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Original poster

You’re brave to wear that.

84 replies

Villanellesproudmum · 06/12/2018 23:47

What would you think of someone you didn’t know came up to you and said that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Villanellesproudmum · 07/12/2018 07:45

Thank you ladies for making me feel better, also never heard of negging! Learn something new everyday.

Currently having room service breakfast one of the perks of having to go to the works Christmas party.

OP posts:
fringegrin45 · 07/12/2018 07:46

I also think he was negging you

I would totally wear that jacket btw xx

Original poster
Villanellesproudmum · 07/12/2018 07:46

Rate your look Grin damn that would have be an excellent comeback!!

OP posts:
Lobsterquadrille2 · 07/12/2018 08:10

Lovely jacket. I would absolutely bet that it was a clumsy chat up line. He probably lives with his mother, is called Timothy and has a wardrobe full of Christmas jumpers - "brave" was the only adjective he could think of at the time. What a shame that it ruined your evening because you must have looked fabulous!

MoltonSilver · 07/12/2018 08:42

He's an idiot with poor social skills. He probably said it to lots of women all night regardless of what they were wearing. It's got nothing to do with you and your lovely jacket and everything to do with him being an idiot.

Bluntness100 · 07/12/2018 08:49

He's an idiot with poor social skills

That's a bit harsh, he only said you're brave to wear that in relation to a lightweight jacket in winter. I think it's fairly obvious what he meant. Clearly he should have said "you're brave to wear that it's miserable out" but probably assumed it was obvious. Confused

ErrolTheDragon · 07/12/2018 08:49

Hope you had a lovely breakfast!

Next time you're going out, maybe run your choice by S&B first - I'm not a regular here but there are so many helpful people here, their opinion is much better than some random bloke's.

championquartz · 07/12/2018 09:11

Bit of a dick.

Lovely jacket, entirely appropriate for a xmas night out.
Next time, pause, look him in the eye, and say 'oh, how so'. I find that little bit of a challenge nips things in the bud nicely.

Completely lovely jacket.

BlancheM · 07/12/2018 09:18

It just means it's a fab jacket as opposed to a plain one! Oh OP I hope you're feeling better today Thanks

Weirdlookingbricks · 07/12/2018 09:20

Obviously it's a stupid comment but if you let it ruin your evening to the extent that you left, maybe you need to develop your resilience. People say twatty things all the time. It's their problem not yours. I bet you looked just fine.
Also yes to a pp. Call him out on it. I love watching people cluster when I say 'What do you mean by that exactly?'Grin

Weirdlookingbricks · 07/12/2018 09:21

Fluster not cluster - I'm not that scary Grin

KnitFastDieWarm · 07/12/2018 09:22

Unless he said it with a proper sneer on I’d guess he meant it in the sense of ‘where’s your coat, it’s winter’.
If he did say it in a sneery way, he’s not worth wasting another second of your mental energy on. Can you imagine being so pathetic that as a grown adult you feel the need to insult random people’s clothing choices?
It’s a great jacket btw!

SavageBeauty73 · 07/12/2018 09:29

Lovely jacket!! I want it.

Did he mean brave as it's cold?

I'd have ignored him.

beanaseireann · 07/12/2018 12:42

Love the jacket.
He's an idiot.
Don't give him another thought

Mercurial123 · 07/12/2018 14:59

It's a nice jacket even if it wasn't it shouldn't ruin your night he's a stranger he means nothing to you.

Mercurial123 · 07/12/2018 15:00

But yes he could easily meant it's too cold. Are you usually so sensitive?

Hannnnnnnxo · 07/12/2018 15:14

I’ve never had this and I’m notorious for not dressing for the weather. I live in dresses/skirts and heels, even in rain/snow/freezing temperatures Grin its a bit of a weird comment from a random.

Being honest, your outfit doesn’t sound remarkable (as in not risqué, unfashionable, unflattering etc) it sounds on par for Christmas parties. The jacket is just standard ‘Christmas party sequins’ typical at this time of year. So I think he was just trying to flirt or being a twat, rather than there actually being anything wrong with you as you looked fine!

Original poster
Villanellesproudmum · 07/12/2018 18:51

Well after breakfast I popped back to the office and found out he said something nasty to our HR director, something she won’t repeat and when another colleague left he tried to get into her taxi with her, sounds as though he was spoiling for a fight with someone. Know one knew who he was.

Thank you for the lovely comments.

Yes should build my resistance, I’ve come to a realisation in the last 24 hrs I’ve changed beyond recognition, years ago I would have come back with a suitable response.

I work from home full time and can go easy a week or two without leaving the house or seeing another adult and seemed to have developed a huge lack of confidence around other people in groups, I felt very out of my depth and very uncomfortable last night and his comment was the final straw.

I used to be very social, confident, dealt with dangerous situations. I actually don’t know what’s happened to me, pretty shitty really. I’m not sure if it’s possible to develop a sort of agoraphobia I feel a shadow of my forma self. Not sure what’s happened to me. What a mess.

OP posts:
TantricTwist · 07/12/2018 18:59

At least you know now that you looked fabulous and that he was an arse.

I hope you had a chat with the HR director about what a twat he was and how upset he made you feel and that it ruined your night.
Maybe she will also have ideas as to how you can connect with other staff as you work from home so you don't feel so isolated.

Original poster
Villanellesproudmum · 07/12/2018 19:09

@tantric thank you you’re right I think in a odd way he has done me a favour. My manager took me aside before I left today, we meet only twice a year but she is also now a good friend, we have worked together years and she said she had noticed a wasn’t myself and is going to look into how I can be less isolated. I feel embarrassed as I’m usually the strong one in the team who sorts all the stuff out other people don’t want, the tough calls to make. I think I’ve unknowingly developed an issue I was unaware and bought to the fore last night. Onward and upwards. X

OP posts:
MoltonSilver · 07/12/2018 19:28

You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. You may not have had a firm response to the comment but you didn't stay and smile and continue a conversation that you were uncomfortable with. You removed yourself from the situation. Nothing wrong with that.

Your manager sounds like a good ally.

Onwards and upwards indeed Flowers

HildaZelda · 07/12/2018 20:33

I have a sequin mini-dress OP. Your colleague would think I was incredibly heroic!

Casmama · 08/12/2018 10:49

Glad to hear you are managing to put it behind OP.
Maybe you could look into other social activities that are not work related to help you get out and about a bit more. I can easily imagine how I could lose my confidence if I was to start working from home but hopefully you will find it comes back quite quickly now you have identified the issue and are planning ways to change things.

skybluee · 08/12/2018 11:07

Sounds like he was drunk and going around trying to prod people with comments. Sad.

Completely disregard it, sounds like his opinion isn't worth much. He must've said something really bad to the HR director if she won't repeat it, and has probably damaged his reputation at work, so hold your head up and move on.

TSSDNCOP · 08/12/2018 11:16

So the jacket incident was an unexpected success insofar as you’ve realised that you’ve got some problems to work out with a boss who’s going to help you.

And Oddman will likely get a nasty shock come Monday.

So all is well. I’d make sure to wear that jacket again, it clearly has super-powers.