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Lost cause - where to start ?

94 replies

Marasme · 31/12/2017 15:47

I need help for 2018, because I look like a walking paradox. I have a fairly high profile job, with a lot of public speaking, and I also sometimes do some TV work - so technically, I'd love to look polished, but fail miserably. I am challenged in a number of areas:

  • my hormones have gone crazy. My face is like pizza at least half of my cycle, and super greasy too - this is a new thing that really started 5 years ago. I am unable to stick to any complicated routine - all I do at the mo is use the garnier micellar water on cotton in the evenings (and sometimes mornings) to wipe my face an neck. I don't wear face creams (I've never found one that actually "helped"). I also have spots on my neck, shoulders, back and decolletage. This is gross, and at its worst (when I am super stressed) my good friend has asked me if I had chicken-fucking-pox. I am not on the pill either (terrible mood swing effects that made me even less pleasant than I usually am).
  • I look fairly "young" - but I am 37. The young look is because I never graduated from student garb. And the pizza face, of course, which confuses whoever I speak to and distracts them from my wrinkles (only a few, TBF). Looking like a student is not good in my job. It kind of takes away half of the credibility. But I don't want to look like an old woman either, I still feel like a student in my head (ah ah).
  • make-up: there is so little to say about this. I wear NONE. I own some, but do not know how to use it, and when I try, I look like coco the clown. I have a Clinique tinted lip balm that I use when I need to look a little bit more interesting (for a better word) - but this fades within 1hour and I would never think of touching it up, ever. I pluck my eyebrows when I remember - which is never. I'd love to know what to do, but I don't. I've tried to look at youtube channels - it's like a foreign language to me. The rare times I've gone to the salon, I felt very awkward there.
  • my hair is thinning - I had to chop it dramatically to a chin-length bob to remediate the rat tails (and have grown out my fringe), and have started to look into scarves and headbands. Little problem: I have no idea how to not look like a hobo with scarves, and I have a "big head" - all Alice bands are too short and dig behind my ears :/
  • I think I have some OK clothes (loads), but I cannot put them together in an interesting way, and I horde these clothes when they are past their best (a consequence of poorer times when I could not afford any). My go-to outfit is: black skinny jeans, black ankle boots (or converse in the summer), a random T-shirt, and a random jumper on top. I never take time to get ready (I usually wake up late) and cannot accessorize effectively. When I do, I find it mostly impractical / in the way.

I've probably forgotten other pertinent details. I'd love to be able to look more "put together" but cannot get a handle on the overall style thing (and I think I lack the level of interest required to "invest" time and effort in it). What seemed to work 10 years ago just looks like a joke now. I will take any sensible workable advice on how to get out of this bad groove!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 05/01/2018 16:53

Ok, good!. I use a 5p sized amount of oil. Your doing brilliantly.

I found the toner stung at first but you get used to it.

Marasme · 05/01/2018 16:56

thankfull it is relatively straightforward and not too time consuming - it helps!

would you do the all routine after shower, or do the oil first, then shower, then tonic and moisturiser?

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Fluffycloudland77 · 05/01/2018 17:09

After the shower, shower waters too hot for the face.

That's why people like cleansing oils, quick & no fuss.

TheOtherGirl · 05/01/2018 18:09

Just read someone's post upthread mentioning you might have oestrogen dominance and need extra progesterone?

This is almost 100% wrong. I see a very well respected consultant gynaecologist for my awful peri menopause symptoms and he snorts at the concept of 'oestrogen dominance' and is very damning about progesterone creams.

You are clearly too sensitive to progesterone so the very last thing you want is to expose your body to anything like the Mirena or the mini pill.

Landed · 05/01/2018 19:18

marasme how mean! No possibility of arriving early and following the others into makeup and watching for tips then I guess?!

Marasme · 05/01/2018 22:17

sorry Landed - I meant that I need to wait until I forray into make-up. My skills are .... low, so I'd better not overwhelm myself all at once Grin.

Once skin is a bit clearer, I'll try to find somewhere to get my eyebrows shaped (and, who knows, may even consider eyebrow pencils and stuff) and once this is done, will move on to learning how to apply eyeliner (dream big!).

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NewBallsPlease00 · 05/01/2018 22:57

Hi, lots going on, my 2ps worth!
Ditch the dairy totally, it's made such a huge difference to me, totally cut out, saw improvement within 2 weeks
Clothes- whistles, kin by John Lewis and cos are your friends, wirth thick tights and a silk thermal vest to layer for warmth
Shoes- brogue or Oxford loafer - look at Boden, toast or Russell & Bromley, or next sometimes too
Hair- ask a stylish friend which hairdresser they use and book in there
Make up, I have little time and need to look snap, fwiw I do this-
Liz Earle hot polish cleanser each night, followed by aldi caviar cream
Morning- shower, no gels etc
Face cream- aldi day caviar
Mac - have been brilliant at recommendations, I've only not liked a mascarea and they refunded it!
I use mac BB cream, Mac sheer pressed powder, black eyeliner from bonjouris and mascara by benefit,
Also, have a fragrance you love , mine is a jo Malone, it makes me feel grown up haha
Takes 3 min
Finally, I have nails shellac in deep burg every fortnight because it makes me feel put together

TheOtherGirl · 06/01/2018 10:41

I have my nails Shellac-ed every 2 weeks too. Have Oxblood, which is like Rouge Noir and looks very stylish against the blacks, navy and greys that I'm wearing.

