Constant commenting about my clothes

[Tanfastic]

So I like clothes, fashion, shoes, handbags. I do not have expensive taste but I like to look nice and make the most of my (ageing) appearance. Most of my clothes are from supermarkets, sales or H&M. I don't smoke and I hardly drink. Clothes are my thing. I work full time and I have a half decent disposable income......now here's the thing.

There is someone I work with who constantly comments (I mean nearly every single day) on my clothes. Mainly the same comment which goes something like this...I walk into the room, she says bloody hell you've got so many clothes. Then she'll say to another colleague ...."hasn't she so and so...Tanfastic has so many clothes. "Another new top"...(I've worn it before)...more clothes than anybody you...more bloody clothes. Look ok at her so and so...more bloody clothes, so much clobber that one.

Today, I walk into her office....."is that a new top"?

Me..."no I've had it a couple of years"
Her..."not seen it before"

Her...."more bloody clothes than anyone you....more clobber etc etc etc.....on and fucking on.

Every single day for the last two years....

It's pissing me off and becoming boring now. I've tried taking the piss out of her comments....but still she doesn't stop. I've tried ignoring but still she doesn't stop.

Colleague earns twice as much as me. I know her very well and she has the disposable income to buy as many clothes as me but chooses to spend it on other things.

Anybody else get this? How do you deal with it without being rude?

I'm nearly wetting myself at some of these replies...

Maureen! 😂😂

Fuck me they wouldn't want to see me naked 😆😳

I get this, I like clothes and like shopping. I just respond with one word answers. Saves me time. Just "no" or "yes" when asked if something is new. Any more words required, I don't respond.
I always get the "ooh you've got your legs out then" every summer, my standard response to that is "limbs, oooh" with a sarcastic smile.
Some people have nothing better to think about than other peoples' appearance.
She sounds jealous of you.

I work with a man who often comments on my clothes, the same shit joke about needing new jeans when I wear ones with holes in, etc.

I had on blue jeans and brown boots one day, and he said “what’s with the cowboy outfit?” So I eyed his tweed suit up and down and replied with “Nothing much. What’s with the tax man outfit?”

We seem to have called an unspoken truce now.

You have my sympathies. She sounds as dull as fuck and I guarantee the person listening tolerates her but secretly thinks she’s weird and passive aggressive.

I’ve had similar - I think what the questioner (senior position to me) couldn’t stand was that I was also studying part time in a “tough”
field (headed for a good first) and am reasonably well read and cultured and sporty. So I couldn’t be dismissed as some airhead.

Unfortunately if you’ve tried the smart comments back/ ignoring route then formal grievance/complaint
route might be the only way?

I myself dismissed the comments as low level unpleasantness and tried to rise above them, but the woman in question ended up making my working life a misery in other ways?

Of course I want to follow the rules of the sisterhood etc: the reality is some women are chronically jealous and incapable of coping when faced with women they feel are “better presented” than them and their daughters (whether it’s looks or clothes or “poshness”)

A mum of one of my DD's friends always used to do this to me. Luckily both girls are at secondary school now so I no longer have to see her!

I agree it's a jealousy thing. It's always 'functional' dressers that seem to think they can make these types of comments.

We all had to attend a fairness and dignity at work event and bullying came up. I distinctly remember organisers saying that if somebody is constantly making comments about your appearance that is a form of bullying. If she persists after you have made a few sarky comments ask her to stop in writing.

Every time she comments on your clothes you should comment on hers.

"I always like that blue top Maureen. Such a shame that curry stain didn't wash out "

"Nice black pants Maureen."

"Those shoes look comfy"

"Is that cardigan machine washable? So practical!"

I used to have alot of repeated snide and shitty comments about something else I spent my money on. I used to deflect, and almost be embarrassed about it, and when she made another rude comment I would try and minimise it. One day i had enough and realised that I do not have to apologise to anyone for any of the decisions I make about how to spend my money or the decisions I make for my family. It was liberating.

I'd just say to her quietly 'Maureen, I don't spend nearly as much time thinking about your clothes as you do about mine. Don't you find it exhausting?'

As a student teacher I once had a 15 year old girl - not even someone I taught - who every time we crossed paths in school would do the same. She didn't dare be outright rude, but would go with the oh - so - subtle "Miss, why are you wearing those shoes?" or similar, while her little friends giggled.

