Hop on, the train is about to leave frumpsville

[DULLDull]

I posted on chat a few days ago about this but thought this might be am even better place.

I am frumpy and I hate it.

I am 45, 3 stone overweight and a SAHM who feels has lost her mojo since motherhood descended 12 years ago.

I want to change so I am hoping to start a thread for any like minded fellow frumps.

I am thinking clothes, hair, make up, diet and style tips in one place to help release our inner goddess.

Anyone care to join?

I can relate to the teenage sons thing, I have s fashion conscious 16 year old son who likes to give me style advice 🙄 some good some not. I also have a 20 year old son who couldn't care less really about fashion and wears what he likes.

I do take note and like to keep fairly up to date with things but it's usually a mid to current fashion not the whole hog. I'm 50 in November, 6ft tall but about 3 stone overweight so I just can't wear some stuff so I tweak to suit me.

Nod to current fashion sorry not mid 😶

Good idea MM18. I’ve been planning a dental hygiene appointment for about 2 years

Just catching up with the thread. Sleep - so important! I'm going/have gone through the menopause (how do you know??) and Thursday night for whatever reason I couldn't sleep. Got up and ate toast and cereal, was knackered last night so consequently had no proper dinner, but chocolate, crisps and a whole bottle of wine . We make such poor decisions when we are knackered. Someone posted up thread about an oil from H&B - can I have more details please?

On a separate note I had a wardrobe sort out and I have no clothes that I love, and virtually no work tops. Going to have a bank holiday shopping trip but need some inspiration- anyone know any good sources of info on capsule wardrobes?

CBD oil - posted by Jane earlier. I then bought some from Holland and Barret. (This thread is costing me 😄)

It comes in two strengths, I got the 2.5% (and it’s get a second bottle for a penny). Tastes how I imagine bong water to taste 😄 too early to say if it’s having an effect. Am sticking with it.

Now read the full thread... it took me ages! So many different ideas etc to absorb... I fear that I too suffer from matronly norkage, I find it do hard to find clothes I feel right in, but if I had a slim boyish figure I know exactly what I would wear. I am teetering on the brink of clearing my wardrobe out and fear the outcome will be that I have no tops and only jeans and dresses left. I need a new capsule wardrobe for work but I am not sure of the dress code, apart from the usual education mantra of nothing too low cut or too short... the college I used to work in was very mixed but generally pretty casual but the new one I just don’t know, only been out of term time so no reference points but the setting is much less shabby, feels more professional I suppose... I have got staff meetings coming up this week so hopefully that will help but all feels last minute panic stations to re-define my style for the better in a few days

PS thanks for the tips on cutting nails I am rubbish a the polished nails thing so just need them to look neat and cared for. Oh and a tip I just got from my mum, her nails have been really weak and breaking and splitting and she was told to regularly rub jojoba oil into the cuticles and it has really worked!

Speaking of dental hygienist - does everyone floss?

I keep being told to (massively receding gums) but it just seems like another bloody thing to find time for and I really don't enjoy it. I use a good quality electric toothbrush at least twice a day for two minutes each time. Got hygienist in a couple of weeks and am sure she will tell me off again

I am not sleeping well. Having nightmares and trouble dropping off. I think I need to get back into a routine.

I am also tempted by Slimming World - would be good for both me and DH. Do you get all the info in the joining pack or is there a lot more to it than that?

@sassitudeandsparkle you get a welcome pack with some general info, recipes and syn info.

I went to one meeting (had a coupon from magazine so only paid £5 to join). But wasn't the group for me and I chickened out - wasn't in the right place mentally - so just started to do walking (4miles a day) and it's really helped and gives my brain a break too!

I do follow some successful slimming world people on Instagram but more for the healthy meal ideas!

It always reminds me of my mum and how she always used to be dieting, unsuccessfully, when I was growing up and I don't really want to be like that. I really enjoy being active and getting out with the kids so I'm just behaving like I'm an active, healthy eating, super cool person and hopefully my body will just catch up (and my kids pick up on it and do it too).

Sorry if that's not much help x

Please can I join? I'm mid thirties. Very short and chunky. I need to lose weight badly and stop looking so tired. I have good hair and good eyelashes (positive thinking is helpful!) Hate feeling uncomfortable in clothes so generally look like a scruff.