I am quite lazy but also like a high maintenance look, so Shellac is a Godsend for me. I also have a monthly pedicure too, so my feet always look good.

I am now seriously considering microblading. A friend has just had it done and I can't believe the transformation. It's very subtle and soft (definitely not Sharpie Scouse brows) but it has really lifted her face and she looks fresher and younger.

Marasme · 06/01/2018 13:12

microblading Confused no idea what this is [ah ah]

I usually stay away from nails - I use my hands a lot at work, with gloves on - kills nails and polish!

NewBalls I quite like everything I tried from Whistles at JL - so will definitely go back there in the future - maybe at the "main store". In term of cutting dairy - I'm not sure I should, considering that my diet is always on the "not great" side - cutting a food group is quite likely to tip me over in term of some essential nutrients!

OP posts:
Marasme · 06/01/2018 15:12

I have been reading about this My Trsuty Oil - what do you think of it? seems that the main ingredient is grapeseed oil, although not sure in which proportions.

Otherwise - I've read about microblading. Sounds drastic! I am not short of eyebrow hair, so not sure this is for me. I need to tidy them and get them shaped, though.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 06/01/2018 17:05

You'll get grapseed cheaper in bulk cheaper.

Fluffycloudland77 · 06/01/2018 17:06

Overuse of the word cheaper. It was wine o clock at 4pm.

Overthehillsandfaraway8 · 06/01/2018 17:14

Sounds like you have a hormonal imbalance to me. I would ask to be referred to an endocrinologist and go and see a herbalist and nutritionist. I wonder what your diet is like. It sound like you need a complete overhaul of your diet and lifestyle, need to take some vitamins and minerals too.

Re the make up etc. Book yourself in to have a make over in Boots or a department store at Clinique or Clarins counter. Ask for a few products and ask them to show you how to use them. Ask for sample of moisturisers to try to find something that works. Book yourself in for a facial on a regular basis, and get your eyebrows professionally plucked. Debenhams have beauty counters that do this in my area. All this can be sorted!

Overthehillsandfaraway8 · 06/01/2018 17:15

Clothes - go shopping with with a trusted friend or ask for a session with a personal shopper in a big department store. You don't need to buy anything, but it might give you some ideas.

heusher1805 · 06/01/2018 18:18

My input.
Eyebrows. If you can face it have them sorted sooner rather than later.
I rarely wear much makeup, usually just tinted moisturiser, mascara, powder (I'm quite shiny). I recently started using pencil and gel as mine are fair and patchy, now i get comments on days i haven't bothered about looking tired or pale. Totally makes a difference. I get them threaded every month at superdrug for £5.

Im also the same ages ad you, and have gad quite a lot of hair loss this last year. Cutting it short and swapping to sulphate free shampoos has helped.

I hope you find a regime that help and is manageable for you.

Loonoonow · 10/01/2018 11:28

NoSquirrels

My Lola in khaki just arrived and it swamps me even though I ordered the same size as my navy one. I had a brief happy moment when I thought maybe I had dropped a dress size or two over Christmas but I put the blue one on and it is still perfect. The khaki one is cut bigger, longer and with longer, wider sleeves. ☹️

Marasme · 10/01/2018 14:02

different fabric?
can you exchange for the smaller size?

OP posts:
Loonoonow · 10/01/2018 14:44

Yes, it's a different fabric, a slighter coarser looser weave. It's actually really nice. I will be in Brighton tomorrow which has a branch of Whistles so will return the HoF one and try my luck instore tomorrow.

How is your new look going Marasme? I booked an HD Brows appointment during the week and it made me think of you!

Marasme · 13/01/2018 13:13

Thanks for checking in @Loonoonow

Skin - some good results I believe: less greasy, and less angry. I still have some blemishes, but I would call this "normal" compared to "pizza". Those would be easily hidden under foundation if I wore any!

Make-up - still ground zero. I ve watched quite a few vlogs on eyeliners; however, I think my upper eyelid (or the bit of skin between brow and eye) is not fit for purpose: it kind of droops slightly over the eyelid where the flick would go (if this makes sense!)

Clothes - I am now back at work - I had a big meeting this week, and I wore one of my new black JL top with black skinny, a nice scarf and necklace. I felt possibly more "put together" than usual.

However, I now fear that the skirts I invested in are a bit of a massive leap of faith. I tried one on for a "normal work day" and felt like it was not me. So still work in progress. Otherwise, I bought a lovely dress and top from boden, but the parcel got lost, and now the items are out of stock :(

I still need to get my eyebrow sorted - I however live in the sticks and work in a sort of business park with no salon nearby - I'll have to go in the town. My only excuse would be to go buy some more accessories :)

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