Spots/acne turning me into a rubbish mum

[Troton]

I’ve had acne since I was 13, I’m now 28. It’s been controlled to various degrees over the years with lotions and potions, antibiotics and one course of roaccutane a couple of years ago. It’s currently really bad but as I’m bf my 9 month old I’m limited as to what medications I can take. I’d like to stop bf so I can sort my skin out but baby is so very attached to the boob that I keep putting it off.
The thing is while my skin is awful my confidence is rock bottom. I don’t want to see anyone or take my baby or toddler out to playgroups. I’m angry at my skin and in turn taking out my frustration on the kids and having no patience. I feel like such a crap Mum. I also can’t help worrying that me and my husband have made children that will suffer terribly with their skin (he has very very bad psoriasis) and I feel incredibly guilty about it.
Any suffererers or ex sufferers have any advice? And anyone who doesn’t suffer - how much do you notice acne on other people. I don’t mean a few spots I mean lots angry red pustular spots that are very hard to cover up.
😢

I would go and see your GP. Even if you can't go back onto Roaccutane, there are other topical treatments that may be suitable.

How bad is bad? I'm like you, had nasty spots from the age of 13 until now (mid 30s!). Always sore ones that bubble up under the skin but never come to a head.

Only thing that seems to keep them away for me is 5% benzoyl peroxide cream once a day. You can use it twice a day but I don't need to. Youn buy it over the counter in the chemist, the brand name is Acnecide. It works by injecting tiny puffs of air in to your pores, forcing any bacteria out. Good thing about it is your skin can't become resistant to it. Only downside really is it makes your skin kind of dry, I have oily skin so I use Neutrogena Visibly Clear Spot Proofing Moisturiser afterwards 🙂.

Check re breast feeding first, I never had kids so don't know but I'm using spearmint tea twice a day and my skins calming down a lot.

I've had a hormonal flare from the contraceptive implant aggravating my poly cystic ovary syndrome and the spots were huge red boils that nothing helped.

Avoid sugar/high carb foods, the spike in insulin affects skin and causes spots but I cant remember how.

Huge sympathy from me OP, I completely understand how you feel.
I have seen huge improvement using acnecide. It’s powerful stuff and beware it bleaches pillowcases and towels etc but it really has helped me.
I use a la Roche Posay toleraine moisturiser which helps counter the drying effect.
I agree about watching your sugar intake and make sure you don’t have a yeast infection as this makes my spots so much worse.
I think it is easy to view your skin as worse than it really is and to think that is all people see when they look at you but honestly I think people are so wrapped up in their own lives, own problems and self doubts they aren’t focusing on someone else’s spots.
I completely get how it knocks your confidence though.
Oh and finally try try try not to pick. I know it can be so hard but it doesn’t help.

Oh OP I know exactly how you feel! I've had acne from age 13 to now (currently mid 30s) and breastfeeding a 3 month old so also have limited options for controlling it.
I don't want to push advice on you because there is nothing worse than people trying to give 'helpful' suggestions when you've tried literally everything going over the last 20 years, but for me I found following a low GI diet really helped. My skin was quite bad during my pregnancy but then in my last trimester I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and had a major diet change. As soon as I stopped eating high carb high sugar foods my skin cleared up almost overnight - I didn't get a single spot during my third trimester which for me was something of a miracle!!
With regards to what other people think - I think it will always look worse to you than it does to other people because if you're anything like me you zone in on your spots when you look in the mirror, but other people aren't doing that so they really won't notice.
Maybe try and focus on features of your face that you like when you look in the mirror, and give yourself a little compliment instead of focussing on the negatives and getting disheartened. Acne can have such a huge impact on mental health and I think half the battle is just learning to be a bit kinder to ourselves.
I bet you're doing an amazing job as a mumma, you obviously care a lot otherwise you wouldn't be worrying in the first place! Don't be too hard on yourself xx

Acne sucks OP. There's no point anybody telling you other people don't notice etc They most likely don't notice as much as you do. But that won't stop you feeling so self conscious.

I used to feel so angry too. Would put me off going out also. And I wouldn't let anyone see me with no makeup on. Felt like a monster.

I hate people telling me to try this and that too when you most likely have tried everything. But the only thing that worked for me was Benzoyl peroxide. I came across the acne.org website in my early 20s. Haven't looked back. I notice if I slip up my skin starts to break out again. I now use the regime once daily. As other posters have said it bleaches everything. So I try to stick to white towels and pillow cases.

It's awful at the start because it dries your skin out. Used it throughout pregnancy and breastfeeding.

I buy the 8ounce tube to avoid US import tax. A lot of people selling it now on eBay for extortionate prices!! You're better off ordering it yourself from acne.org.

I had terrible bouts of cystic acne until I had to give up dairy as DD was cows milk intolerant & I was bf her. About a month after giving up (had to give up all milk proteins, so any trace of lutein, casein etc in anything) , I had the best skin ever. Also had a lower sugar intake as a result of no dairy and lost a load of weight. I wish I continued hard core no dairy but now just have no cows milk and avoid cheese and yogurt and have not had cystic acne since (still get minor hormonal breakouts and acne with some silicone products though).

This is obvs only a solution if your acne is diet related but may be worth a try.

Ps the benzoyl peroxide is 2.5% strength. Far less drying than the stronger ones and works just as well

I swear by Pixi Glow Tonic. Sorted my skin right out.

I notice acne in others but I don't care. I also notice if someone is tall/short fat/thin blond/brunette. You are overthinking what people might think about your appearance. Ime they're mostly occupied with their own appearance anyway.