I'm also on holiday at the moment. It's an active type holiday so I'm hoping to burn off some calories. Interesting thoughts on different nationalities and dressing well on this thread. I agree that on the continent, women seem to know how to get it right. Brits are identifiable generally but I can't quite put my finger on why. Cheaper fabrics maybe? But then everything in the shops at the moment is bloody polyester so what hope do we have??

Thanks sunshine I have wondered about just buying a starter pack off eBay for some info and doing it online. There is a SW forum on here so should check that really!

Hold the door! Can I join you?

I’m 36, 5’9 and size 18. Have gained 4 dress sizes and 5 stone in the past 6 years due to chronic illness, finally feel like I’ve turned a corner with managing the health condition and would like some of my old style back! I’d also like to lose weight but I don’t want to carry on putting my life on hold until I feel like I’m slim enough to deserve nice things.

So far, I’ve cleared out my wardrobe and either sold, donated or vacuum packed away clothes that are too small (basically got rid of anything smaller than size 16).

I went for a bra fitting at Rigby & Peller this week, it was such a great experience and I discovered that I’ve been wearing completely the wrong size from M&S fitting. I got two lovely (but expensive!) bras from them plus the details for several more that I’ve bee able to find much cheaper online. Also had a massive cull of my knicker drawer and replaced all the old and ill-fitting stuff with basics that actually fit from M&S.

Next on the list is getting a decent haircut and some colour, and learning how to do a decent salon-style blow dry at home. I end up with my hair in a ponytail or bun and would love to know how to achieve a styled look.

I’m very curious about makeup lessons, has anyone tried these and how did they go? I’d like to learn some different makeup techniques without looking like a clown!

@bootygirl tell me more about the make up lessons! Where did you find them? I need help/saving from myself in this area.

I spent a small fortune in an online sale to find most of the items don't fit. They sent m Extra Wide shoes but I know I didn't order EW and even the delivery note says EW. Humph. Some of the other items have since been reduced again. Humph. What's the etiquette on this? One item is almost £7 cheaper.

hurricane it's through social club at work so very cheap to do as social club subs. I also watch a lot of YouTube videos on makeup!

Have decided to give in, and start ironing tops / t-shirts again. Life's too short for ironing etc etc, but I find it gives a much more polished look if cotton stuff isn't crumpled!

Hurricane re makeup lessons- take a look at Lisa Eldridge on her website - she wonderful .

Hey all, hope you are enjoying your bank hols weekend so far!

Despite all my work to feel non frumpy so far (taking more care of skin, spending time on hair and thinking about what I'm going to wear in advance, trying to find out what colours suit me most etc) I went to a family party yesterday and my two younger sisters were there, looking gorgeous as ever and I still looked so frumpy compared to them.

They both take after my mum (good bone structure, face shape & very photogenic) whereas I take after my dad - literally my dad in a wig plus I am 10 years & 5 years older than them, respectively.

I have asked them for tips but they didn't really have anything ground breaking to say, in fact they don't do as much re taking care of skin etc.

One thing I could think of, looking back in photos, is that I'm always doing massive cheesy grins / silly faces because have my kids with me and I like acting silly to make them laugh and sisters are both very conscious of their positioning/hair/how they smile? So maybe that is why they come across more "together" in photos.

Anyway. Confidence knocked a little, but will perservere!

How is everyone else getting on?

sunshine I hate photos because I haven't a clue how to pose and it always seems to get taken at the wrong second when I'm blinking or have my mouth open or something and a bit of hair is always sticking out in the wrong direction.

Hope it's not too late too join if there is room for one more? I'm such a big old frump ATM!

@janejeffer same! I'd rather be a bit silly and make the kids have a really genuine smile on their faces

It doesnt help that from an early age we were told that middle sister was "glamourous beauty", younger sister "classically beautiful" and I "could be very pretty" according to my dear grandmother. I fear that is for another board though

Thank you @bootygirl and @SpeckledyHen

Instead of ironing I have invested in a hand steamer. I thinks it's superb.

Sunshine your kids will look back at this photos and think what a lovely, fun mum who enjoyed her time with them and didn't worry too much about looking perfect!

I'm sure you know that really, but we're so hard on ourselves and isn't it better to actually have a good time than worry about how we look - easier said than done, I know.

Bagel you're right. Even though I hate my photo, when I look back at old ones I don't look as bad as I thought at the time and just think how young I looked in them still hate having them taken though...