Spots/acne turning me into a rubbish mum

[Troton]

I’ve had acne since I was 13, I’m now 28. It’s been controlled to various degrees over the years with lotions and potions, antibiotics and one course of roaccutane a couple of years ago. It’s currently really bad but as I’m bf my 9 month old I’m limited as to what medications I can take. I’d like to stop bf so I can sort my skin out but baby is so very attached to the boob that I keep putting it off.
The thing is while my skin is awful my confidence is rock bottom. I don’t want to see anyone or take my baby or toddler out to playgroups. I’m angry at my skin and in turn taking out my frustration on the kids and having no patience. I feel like such a crap Mum. I also can’t help worrying that me and my husband have made children that will suffer terribly with their skin (he has very very bad psoriasis) and I feel incredibly guilty about it.
Any suffererers or ex sufferers have any advice? And anyone who doesn’t suffer - how much do you notice acne on other people. I don’t mean a few spots I mean lots angry red pustular spots that are very hard to cover up.
😢

How much do you drink? I found 2.5-3.5l of fluid improved mine a lot and I noticed it within about 3-4 weeks. You don't have PCOS do you? Since I went on metformin mine has virtually vanished too.

I gave up breastfeeding at about that stage because I had a huge self esteem thing about weight. I have naturally huge tits and am a person who doesn't lose a lot of weight while breastfeeding and I got just so down about being fat and having these great barrage balloons strapped on my front. Felt better within 3 weeks.

It may be better for both of you to complete breastfeeding and move to a course of roacc or similar. Your child has had 9mo of great nutrition and now needs you to feel emotionally well.

I haven't read through the replies, but wanted to chime in.

I've always suffered awfully from acne. I remember when I was breastfeeding my first, laying in bed with my face so sore, thinking "I can't remember when it was last this bad!". I think hormonally it's a rocky time.

My skin is for the most part cleared up now. I'm 27 btw and have had acne since I was 12. But for me it was a combination of things and it took a while! It's slow and I still get some small spots but honestly it's nothing like before and it's a massive relief.

First of all, I cut dairy. I simply can't have it. Over time I react more strongly to it than "just" hormonal imbalances and spots, it's to the point now where if I have ice cream I get awful stomach aches but that's recent. For years my only symptom was the skin. I also try to stay away from gluten and sugar as they also aggravate my system.

I also drink probiotics every morning, first thing I do. Because your gut health directly affects your skin. When I stop taking probiotics and start slacking on the diet, I get spots again instantly.

I use a variety of natural products on my skin - when I remove my makeup, I do so with oils. You can use argan oil or a variety of other oils for this. Put a layer on your face and wait a few minutes. The oil pushes dirt out of your pores. Warm wet cloth and wash it all off after. You'll have a clean face that has been gently exfoliated, no harsh chemicals.
I also use clay masks once or twice a week if my skin is playing up. They also clean your face and draw out impurities and soothe your skin. They make the spots come to a head, so don't be alarmed if I seems to get "worse" at first. It's just getting rid of everything you don't want.
(You can actually get clay to drink too which can wash out bad things in your gut and improve your skin and it helps too but is vile)

I find using an oil like vitamin E oil or castor oil as a moisturiser or soothing treatment for my skin can be really good. I'll either put a thick layer on for an hour and wash it off or I'll put a thin layer on and sleep with it. It promotes healing and is antibacterial.

Remember, after you wash your face, cold water on it can be a good idea. Closes pores.

The one thing I use which is harsh is a 5% benzoyl peroxide cream. It does help. I apply it once a day to a clean face.

A lot of the harsher medicine and antibiotics mess up your gut, which as I mentioned messes up your skin. Whenever I have to use antibiotics I have to take a shitload of probiotics or my stomach and face really suffer. Acne is usually best dealt with as naturally as you can manage it to be.

Good luck!!! I know it's shit.

Hi op,

As a few others have said, you have done an amazing breastfeeding for 9 months.

But it might be time to look after your own needs. The hormone changes from pregnancy and feeding will have had a huge impact on your skin, not to mention the bloody exhaustion.

