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Original poster

I had no idea how big a deal Mum's dress is at a graduation

113 replies

Passportto · 14/06/2018 20:02

I have sons who will (hopefully!) be graduating over the next couple of years and I would have got it badly wrong, thinking it was their day and my duty was to turn up in much the same way as I did for their end of year assemblies in primary school Grin

Two, senior, sensible, professional, not particularly image conscious women at work have sons graduating this year and the talk has been all dresses/bags/shoes for weeks. Their chosen outfits (I have been subjected to constant photos of the various possibilities) look like mother of the bride outfits to me. Is this normal?

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/06/2018 20:07

I wore smart linen trousers, nice top and thin cardigan to my son's. Flat shoes and no handbag, but that's just me. (Mid range Russell group in northern city). I didn't notice anyone looking like a mother of the bride.

Original poster
Passportto · 14/06/2018 20:08

Yes, that sounds like exactly the sort of thing I'd go for Tinkly, smart but comfy and not "too much"

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 14/06/2018 20:11

I wore a pretty (but black) cotton dress, heels, plus a biker jacket - definitely not mother of the bride.

Oldraver · 14/06/2018 20:11

Yes the two I went to everyone was very smart...but not Mother of the Bride smart or 'enough to wear a hat' smart

I just wore a rally nice dress which I them manage to took in my knickers

TheCatFromOuterSpace · 14/06/2018 20:11

I have graduated twice and have no idea what my mum wore for either Grin

Jenijena · 14/06/2018 20:13

There’s a real mix. Some amazing national dress might be worn, or very high heels, or mother of the bride style, to casual work attire. And everything in between. I wouldn’t worry too much. For some, getting family photos is a really big thing, which I think might prompt the dressing.

ChinUpChestOut · 14/06/2018 20:14

God is this really a thing? I have a dear friend who has so far bought FOUR yes FOUR dresses for her son's graduation, and none of them so far has been 'right'.

I honestly thought she was bonkers.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/06/2018 20:17

And to be honest it was a blazingly hot day and we were stuffed into a smallish hall swigging fizz for the reception. And the canapés were few and far between so we decamped to a favourite middle eastern type restaurant with his mates and their families and had a lovely time.

My girls (18 and 20) wore £7 girly summer dresses from H and M with flatish sandals and I remember thinking how lovely and confident relaxed they looked, all long brown legs.

HRTpatch · 14/06/2018 20:18

How ridiculous.
I won't be buying anything new. And I won't be wearing a dress or skirt.

GreenTulips · 14/06/2018 20:20

It's the professional photographers pictures they dress up for. The graduates wear gowns so their dresses aren't so important, as they are covered for the pics.

SparrowandNightingale · 14/06/2018 20:21

I wore my wedding dress!
Which isn't very wedding dressy, more summer tea dress. Ds1said it was his favourite. Dh was his best suit which is very very nice.
London uni very diverse community. There were some beautiful, very colourful clothes.

Diamonddealeroncemore · 14/06/2018 20:29

I wore a smart-ish dress and only then because I knew there would photographs. And also because I wanted to look down my nose and her shit of an ex boyfriend that she’d lived with and who dumped her two weeks before the end of her course just when she was presenting her final piece of work on which her whole degree depended.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/06/2018 20:33

Well we didn't have any professional photos. Took some posed ones of DS and us looking proud (though I look a bit daft as only come up to DH and DS's shoulders) and a nice rare one of all four of my kids together looking spruced up.

millymae · 14/06/2018 20:43

Chinup - you’re right, she is!
My mum (a veteran of many graduations, and with me at the moment) says something like a dress with a cardi or trousers with a jacket you can easily remove whilst you’re squashed up like a sardine to your neighbour during the ceremony would be perfect. An umbrella in case it’s raining, shoes you can walk in, and no hat as it will block the view of whoever sits behind you.
She openly admits that she was extremely proud and wanted to dress up for the first of her many graduation attendances, but that it didn’t take her long to realise that comfort and practicality was more important.

uncoolnn · 14/06/2018 20:45

I graduated 5 years ago and IIRC my mum wore some smart black trousers and a blouse and didn't look out of place at all. Don't recall anyone looking 'mother of the bride'-like

Newname12 · 14/06/2018 20:50

t's the professional photographers pictures they dress up for. The graduates wear gowns so their dresses aren't so important, as they are covered for the pics

Don’t the photographers just snap tge graduate? Since when were family members photographed too?

I also have graduated twice and there were no family portraits either time

Gwenhwyfar · 14/06/2018 21:03

I see the families in my city every year and the mothers do indeed look like mothers of the bride.

BertrandRussell · 14/06/2018 21:08

I'm wearing light coloured flowery linen trousers, a floaty green top and red shoes-but I'm a bit hippy (in both senses of the word!) and dd would be disappointed if I went all Jaques Vert on her ass.........

corcaithecat · 14/06/2018 21:20

I used to organise graduation ceremonies and for summer ones, most mums dress smartly as if attending a wedding, (but not as mother of the groom style) with a few ladies really going to town and wearing outfits that reflect their cultural heritage, with lots of expensive beautiful fabrics and head ware. It's a good excuse to get dressed up and have a nice day out.

Furrycushion · 14/06/2018 21:24

Watching with horror... I have 2 months...

OddBoots · 14/06/2018 21:26

I just graduated (as an oldie with the OU), my mum wore a smart tea dress, nothing mother of the brideish but still nice.

My photograph package has a few copies of various sizes of me on my own and then about 4 copies in a couple of sizes of me with my parents and dh.

Bezm · 14/06/2018 21:27

My daughter graduated from Leeds Uni last summer. Nobody wore anything remotely 'mother of the bride'!
It's not about the mother, it's about the child!

Pebblespony · 14/06/2018 21:29

I graduated twice as well. No idea what my, or anyone else's, mother wore. There will be prob be photos though so maybe that's what the panic is over.

SenecaFalls · 14/06/2018 21:30

Is this normal?

So far this MOB thing doesn't seem to have made it to the States yet, thank goodness. I have been to several graduations recently and most of the women were wearing nice work type dresses or smart trousers.

I didn't really give much thought to what I would wear to my own children's graduations, except that as I live in the Southern US, where it's hot as hell in May and June, I wanted to be cool and comfortable. Also there is a lot of walking on grass so shoes that are relatively sensible are the order of the day.

Tokelau · 14/06/2018 21:32

Me too Furrycushion, I only have one month!

I haven’t worn a dress in years, I just can’t get one that looks nice on me. It’ll be a top and trousers. Sad

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