My DS and I had acne for many years from our early twenties. She has 4 DC, all now adults, I didn't have any. One of her DS had problem skin, the other 3, 2 DS & one DD, have always had lovely clear skin. The DS with acne had laser treatment which has permanently cleared up his skin. My DS, their DM, no longer has acne. I was still getting spots up until a couple of years ago. I heard about Neutrogena spot stress control facial scrub with salicylic, and have been using it for 2 years now and it has cleared up my skin completely.

Acne is absolutely heartbreaking. I've had spots throughout my life. I'm now late 30s and it's very much controlled. I definitely think it's good skincare and a clean diet. Either that or I've grown out of it finally.
People have said I have lovely skin which feels alien to me as it takes so much effort to keep it clear!

Op, I'd definitely see your gp and see what you can do.
Just remember you notice it more than anybody.
Hugs

I use decleor products. Although they're not for spots as such, I think because they're natural I don't react to it.

OP, take a look at the Fantastic Skincare thread. I used to be on it, properly sorted my skin out. Roaccutane didn't fully work for me, either.

OP acne sucks. Even more so when you are BF and treatment is restricted (been there ).

I think about what my DCs skin will be like when they are older as DH had acne as a teen and I suffer from hormonal acne. The advantage my kids have is that I have the benefit of experience and will ensure that they get the treatment they need and will be well educated in best way to look after their skin! (We never got that from our parents!)

Inflammation of the skin makes acne and look so much redder in my experience. I have to really baby my skin with a gentle cleanser (pref ph 5.5) and a gentle moisturiser (pref with Ceramides if I’m using topical acne treatment that dries the skin). Benzoyl peroxide according to studies is the most effective treatment and prevention topically. It’s the best topical treatment for me but can be drying to the skin. Check out the acne regimen for more info. Azelaic acid is a gentler alternative (But i’ve had limited success with this).

Have you been to GP to discuss options available to you?

Acne is horrible OP .

I had nothing until I turned 17, when all of a sudden my entire forehead filled with painful, huge, white pimples. It was so obvious that it literally made me cry.

During uni I kept fighting it and used to get big cysts that needed draining, until 22, when it seemed clear. At 23 I started the pill and all my face filled with acne (I have scars left). Just wanted to give you a virtual hug, and to ask your GP. It seems silly, but they are there to help you. Mine did.

Thank you all for your replies. I mean it so much, it really helps and I’m sorry that a lot of you are struggling too with acne.
Sorry I’ve only just had chance to log back on and I’m on my own tonight with putting the kids to bed so will reply in more detail later...but....I’ve been using the benzoyl peroxide 2.5% from acne.org it burns the hell out of my skin but over the last few months I’ve been able to build up to tolerating it applied almost every night. Then azelaic acid in the morning.
BP does help but not completely get rid of it but I can’t apply it on the more sensitive areas of my face at all. I thought it was helping quite a bit but just recently had another massive breakout despite being religious with the benzoyl peroxide.
I’ve also taken erythromycin antibiotics on and off both while pregnant and breast feeding and they help but the doctor said not to stay on them long term due to resistance. They make me feel very very sick though so it’s not really an option anyway as I can barely get through the day on them.
I’m going to try a low sugar diet and low dairy as well. I have completely eliminated both before while pregnant in an attempt to help my skin but didn’t stick it out long enough to see a difference because I lost weight very rapidly and I’m already quite skinny and didn’t want any effects on the baby. So this time I’m going to try and just to low sugar and low dairy rather than eliminate every trace and see if I see any improvement.
It is soul destroying.
I’m supposed to be going out later tonight and I’m trying to think of excuses what won’t make me a let down to my friends 😢 I actually really want to go but feel so self conscious.
Why oh why do some people get such a bad deal when it comes to skin.
Thank you again ladies, I feel less alone and I’m grateful for that x

Erythromycin doesn't suit me either.

Not sure how I forgot this but I did. OP I have also been using an LED face mask. It’s a bit of investment as they are expensive and pretty uncomfortable to use but I saw the benefits quite quickly.
My skin is so improved I am only using it a couple of times a week now instead of every day. Might be something for you to think about.
Please also hassle your GP. I wish I had done so a long time ago.
💐

Nutrogena do a LED face mask now - it’s reasonably priced I think but only has 30 daily uses in it then you have to buy a new ‘activator’ but it might be worth a try OP?

www.amazon.co.uk/Neutrogena-Visibly-Clear-Light-Therapy/dp/B01N5OBXFY?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Op, I mean this gently, if it's impacting your mood and how you parent as you say, taking it out on the kids and having no patience, then it's maybe time to stop breastfeeding, nine months is plenty old enough. The benefit of a happy mum will far outweigh any breastfeeding benefits as this stage.

I have absolutely no experience of acne at all but I reckon changing your diet could be a start. Replace the dairy and sugar with fats and veggies. Almonds, salmon, spinach. Nut butters on fruit is a good snack.

Please please be kinder to yourself, I’m so sorry you are going through this. Once you are done breastfeeding, try roaccutane again, I’ve been on it twice and it’s worked wonders. Needed a year on it this time (48). My beautiful daughter had all the signs of inheriting my bad skin, took her straight to the dermatologist Nd she has been on a low dose accutane for 2 years, you would never guess there’s a problem.

Time to go back to the gp, explain exactly how bad you feel and ask for a referral to a dermatologist again to discuss options.

Sounds like it would be worth a second course of Roaccutane (I had 3 in total in my late 20s/early 30s).

If it's any consolation, my three dcs are all early 20s and have all (so far) had good skin - just a few teenage spots, nothing much.