey hair who didnt look middle aged, tb

Maybe because they are middle aged!

I am grey and look my age ( mid forties) I nearly didn't reach this age and so I am more than happy to embrace it

I don't understand the pressure to look younger - I am glad I'm 62 (a few of my close friends/family never made that age) and I don't care if I look it. I also hate the term anti-ageing - the alternative to ageing is far worse

Of course people with grey hair look middle aged (or elderly).
But middle aged or elderly people with dyed hair look middle aged or elderly too.
I have no visible grey hair, but look roughly the age I am (47). I expect I will continue to look my age as I go grey, as the vast majority of people look their age whether they go grey or not. People who think dyeing their hair makes the rest of their face, body etc look younger are kidding themselves!

“Maybe because they are middle aged!”

Exactly this. WTH is wrong with looking middle-aged?
Of course, I speak from the lucky position of looking bloody marvellous
(rocking, as I mostly do, the crazy cat lady look ...)

I'm reacting more and more to hair dyes. I thought I had one brand left I could use but no... I other after that one too.
And I can't spare the expense or the time to get foils every time my roots grow through.

I'm getting lots of compliments asking if I've dyed my hair lighter when really it's my grey growing through more. It's q salt and pepper but with flashes of bright silver.
I have one more box of dye which I'm going to use to see how it goes but it's one that seems to blend rather than block cover my grey anyway. Then I'm going to get highlights in a month or so to blend out the regrowth... Then leave it.

Dh veers between telling me I don't need to dye it and joking I'm a little old lady... but he's always been a wind up merchant and I know that secretly he doesn't care.
I have 2 friends about my age who are or have embraced the grey so I'm in good company. And my sil is completely white at age 40 and gets asked where she got her hair dyed.

I'm just put off thinking of being judged. Although 2 of my male colleagues are now grey and don't seem to care and they are my age.

I stopped colouring mine about four years ago, also grew it slightly longer and wear it up sometimes - most people say it makes me look younger. But then, I am 65.