One month to totally overhaul myself - unlimited time and budget?

[Lattesforlife]

Okay, so the unlimited budget isn’t true at all really, but I am interested in your suggestions regardless just in case I win the lottery!

I have exactly 1 month till I see my ex again. I feel battered after the last 6 months and I want to transform myself in to the confident kick ass lady I was before.

I’m currently approaching 38, 2 stone over weight, my skin is dull, spotty and full of chin hairs..... I have zero energy because I’ve been so consumed by the break up. I am self employed but in a quiet period, so have time to spend on myself (Ds allowing!)

What would you do? I guess I’m after a mini princessing routine of things that will make a difference in 4 weeks?

My thoughts so far are:

Some sort of diet that nourishes me / my skin / hair?

Drink water..... gallons of the stuff

Eyebrows threaded and dyed

Exercise routine of some sort?

Poss lip fillers?

Skin care routine is currently sleeping in my make up then washing it off with soap

I second getting out walking in the fresh air- listen to a funny podcast if the weather isn’t great.

Also can you do something lovely in your home- candle/ throw/ magazine/ bake bread- so you have a lovely environment to be in too?

Exciting.

Lots of water, 30min walk every day, eat well, moisturise, hair cut and colour closer to the time and eyebrows done.

New bra, hygienist visit.

Buff and file your nails, use handcream

Classic outfit see what you already have and add to it

Feminism. It's cheaper than make up and much more effective

Cut out SUGAR... anything with sugar IMMEDIATELY... my skin/puffiness/sparkle all improves within DAYS - really... yes tons of water/lots of stretching...

Maybe a couple of sessions of derma-planing and micro-needling WELL before the date... It can really bring on a lovely glow...

Ooh you lot are good!!!

I’ll look into dermaplaning!

Realised the diet side of things is trickier at this time of year, I want ALL the sugar and carbs

I’ve not heard of the kettlewell site, will go have a look now. I’m pants at clothes, I tend to live in the same 3 dresses rotated at the minute think a shopping trip towards the end of the Christmas break will be a good idea.

I love the idea of making the house lovely too - any excuse for a new candle?!

Seriously though, my ex is the catalyst for this, but it’s not about doing it for him - more doing it to be free of him? Or something. I don’t know how to explain it. The focus is on ME, and making me happier and healthier and looking kick ass though - not him. I’m taking this month to do it because every time I saw him before it knocked me a bit, this is my opportunity to build myself up without him chipping away at it.

Thank you all so much though! I’m off to drink more water!

Do you really have to see him in a month. Can you not get out of it somehow? I don’t know what kind of thing it is, but can you not change an appointment or just not go.
I’d not go and then still concentrate on myself. Not just physically (although this bit can be fun), but mentally too. I’d maybe see a councillor, but also doing fun stuff like ice skating, holidays, get a dog, do stuff you always wanted to do, but haven’t for whatever reason.

I’d also recommend weight lifting for exercise, there is nothing better than feeling physically stronger for making you feel like a badass!

Help please ladies, my skin is falling off 😫

I’ve been religious about double cleansing - the Estée Lauder one for double wear foaming wash, followed by a no 7 cream cleanser. Then toner, and then I’ve been using the Superdrug radiant glycolic overnight cream.

The skin on my cheeks looks amazeballs..... my chin however, has massive boil like spots all along my jaw line. It’s horrible! Is this just a phase I have to push through?!

In other news, I took my eyelash extensions off last night ready to go back on fresh today, and my son recoiled in horror and said I looked like an old lady

So, all in all. Chin spots and old lady face game is strong!!

Last few days the diet has been pants, and I’ve had some fizzy drinks, so going to try renew my commitment to this over the next week.

Sadly ohchristmastree I have to see him as we have kids at the same school. I actually used to do weight lifting in an old sawdust on the floor type gym near me and I LOVED it. I will def look into going backthere, as the commeraderie was brill and I did feel totally badass! I’d totally forgotten that - thank you!

Be outside as much as possible, regardless of the weather.
It means you burn more calories, exercise more, socialize more , smile more , feel stronger, sleep better, and tend to crave healthy/er treats .
It gives you that fresh glow, that quiet confident energy that says "I live"

Notthendgam that’s the glow in after..... but..... I’m very northern, have you seen the weather out there

I am in Canada

They make coats for that

I’d recommend finding a tall, tattooed 6ft 6 Scandinavian cage fighter or the equivalent and having some fabulous carefree sex for a while. Did the trick for me.
Puts an insouciant smile on your face, a spring in your step and a glow in your cheeks. He will know exactly how you’ve got that look and it will be the best way to send the “I’m over you my lad “ message.

