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Original poster

I had no idea how big a deal Mum's dress is at a graduation

113 replies

Passportto · 14/06/2018 20:02

I have sons who will (hopefully!) be graduating over the next couple of years and I would have got it badly wrong, thinking it was their day and my duty was to turn up in much the same way as I did for their end of year assemblies in primary school Grin

Two, senior, sensible, professional, not particularly image conscious women at work have sons graduating this year and the talk has been all dresses/bags/shoes for weeks. Their chosen outfits (I have been subjected to constant photos of the various possibilities) look like mother of the bride outfits to me. Is this normal?

OP posts:
MarthaArthur · 15/06/2018 20:29

Df wore a black suit. I wore a black dress and black cap and gown. We looked like a fucking goth family coven actually...

ILoveDolly · 15/06/2018 20:31

You know that thing about it not being your day? I think the appropriate thing is anything discretely smart.

Judydreamsofhorses · 15/06/2018 20:36

I’m a lecturer and our ceremony tends to be smart, dressy, but not weddingy. Male guests mainly wear suits, women dress and jacket. Grads are in black and white or national dress, lots of the male students are in kilts.

BagelGoesWalking · 15/06/2018 20:41

I wore something very similar to Tinkly. It was a boiling hot day, the cathedral was cool for the ceremony but boilng when we were outside for the "fun" pics with friends after. Then we had to walk up a hill to a big marquee for refreshments!

BagelGoesWalking · 15/06/2018 20:45

PS I saw NO-ONE with a hat and no one looked like the MoB.

FlaviaAlbia · 15/06/2018 21:16

Ah well, thanks Bert
health to enjoy them anyway!

HollaHolla · 15/06/2018 22:34

I have graduated twice - Edinburgh & Durham. Both times I was in a black dress and Mary Jane shoes. Mum wore a navy frock to 1st, red dress & jacket to second. Dad & brother in suits.
At my brother’s (Glasgow) he wore a kilt and Mum & I in summer dresses and jackets, Dad in suit.
On all occasions we looked entirely appropriate. Please don’t go over the top.

JaceLancs · 15/06/2018 23:06

No mother of the bride look for me
I wore a black and cream spotted dress with cream cardigan and black heels
Sort of thing I would wear for a meal out or a work event

Redact · 16/06/2018 07:41

To DS graduations, first was black linen dress from Hobbs with a pale cream trim round neck, Jackie O style, so quite plain with a ivory LK Bennett cardi. Second in December, also from Hobbs, skirt, blouse, cardi, boots from lk bennet, and black coat. Third skirt from Brora, M&S cashmere crew neck which I do not recommend as it bobbles very quickly, same black coat I wore to second one and a pair of well worn acne pistol boots. All outfits smart casual, that could be worn to work. My first graduation was so long ago I can't remember what I wore! Last one lk bennet dress and cardi. Dress in what makes you feel comfortable as it's a long day.

user1499173618 · 16/06/2018 07:43

Think of the photos that will be taken for posterity of your DC in their gown with you. You will want to look your best!

reallyanotherone · 16/06/2018 08:27

Think of the photos that will be taken for posterity of your DC in their gown with you. You will want to look your best!

At both my uni’s official photos were graduands only. Tbh i wouldn’t have wanted my family in the pictures. It was my graduation, my achievement. My photo with my certificate framed on the wall.

Imo there are lots of family occasions for family photos. Graduation is not a family event, they are there to spectate, not part of the occasion.

wizzywig · 16/06/2018 08:32

I like the fact that some are mentioning whether it was an rg university graduation or not. As if it makes a difference. Ive seen graduands in jeans and ugg boots, body con thigh high dresses and everything in between in an rg graduation in 2016

TheNavigator · 16/06/2018 08:41

I work in a University and my favourite outfits on the graduands are when they wear national dress - there are some really beautiful clothes from around the world and it adds such colour and vibrancy. Our graduands don't wear mortar boards, so the national head wear can be included - it is great.

It doesn't matter what the parents wear, it is all about the graduands, so as long as your son or daughter isn't embarrassed by your outfit I wouldn't worry.

voldermorticia · 16/06/2018 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 16/06/2018 08:50

Shit, I didn't know this was a thing. I haven't even thought about what I'm going to wear. Just smart work gear I think, trouser suit, nice top, certainly not going in a dress and a bloody hat.😱

ImPreCis · 16/06/2018 09:05

A bit off topic, but for those with daughters graduating, hoods often (not always) have a loop at the front to go over a shirt button to keep them in place, clearly works well for the men graduating, less so if no button available for that purpose on a dress, so hoods don’t stay in position, with the front working it’s way up to strangulation point and falling off the shoulders.
Encourage outfits with buttons, or fabric that will take a safety pin.

Bluntness100 · 16/06/2018 09:09

Thanks for that, I wondered why when we ordered it said to consider wearing a shirt!

voldermorticia · 16/06/2018 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZaZathecat · 16/06/2018 10:33

It's not a big deal. It's just that people who like buying a new outfit for everything have another excuse to do so and enjoy spending months discussing and planning it. That's OK for them, but there's no need as long as you don't plan on wearing something to embarrass your offspring!

LucyFox · 16/06/2018 11:02

My mum wore a printed summer dress to mine & my brothers, with a blazer type jacket (she was a jacket not a cardi type person!) Smart enough for a nice meal out or church but not wedding fancy ...
definitely not wedding level smart!

Seems that many people these days only understand super-casual or super-fancy dressing ...

Curlywurlywurly · 16/06/2018 11:09

Today I have mostly learnt that it is graduand and not graduate for the person who is graduating. I thought it was a typo

I wore a smart winter dress and thick black tights to DHs and a summery tea dress to mine. We had family photos taken though so needed to look smart.

SenecaFalls · 16/06/2018 12:24

Graduation is not a family event.

It certainly is in the US, especially if the family has made financial sacrifices so that their child can attend university. Also in many minority and recent immigrant families, it may be the first person in the family to get a degree and a cause for a big family celebration.

And of course we have high school graduations as well, which are also big family occasions.

Haffiana · 16/06/2018 15:06

DS graduating in a couple of weeks, posh Scottish Uni, and I intend to wear a linen dress and cardi or jacket depending on the weather. This is actually what I wear most days but I will make the effort to be more polished than usual so that he is aware that I consider this a very important day and I am proud of him. I also didn't attend my own graduation many years ago as I rushed off to work abroad before I even got my results, so I am looking forward to finally seeing a graduation!

I cannot imagine what would make anyone think a full blown MOTB would be necessary but I would not judge anyone doing so - I hope they have fun.

LemonysSnicket · 16/06/2018 15:20

Yes, quite mother of the bride but without the hat. Most people hang graduation pictures on the wall, so they want to look nice.

LemonysSnicket · 16/06/2018 15:21

The international families also wear traditional dress quite a bit and they look magnificent