You’ve all got me sobbing now. I think I needed the virtual pat on the back for breastfeeding but it’s ok to stop now type chat.
I gave up bf my first at 7 months to go on roaccutane and two weeks after I gave up we all contracted the most awful sickness/diorrhea bug. Me. My husband and baby pretty much lived in the bathroom for 3 days. Anyway, me and husband got over it but my now 3 year old was so poorly and also managed to get tonsillitis and pneumonia at the same time. It was very scary he was so drowsy and unresponsive and ended up in hospital for a week on drips/antibiotics etc and he looked ill for weeks and weeks afterwards. He’s got scar tissue on his lungs from the pneumonia and now gets chest infections regularly. Ever since I’ve always blamed myself and wondered if I hadn’t of stopped bf him would he have not got so poorly?
It is what is keeping me bf with this baby...but....
You are right, I need to make myself a happier Mum again in order to be a good Mum. I’m going to book a gp appt and ask for a referral back to dermatology again. They did refer me when I was pregnant but the dermatologist basically said come back when you’ve had the baby and stopped bf as the best choice is another course of roaccutane. I’m not particularly looking forwards to taking it, it did work but with considerable side effects and the effects of it wore off after about 18 months. I think I will need a longer course this time.
I do have the Neutrogena mask. I used it consistently for around a month and didn’t see any improvement, but...I will start using it again as it won’t do any harm.
Did my first day of low sugar/dairy yesterday and felt a bit better in myself in that even if it doesn’t help my skin at least it’s a healthy thing to do and I ate lots of nutritious fruit/veg/nuts etc yesterday and drank gallons of spearmint and chamomile tea.
Thank you as well to those of you who have said that your dc haven’t been effected in their teens/twenties or those that have at least you have the experience of acne yourself and have been able to get successful treatment for them. My confidence has been battered so much over the last 15 years to the point where I don’t region it’ll ever recover. I have missed so many opportunities and feel like my skin has stopped me living my life to it’s full potential I am so determined not to let my beautiful dc’s don’t have to go through that.

Hi there. I’m another one with lifelong acne struggles and gestational diabetes that has ended up (I think) Helping my skin via diet change. BUT. BUT. I see you say “cut dairy and sugar” . I agree but can I gently suggest you try telling yourself instead that you will ENHANCE protein in your diet as well as veg (for me an egg/veg breakfast has been life changing). Definitely don’t cut carbs entirely but more importantly try not to think of yourself as on a restrictive regime. You’re BF so you need calories. And restriction IMO is a good route to bingeing and misery. Be kind to yourself ! Also, try an acne support group on FB for community and peer cheerleading. Good luck !

Had acne right into early 30s and it absolutely sucks
My experience though is people notice it far less than you think. I certainly don’t with other people but with my own I used to love a good look in the magnifying mirror each morning and really stress myself out. It’s hard but just remember that most of the time people see the person rather than the skin.
But it’s so so hard I know I’ve been there.
Lots of advice on here but for me it was giving up meat and dairy and then I punched it properly in the balls with differin which you can get through online pharmacies. studies have shown that it’s safe to use when bf BUT they still seem to advise not to which is strange but understandable that they are super super careful with anything like this.

I've got the Neutrogena mask and a led mask with over 100 leds, when the contraceptive implant affected me it was no help.

I've had it removed and drink spearmint tea which is working after 4 days. The led mask is helping again now, they don't work on hormonal based spots or severe acne.

The red lights are very good for scarring though.

Superdrug do an overnight glycolic treatment, it's very good.

I suffered awfully after kids came along, have stripped everything right back and finally seem to have got somewhere. I stopped sugar and dairy, used acnecide and castor oil only for makeup remover. Changed foundation to dermablend (had used mac/doublewear and tons of concealer). It took a while but seems to have worked, haven't had to use acnecide for a while now and have been able to add in avene extreme tolerance moisturiser and a non comedogenic bb cream for days i don't want full coverage makeup.

I’m going to try a low sugar diet and low dairy as well. I have completely eliminated both before while pregnant in an attempt to help my skin but didn’t stick it out long enough to see a difference because I lost weight very rapidly and I’m already quite skinny and didn’t want any effects on the baby. So this time I’m going to try and just to low sugar and low dairy rather than eliminate every trace and see if I see any improvement.

^^

To make sure you don't lose too much weight make sure you eat plenty of fat.