Because you should be.

Although retail therapy and all that is very good too

Lots of water, lots of fresh air. Haircut, eyebrows, nails. (and chin of course!)

I wouldn't worry overly about losing weight, I'd concentrate more on finding really nice clothes that fit and flatter, and that make you feel good about yourself.

With regards to the eating, splash out on really good but perhaps more expensive versions of what you like. Feed your soul by enjoying your food, you'll find you eat less crap that way.

Eatmycheese that idea is become more and more appealing. Ex sent me a message “by accident” meant for his new girlfriend.... blurgh!

Honestly, my chin hairs are now practically invisible against the spot eruptions on there! Would you guys continue with the skin care routine or, er, something else?

We are going away tomorrow so I’m hoping for lovely food, lovely friends and a smidge of fresh air. I can’t wait!!

Though that would sound like a good idea 😉
I’d stop faffing with the chin situation just leave it to breathe.a d as for the message meant for his girlfriend that’s tragic 🤮🤮🤮

Hope you have a great time away and enjoy yourself

First thing I'd do is sign up for an intensive daily weight training programme. Weight drops off, muscles tone and you feel strong. When you feel strong, you feel good. Power yoga too, to keep you super supple while you are increasing strength, and because yoga helps you fele calm and helps with posture and ease of movement, so you get more naturally graceful.

Next, drink loads of water, eat lots of lean protein and veg, cut out sugar and go very easy on alcohol or cut it out entirely. Same with refined carbs.

Nearer the time, get brows and nails done and a really good, subtle hair cut - not a 'he dumped me so I got a purple pixie crop' hair cut (unless you already have that sort of hair.)

Light fake tan, teeth bleach, Botox, new clothes, groomed brows, fab hair, perfect make up x

Really great beauty advice but can I add boring safety advice. The year after splitting with a violent ex is the time when women are most at risk of being killed or seriously injured by that ex, other high risk time is when you are pregnant. As he has already caused you bruises I would count you as in this risk category so if you do have to meet him make a safety plan, meet him in public, preferably have someone trusted with you (not your child) have a charged mobile phone with you and get someone to call you about twenty minutes in so you have a get out of jail pass. Make sure friends/family know where and when you are going to meet him. Don't leave your phone out of sight with him.
Also look amazing and swish that hair.

Can't believe that noone has mentioned mummmy2017's suggestion of a secret message.
I love it and can just imagine the power of having that inward joke.

Get onto the 30 day shred. That will physically transform within a month. It did for me. And because you’re noticing results quickly you eat healthier (I found). I agree re lots of water And sleep. The excercise wi be good for your skin too. Start running. That’s amazing for my body skin and mental well-being. Don’t do lip fillers. I’ve seen beautiful friends look crap after them.

I just thought I’d check in and say thank you for the new messages. Gooden I really appreciate your concern, I will be in a public place and he will probably either avoid me or make a point of being overly polite when he sees me. There will be lots of people around though, so I’m okay.

I’m honestly feeling really down in the dumps to be honest. We are on holls and I’ve probably drank too much red wine and eaten too much crap, and we are surrounded by happy families. It’s feeling a bit, I dunno, tough.

Going to have an early night and try and wake up more positive tomorrow - the plus side is mind that I’ve def done a LOT of walking in the fresh (cold, rainy!) air! My skin better look amazing soon for this!

Thanks everyone

I'm sorry you are in a funk, but you will come through stronger. It sounds like you are doing the right things, and it will he so worth it.
You are the best investment you will ever come across!

he didn’t want me getting my nails / lashes done any more because my beautician texted me once saying she was worried about some bruises I had and asking if i was okay

This 'man' is not worth a second of your time or energy. Do the things in this thread but for you. Please don't do anything that makes you feel miserable, like drastic weight loss. Do things that make you so happy that you even forget which day it is you are going to see him.

Thank you both. I think today’s down in the dumps is proof is easier to focus on the physical side of things then the mental one. I will wake up tomorrow feeling stronger. I want to feel happy and free again, but it’s very much fake it till you make it at the moment