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Original poster

I had no idea how big a deal Mum's dress is at a graduation

113 replies

Passportto · 14/06/2018 20:02

I have sons who will (hopefully!) be graduating over the next couple of years and I would have got it badly wrong, thinking it was their day and my duty was to turn up in much the same way as I did for their end of year assemblies in primary school Grin

Two, senior, sensible, professional, not particularly image conscious women at work have sons graduating this year and the talk has been all dresses/bags/shoes for weeks. Their chosen outfits (I have been subjected to constant photos of the various possibilities) look like mother of the bride outfits to me. Is this normal?

OP posts:
TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 14/06/2018 21:33

Don’t the photographers just snap tge graduate? Since when were family members photographed too?

My DD graduated last year and there was definitely a family one, it's on my mantle piece right now. A few of her, one with me then a group one of the four of us (her brother and nanna)

As for dress, people were smart but not overly so,.i just wore a nice black dress

SenecaFalls · 14/06/2018 21:34

Also, I should mention that in the US they are often in sports stadiums or arenas, with lots of steps and stairs and stadium-style seating to navigate. Not exactly MOB or even wedding guest territory.

FlaviaAlbia · 14/06/2018 21:35

Mind if I hijack Bert and ask where you got your trousers? I like the sound of them.

My mum wore black trousers, a top and a wool jacket I think. I don't remember anyone in mother of the bride style clothes but it was a fair while ago.

TakeAChanseyOnMe · 14/06/2018 21:36

Mine was less fancy than that (Russell group uni also). My mum wore a dress and felt she was over dressed so wore trousers to my next one. My uni had a black or white dress code for graduates.

Our family photo managed to be a terrible photo of everyone in it. Hmm

Oddbutnotodd · 14/06/2018 21:37

I wore a smart Jigsaw dress and felt fine. There was a mixture but mother of the bride look seems a bit over the top. Some people will dress up for any occasion. Wear what you would feel comfortable in.

Plumsofwrath · 14/06/2018 21:41

I didn’t even go to any of my graduations, let alone my mum Shock

HolyShmoly · 14/06/2018 21:41

I work in a Uni, there's a complete mix but it would generally be something smarter than everyday. Different people's 'smart' will be different.
I particularly love the international grads who wear traditional dress.

My mum wore an outfit she would wear to a wedding to mine and we did get photos of the two of us, but we didn't really know what the norm was. When we went to DH's it was a particularly hot day and my feet got so swollen in my heels I had to go to primark for a pair of flats for the rest of the day!

PUGaLUGS · 14/06/2018 21:41

Oh god really?

I have less than a month Shock

SenecaFalls · 14/06/2018 21:42

If these women are so dressed up, what are the men wearing? At the last graduation we went to for my nephew, my brother (his dad) and DH wore nice trousers and a jacket but no tie. That seemed to be the general uniform for the men.

My nephew was the third generation to graduate from this particular state university so we did sport a bit of the school colors in our attire.

KatyMac · 14/06/2018 21:43

I've bought a dress from TKMaxx in a nice strong green - with DH being Jamaican and DD being drop dead gorgeous I tend to fade into the background in photos.....a sort of washed out sickly looking background

To be worn with existing shoes & bag - Although there is a scarf at M&S I have been eyeing and I have vouchers from my birthday.....

As it's a performing Arts school and loads of parents are ex dancers clean & tidy is my aim!

quince2figs · 14/06/2018 21:44

No need for MOB-style dresses and hats at all. I have found the fanciness of family’s clothes is generally in inverse proportion to the the calibre of the university (sorry if that sounds bitchy).

My mum wore a comfortable dress and cardigan to all of my ceremonies (London Russell Group uni) and was glad she was cool and could walk easily - steps and grass etc. My wonderful Dad (RIP), trousers, shirt and tie in light fabric.

Hope you enjoy it!

WanderingTrolley1 · 14/06/2018 21:46

Oh, dear lord! Really?

I haven’t even given any thought to my attire at my son’s graduation (in a few weeks)...

FriendlyOcelot · 14/06/2018 21:46

Jeez I forgot to tell my parents when mine was so thankfully my mum didn’t have to go through all this! it wasn’t a thing in my day anyway

QueenOfMyWorld · 14/06/2018 21:47

Well my son is having a graduation from nursery with hats etc and I'm not making a special effort 😉 will be v v cute though can't wait

BestIsWest · 14/06/2018 21:47

I wore a navy sleeveless summer dress with a pretty cardigan . DH wore a navy linen jacket, trousers, shirt and tie. I would say much less smart than a wedding. There were people there in jeans

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 14/06/2018 21:51

They are being ridiculous. No one will be looking at them! As staff we go to graduation ceremonies twice a year, think smart office-type clothes or a summer dress. Hats are annoying for the people sitting behind, and beware of heels that sink into grass.

AintNobodyHereButUsKittens · 14/06/2018 22:00

If you’re going to have the photo on your mantelpiece/wall for the next forty years then you probably do want to make sure you’re wearing something you’re happy with.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 14/06/2018 22:02

phase 8 is for this :)

Horsemad · 14/06/2018 22:04

@PUGaLUGS - hey, hi! 😀 Can't believe your DS is graduating - seems like yesterday we were on the new starters thread in 2015!

DS is working, doing really well and is happy (something he definitely wasn't whilst at uni).

Bet you are looking forward to your DS's graduation - I hope you have a lovely day ☺️ xx

Original poster
Passportto · 14/06/2018 22:05

Actually, now I think of it, I went to my dad's graduation in 1986. I'd just started work and he treated me to a new suit for the occasion. Until now, I'd assumed he'd used it as an excuse to get me something nice to wear for work, now I understand he was worried I was going to show him up Grin

OP posts:
Thespringsthething · 14/06/2018 22:10

The parents always look so much posher than the staff at my uni! Some love the excuse to dress up, I haven't seen many hats but lots of summer dresses and smart clothes, I don't think it's so much a code though, but what they prefer to wear, it's an occasion if you want it to be one (but no-one's going to look twice at someone in ordinary clothes).

PUGaLUGS · 14/06/2018 22:13

Hello Horsemad 😊. I know! It could so easily have been yesterday 😵.

Well done to your DS for deciding it wasn’t for him. You must be proud of him.

Yes I am looking forward to it. Just need him to get a job now - he wants to stay where he is, his flat is paid up to the 25th August so has a bit of time. He was 21 yesterday, my boy has grown up.

SomeKnobend · 14/06/2018 22:17

If it's normal, it fucking shouldn't be. Self obsessed weirdos.

Ophelialovescats · 14/06/2018 22:17

Dress is semi formal.
I have two graduates from big universities and the parents were all dressed well but not overly formal.
It's the kid's event after all.

RaininSummer · 14/06/2018 22:18

I had four hours travel each way in one day for my daughter's graduation in london do I very much dressed for comfort and warmth. Was smartish I think but not massively.