33year acne sufferer here -what worked for me:
No dairy
No sugar
Check out oestrogen dominance on youtube and consider a DIM supplement plus a Liver support and Cortisol support supplement - these have MASSIVELY reduced my outbreaks - I have had two acute courses of roaccutane and a long low strength course - it only works whilst on it and then a few months later,all comes back. I think women's acne doesn't get cured by roaccutane as the underlying issue is hormonal. This is why the DiM supplement is working so well for me.
Antibiotics never do anything - don't waste time with them if you needed roaccutane.
If you didn't want to go down the supplement route, you could ask GP about spironolactone.
Try to minimise stress as cortisol production is our enemy as it reduces progesterone which increases the oestrogen dominance and increases aldosterone which is the hormone which stimulates the sebaceous glands.
I am literally turning into a caricature of a middle aged woman but seriously it's all about calm, good diet ( try a green smoothie every morning with spinach and cucumber and apple to sweeten), exercise , yes Yoga!, drinking at least 2.5 litres water per day, minimal/no alcohol and coffee.
I also feel lime acne has stoken a lot of my life from me and I definitely turned down opportunities because if it - can't swim as couldn't risk make up coming off in pool, lost a lot of friends when had to turn down holidays/social occasions. I also drank too much alcohol in my 20s due to low self esteem and dated awful men whk treated me terribly.
I too worry about my daughters getting acne and now my attack against it isn't just for me but for them too in the future if they need the help - I cross everythig that they won't as it would break my heart.
Your little one getting ill didn't have anything to do with stopping breastfeeding - it was just a coincidence and you all got ill at the same time - please don't bkame yourself fkr that - you sound like a great mum
I also wanted to xay continue with the LED mask -and consider Aztek Clay mask for 10 minutes every night- just mix with water not apple cider vinegar as maybe too harsh. Also careful with BP and azelaic acid - your skin may try to just increase it's oil production to compensate for being dried out.
Topically I just double cleanse with African Ghanian soap - amazing then Aztek mask then Soolantra (I also have rosacea lol)
In the morning just the soap then my sunscreen - Etude House Airy finjsh spf 50. The simpler the skincare the better - your acne is an internal problem and needs dealing with internally not by external products. It's all about diet,managing stress and balanci g hkrmones with supplements.
Big hug sweetheart - I've been exactly where you are so many times - acne is just evil.

I can’t believe how many of you have had such success with Cutting dairy and sugar! How long did it take for you to notice any improvement? I’m finding it fairly easy so far the only thing I’m really missing is a splash of milk in tea and butter. I’ve always been a lover of butter!
I’ll have a good read up on the other suggestions too once the kids are in bed.
Lowering stress is definitely a hard one as I’m only stressed because of my bad skin so just go round in circles!

To counter everyone's success I'm allergic to cows milk and haven't eaten it for 13 years.

Its made no difference.

Another sufferer here -what has made a massive difference to me when pregnant or breast feeding is taking a high dose B vitamin compound. B5 and B6 seem to be particularly important. So effective I can tell when I’ve forgotten to take it for a while by how my skin is deteriorating.

I cut out dairy and used soya milk instead and my acne got much worse. Soya milk has vitamin B12 added and I think this might have caused the problem but am not at all sure.

Soy milk is pro oestrogenic so would make acne worse. Hemp milk is best but also oat or coconut good.

Mine probably took about a month to get better having cut out dairy and sugar - you need to cut both out - you can still have natural fruit sugar just no processed cakes sweets etc. If I slip up, I get a lump around 2 days later.
I know what you mean about stress all coming from the acne but try sitting just before bed, close your eyes and keep repeating over and over internally "I am beautiful" - first time I did it, I felt like an idiot but after a few weeks, something clicks and I didn't feel so stressed about looking in the mirror first thing in the morning. Also playing meditative music at home is good - it also has an amazing effect on calming little ones.

@troton it took about six weeks (I gave up dairy and meat but haven’t given up sugar although to be fair dairy is in chocolate and cakes so you pretty much do it automatically - I still eat all the carbs though)
To begin with it did get worse but now so much better.
Saying that though I think some of it is the volume of other healthy stuff you have to eat to make sure you’re getting the calories - there’s no getting away from the fact you have to eat loads of vegetables and fruit - I am sure that makes a difference.
Doesn’t work for everyone but worked for me.

I understand your frustration OP. I have had multiple courses of Roaccutane myself. For me, I eventually found that Yasmine contraceptive pill has made the effects of the Roaccutane last. So the last time I was on it was 7 years ago. You just need to find the solution that works for you, I think seeing your doctor is the right step. Good luck!

