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I was told this top was "ageing", is it true?

310 replies

WatercolourFlower · 02/02/2018 20:42

I was shopping with my friend today and was having a look at the new stuff in Joules, as they ususally do lovely patterns.

I saw this top and immediately loved it (what a gorgeous and delicate pattern!). I said this to my friend...and she immediately said how ageing it would be. Here's the link to the top, in the cream botanicals print www.joules.com/Women/Tops/Harbour-Print/Jersey-Top/Cream-Botanicals?id=Y_HARBOURPRINT%7CCREMBOT

Is my friend right? I'm not ususally affected by stuff like this and wear what I want, but a man recently said I looked much older than I was and now I'm overthinking things. For the record, I'm 20 years old.

Any advice much appreciated 😊

OP posts:
Frankiewears · 02/02/2018 23:01

Mary Berry.

Frankiewears · 02/02/2018 23:03

🌷

I was told this top was "ageing", is it true?
GlitterFart · 02/02/2018 23:13

@WatercolourFlower you are my unadventurous style twin! I am currently in the process of growing out my ‘lob’ in a quest to look more young, I thought at least if my clothes aren’t then my hair should be?Hmm I loved the practicality of my short hair and the look with certain outfits but it did veer into mumsy territory at times

Bejazzled · 03/02/2018 00:14

Lol, I think a 20yo can wear just about anything without being "aged" or looking "frumpy"

If you like it, wear it. You will look lovely.

PhylisMcFee · 03/02/2018 01:05

I like it, but I wouldn’t wear it. It depends what you wear it with- and it looks to me as if it would never look quite right, somehow , or a one trick outfit pony.

Or wear it with dark leggings / Capri pants and flat pumps.

dotdotdotmustdash · 03/02/2018 01:12

My Dd19 would like that top. She's never been a wearer of jeans or plain clothes and since she was little has lived in flowery dresses. I don't always like her clothes, but I really appreciate the fact that she's not a fashion-sheep and has her own style.

At your age you can pull off any look if you believe in yourself and wear it with confidence!

RosinaAlmaviva · 03/02/2018 03:23

I don't think you need to follow fashion as much as you need to develop your own style, which means knowing who you are and what image you want to project. If you follow fashion slavishly, you'll be at the mercy of every new trend, from cold shoulders to dust ruffles, whether it does anything for you or not.

When I was your age a book which really helped me get out of a style rut and transition from university to the workplace was Simple Isn't Easy by Olivia Goldsmith and Amy Fine Collins. Although it's over 20 years old, it was about style rather than fashion so hasn't dated much and I would still recommend it - except it's long out of print and second-hand copies are super expensive. But other posters may be able to suggest something similar.

It might help to follow the style of actresses/celebrities in their 20s - particularly their street style, which is usually far more accessible than the red carpet. When you see a photo you love, try to copy it and by a process of trial and error, you'll discover what is really "you." It helps if you are emulating someone who is similar to your body type/colouring.

Also, try reading interviews with costume designers who have worked on recent films set in the present day. On screen, every single aspect of an outfit, from lipstick to jewellery, is carefully selected to tell the audience something about a character. When you understand more about how that is done, you understand the messages you are sending with your own choices, and can adjust as you see fit.

For example, that top could come over as frumpy/ageing because it combines florals (feminine, sweet, unthreatening) with a loose cut (forgiving for matronly figures). To counteract that, you'd need to combine it with a body-conscious bottom half and younger accessories, as PP have said. Yes, it's something Mary Berry would wear, so you need to team it (hate that phrase! sorry) with something she wouldn't wear! MB would probably accessorize this with chunky pearls or a scarf and court shoes - you could look at e.g. Glamour or Cosmopolitan for ideas for accessories which are more age-appropriate. Try red lipstick (rather than the nude the model is wearing or a nice safe berry stain).

Paintbox · 03/02/2018 08:43

I agree that a 20 year old can’t look grumpy very easily. Also agree that not everyone wants to dress in high fashion, whatever their age and that’s fine. However as a 40 year old woman now, whose figure is not what it was, I can’t tell you how glad I am that I wore the mini skirts, crop tops etc when I was young. I looked fab and I was never going to look as good again so I’m glad I embraced my youth and fashion and wore what the hell I liked. Youth is for having fun with clothes and fashion in my view. I still like to follow fashion and have fun with clothes, but youth is when you can really get away with things. I still feel that boring clothes are not for me, BUT for my “boring” , read someone else’s “classic” and that’s ok too.

Paintbox · 03/02/2018 08:44

Of course I meant frumpy not grumpy!
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m glad I wore things in my twenties that I wouldn’t or couldn’t wear in my 40’s. And for me anyway, that top falls well into a category of boring and older, even though I’m not into categorising clothes via age

ShiftyMcGifty · 03/02/2018 08:46

Nothing is ageing and frumpy at 20. YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING!