After a couple of weeks of this, I said to her something like "My gosh, Kelly! You're like my biggest fan! No really, you are! Every time I walk past, you start talking to me, asking me questions! I mean, it's cute, I'm flattered, but really, it's like you're obsessed, bless you..." Her little friends smirked and she didn't ask again.

Agree with @Fengshui that you do not have to defend your clothing. I would point out the weirdness of her behaviour, rather than politely pretending she has a right to make these comments. And I would start writing down when you tell her to stop, and when she carries on making them, to discuss with HR if required.

I would respond to every comment with ‘why are you so obsessed with me’ so and so isnt she obsessedi with me like wow you are so in love with me gosh catch me on instagram you can like my outfit choices on there.
then flick my hair and strut off.

She does sound really annoying and jealous of you she probably wishes she could be more like you clothes wise . But if she keeps commenting and trying ro make you look like a materialistic air head then i would totally play up to it and annoy the heck out of her. Cz im petty like that ha xx

Or just respond with ‘are you ok hun’

I'd juztbgive a smile and say "I'm so thrilled with it" give her a twirl and move on. Commenting about her clothes is stooping to her level.

Or just say, ooh Saturday tomorrow, yay the shops.

TBF MIL used to do this with me and it was pass ag. A comment every time and I didn't have that many clothes. After about 10 years I did actually say, I work so it's my money and actually it's very rude to ask the price ofbeverything. She never did it again. We are a bit strained though but that's a whole other thread.

I work with a person exactly the same. We recently moved house and had been saving for months to make it nice. When I ordered things for the house I would get them sent to work because neither of us would be home, or I'd pop into town and pick up a few bits - I'm talking bath mat, salt and pepper shakers, cushion covers that type of thing!

Every single time she would say, are you made of money? Come on then get it it let's have a look! You can get that for half the price at B&M! Been buying again? Etc. It drives me MAD.

I don't know why she feels the need to comment but I have taken to just not even responding to her.

Yes my Mil used to do similar about my handbags, how many l had, how big they were and even the weight of them. I'd take her somewhere and she'd take it upon herself to make a comment on how heavy it was even though no one had fecking asked her to lift my bag out the car as she got out the passenger side. 'What ve you got in here, a brick?' she'd say every bastard time in a really mocking tone. Tried ignoring but she would ask again until l 'explained'. I started leaving handbag hidden behind my drivers seat on the floor out of view. I said to her 'Well it's my bag, so how big or heavy it is isn't your problem, no one's asking you to carry it'. We had a shopping trip in complete silence that day she had a proper cob on. Didn't stop her though.

I always carry a bottle of water with me was why it was heavy.

“Yes, you say that a lot. It’s actually really annoying”

Don’t engage beyond that.

I've said, 'Yes I like clothes - does that bother you?' on a couple of occasions and it worked.

I used to get this quite a lot from a couple of senior men a few years ago. I calmly pointed out to them that it was just as valid to spend my money on these things as it was to buy season tickets to watch Premiership football.

Humourless (and I am sure they said so behind my back) but it worked with them at least.

We work hard for our money. We can spend it however the f**k we like.

"Maureen, everyone likes to spend their money on something. I like to spend mine on clothes. What do you spend yours on? It's certainly not on developing a pleasant personality"

Thanks ladies, I've a nice dress on today that I've worn a million times before.....will let you know of any comments later "wink" "wink". Last time I wore it she called me posh bird. She thinks she's fucking hilarious obvs.

God, I get this a lot at work! Thing is, I really love clothes. And I am disabled and have put on weight (steroids) so I like to feel good about myself.
I don't drink or smoke or go out much so this is my treat to myself for working.

I love the suggested replies but one day it's just going to be a big ODFOD

she sounds nasty op.

There's a woman at the school whose clothes I often comment on. I love her clothes. She has a real eye for finding things and for putting things together. It's genuine admiration. This thread is an eye opener. I'm now wondering if she isn't taking it the way its intended. I better shut up just in case.

The comments you're getting, tan, sound, terribly passive aggressive.

If she comments on today's dress, just say "Yes, you said that last time I wore it. Remember?". Each time she goes through the same old rigmarole about your clothes, just point out that she's said similar before. Head on one side, and slightly squinting at the word "remember" like she's got memory problems!