Thank you violet bunny.
I feel so down today. Various contributing factors as lots of things going on at the moment but I feel like I can’t deal with all that life is throwing at me because of my skin. Because it takes up so much of my time thinking and worrying about it and in practical terms having to get up an hour earlier than most normal people to painstakingly try and cover it up/apply various spot creams etc etc then all
Over again in the evening. When with two little ones I just want to say a great big slab of chocolate cake then fall into bed!!
So frustrating

Troton - how I remember the hour in the bathroom on a morning! I know it's soul destroying. It really impacted my life in my 20s. I'd pass up social occasions and some days ring in sick to work because of my skin. For many years the first thing I'd do on waking was touch my face to see what painful lumps had appeared on my face overnight. For a few years I had it on my neck, back and chest as well as my face. So I really do understand and sympathise with how you feel.

For me Roaccutane helped me get on top of it and then bizarrely it pretty much cleared up as soon as I got pregnant and since then I've only had occasional spots (got one on my chin now and I'm 59!).

You really do need to see your gp and get a referral to a dermatologist as soon as possible. I hope you're lucky and get one like mine. He was wonderful and would patiently listen while I sobbed my heart out to him.

Just a word of caution about dcs. As I mentioned earlier, none of mine seem to have inherited the problem (though my acne seems to be genetic as dsis suffered similarly as did df). But I was so anxious and determined I would get whatever help they needed, I probably made the eldest at least overly self conscious about what were in effect just a few teenage spots. I backed off when he was about 14 and he said to me very loudly when we were out for a meal with relatives, "mum - I know I've got a spot on my chin - will you STOP looking at it!!"

Dermatica sorted my skin out, early menopause brought on horrible cystic spots. I started with a 1%clindamycin (antibiotic) , 0.025% tretinoin (retinoid) gel, then after the spots cleared I dropped the clindamycin and just use tretinoin too keep spots at bay and also for antiaging.

When you subscribe you do a little questionnaire, and upload some photos for the doc to look at, then they recommend a couple of choices for treatment. Totally worth the £20 a month for me.

Another long time sufferer here, 36 and still dealing with it. It has completely ruined by life and continues to do so.
I had it managable with a low carb/keto diet. My skin wasn't perfect but I wasn't get the massive cyst like spots at least.

Something has happened in the last few weeks that has made my skin go awol again, and it's really starting to affect me.

It could of been a number of things,I had some ice cream on my DD's birthday,before that I had something that had maltodexrin in it but didn't realise. I also stopped taking my vitamin D supplement ( I think this was the cause as its linked to acne)
Anyway it's not getting better.
I feel embarrassed to go to work and I avoid speaking to people which is not good for my career progression. People must think I'm rude. I have to spend a long time each morning applying makeup and usually rushing to get out the door on time most mornings, which is very stressful
It's impossible to avoid stress.

I've felt similar to you over the years, I've snapped at the kids unecessarily because I'm feeling crap and depressed. I've missed many social events, and lost friends.

I know that diet helps greatly, but that can be tough as I'm already socially left out, with my diet limitations I'm even more left out...so what's the point?!?
I'm trying to cut out dairy, i did try this many years ago with no difference but that was before I cut the sugar so I want to give it a go again, though I'm finding it tough. I don't have any real life support and I'm on my own with 2 kids.

I've tried so many different things over the past 20years and the only thing that made a significant difference was diet.

Another long term sufferer here. I'm 42 and have had 4 courses of roaccutane over the years. My skin was reasonably ok between the ages of 30 - 37, though I did take courses of antibiotics now and again. However, 2 years after I had my DC it erupted again. My acne is particularly bad on my neck and chest, as well as facial. I agonised for ages about going back to the doctor at 38 for yet more medication, however the moment they saw me they referred me to a dermatologist again. I have just finished a 'long and low' course of roccutane which has been a revelation, none of the horrible side effects and it has kept my skin very clear for 4 years now. I am worried about how it'll be again, but wouldn't hesitate about going back to the GP, I have faffed about for years trying all sorts of creams/potions, cutting stuff out, but the only thing that has had a significant improvement on my skin has been medication taken orally.

Good luck.

Oh Nelumbo you sound just like me. Exactly like me :-( I’m so sorry for you too.its miserable cutting out food groups to be honest isn’t it. And the for it to flare up again when you think it’s under control is just awful.

trickytree Lou yes I agree another course of roaccutane will be my way to go when I stop bf - going to ask about a long low dose. I do worry about the damage such a strong drug does though