I’m shouting this because as you can see, once you ge to 30s and 40s, you can’t.

Wear it if you like it. Grin

ferrier · 03/02/2018 08:50

Of course a 20 year old can look frumpy.
And yy to the top being generally worn by people of pensionable age.

Shockers · 03/02/2018 08:57

Joules isn’t aging if you’re super slim. Because of the boxy shape of most of their stuff, it is to anyone over a size 10 though. This is why I only buy Joules for my daughter, or my mum.

ferrier · 03/02/2018 09:21

I agree about the shape. I'm a size 10 and the shape would be fine on me. It's the print that's the problem.

NachoFries · 03/02/2018 09:22

I like it Easter Smile I also like the third one, the cream mono rose, and I’d wear it with skinny jeans and ankle boots.

WatercolourFlower · 03/02/2018 09:33

Thank you for all your advice...I was loooking at the Jack Wills website to find something younger...and I spotted this www.jackwills.com/charsley-short-sleeve-contrast-neck-crew-100014432008.html#pmax=79&q=Jumper&pmin=19&sz=48&start=10
Firstly, is this ageing? Also, what else could I wear it with apart from jeans?

OP posts:
Floisme · 03/02/2018 09:58

I disagree that young people can get away with wearing anything. It must be tiresome if you're 20 something and like a classic style and people are constantly wagging their finger at you. Look at the treatment Kate Middleton gets, even as she hurtles towards her middle years.

It's up to you, op but I wouldn't take style advice from anyone who talks about clothes being either too old or too young. 20 is an age, not a look. The really stylish people I see dress to express themselves and take inspiration wherever they find it. They don't use 'old' as a synonym for 'ugly' and they don't run away from something just because they've seen a pensioner wear it. They know you don't catch old age from clothing.

I think the pattern of that top is pretty, (although not my style) but something about it looks 'off'. I think Joules do this Ia lot: decent colours and half decent fabrics but so often they're badly cut; don't sit properly, don't hang properly, don't move properly. I'm not sure whether it's because they think fashion is beneath them or whether they just don't understand women's bodies. (In their defense, some of their tweed stuff is good.) So yes, I think you could do better. And I don't think it's Mary Berry's best look either.

I would first work out what draws you to the top and then see how other stores do it. If it's the pattern, I'd start with Oasis who do a lot of really pretty, modern prints. River Island and H&M are putting out florals too - probably poor quality but that doesn't matter when you're experimenting. Don't look at the clothes on their own - look at how they're styled, what goes with what.

I would also leave your companion behind next time. She may be a great friend in every other way but you're better off shopping alone than with a naysayer. They suck all the fun out of it.

dangerrabbit · 03/02/2018 10:03

I’m 37 and wouldn’t be able to wear that because it would look aging on me, but at 20 if you wore that you would make it look young and alternative.

MerryMarigold · 03/02/2018 10:05

My mum would love that. She's 71. The shape and the pattern. I'm 44, not exactly fashionable, but I wouldn't wear it. Sorry OP

Poppyfields21 · 03/02/2018 10:07

I was expecting you to say you were 40, was shocked when you said you’re only 20! I think what you want to wear is up to you so don’t feel like you should Be wearing anything specific if it doesn’t feel right for you purely because of your age! For reference, my daughters (similar age to you) wear a lot of zara, topshop, H&M and asos. I also follow some of the same bloggers as them on Instagram such as Emma Hill style, We Are Twinset which could be a good starting point if you don’t want a bit of a reinvention. But you might want something a bit more preppy than them, why not start by buying Look magazine as they have pages by shop of what’s good that week.

namechangedtoday15 · 03/02/2018 10:12

OP the Jack Wills top is better but I still think it's a bit of a mumsy shape. The length of it is a bit long in my view and the sleeves are 'middle aged woman trying to cover bingo wings' - although I'm obviously viewing it as a 45yr old rather than a 20yr old Grin.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 03/02/2018 10:15

Oh goodness me yes. But I'm in the wear what you want camp so if you like it go for it.

Poppyfields21 · 03/02/2018 10:19

Just RTFT and saw your responses, think you’d like this brand www.oliveclothing.com
Also www.stories.com/gb/ and
www.dancingleopard.co.uk

VanessaHelsing · 03/02/2018 10:22

I am 47 and was considering buying that Joules top! Shock

mimibunz · 03/02/2018 10:30

I’m 50 and I don’t find aging at all. It’s pretty and feminine, but should be paired with slimline jeans and Chelsea boots like in the picture. You can avoid frumpy with proper styling.

UserSnoozer · 03/02/2018 10:50

Nice black trousers with it, I love it! (I'm 18)

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