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Lost cause - where to start ?

94 replies

Marasme · 31/12/2017 15:47

I need help for 2018, because I look like a walking paradox. I have a fairly high profile job, with a lot of public speaking, and I also sometimes do some TV work - so technically, I'd love to look polished, but fail miserably. I am challenged in a number of areas:

  • my hormones have gone crazy. My face is like pizza at least half of my cycle, and super greasy too - this is a new thing that really started 5 years ago. I am unable to stick to any complicated routine - all I do at the mo is use the garnier micellar water on cotton in the evenings (and sometimes mornings) to wipe my face an neck. I don't wear face creams (I've never found one that actually "helped"). I also have spots on my neck, shoulders, back and decolletage. This is gross, and at its worst (when I am super stressed) my good friend has asked me if I had chicken-fucking-pox. I am not on the pill either (terrible mood swing effects that made me even less pleasant than I usually am).
  • I look fairly "young" - but I am 37. The young look is because I never graduated from student garb. And the pizza face, of course, which confuses whoever I speak to and distracts them from my wrinkles (only a few, TBF). Looking like a student is not good in my job. It kind of takes away half of the credibility. But I don't want to look like an old woman either, I still feel like a student in my head (ah ah).
  • make-up: there is so little to say about this. I wear NONE. I own some, but do not know how to use it, and when I try, I look like coco the clown. I have a Clinique tinted lip balm that I use when I need to look a little bit more interesting (for a better word) - but this fades within 1hour and I would never think of touching it up, ever. I pluck my eyebrows when I remember - which is never. I'd love to know what to do, but I don't. I've tried to look at youtube channels - it's like a foreign language to me. The rare times I've gone to the salon, I felt very awkward there.
  • my hair is thinning - I had to chop it dramatically to a chin-length bob to remediate the rat tails (and have grown out my fringe), and have started to look into scarves and headbands. Little problem: I have no idea how to not look like a hobo with scarves, and I have a "big head" - all Alice bands are too short and dig behind my ears :/
  • I think I have some OK clothes (loads), but I cannot put them together in an interesting way, and I horde these clothes when they are past their best (a consequence of poorer times when I could not afford any). My go-to outfit is: black skinny jeans, black ankle boots (or converse in the summer), a random T-shirt, and a random jumper on top. I never take time to get ready (I usually wake up late) and cannot accessorize effectively. When I do, I find it mostly impractical / in the way.

I've probably forgotten other pertinent details. I'd love to be able to look more "put together" but cannot get a handle on the overall style thing (and I think I lack the level of interest required to "invest" time and effort in it). What seemed to work 10 years ago just looks like a joke now. I will take any sensible workable advice on how to get out of this bad groove!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 03/01/2018 20:06

It's better to spend on the basics, you get your money's worth out of them.

Cropped cashmere cardi over the dress?

Marasme · 03/01/2018 20:07

I also managed to get

  • superdrug glycolic tonic
  • effaclar duo cream

I have ordered the organic grapeseed oil on Amazon

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 03/01/2018 20:09

Your on fire today aren't you?

Are you ready for blue/red/green light led face masks?.

Marasme · 03/01/2018 20:12

Here is the dress.

The jacket swamps it, and the long cardis I tried also detracted from it. I'll see what I have in my wardrobe that works nicely with it (no cashmere there!)

OP posts:
Marasme · 03/01/2018 20:44

fluffy let's just say that I am still on hols, and that the will to live has not left me yet - just wait for Monday :/

LED face masks? Confused

I now need to go cull all the old products - at least it will free some space in the bathroom!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 03/01/2018 21:52

Good idea. It's a lovely versatile piece.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01NANWGRK/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8

Led face mask Wink

Marasme · 03/01/2018 21:58

OMG Shock

OP posts:
ilovecherries · 03/01/2018 22:06

I have a couple of these Lola dresses marasme. They are extremely comfy and easy to wear, but they have absolutely no heat in them. I wear them with the fleece lined tights from primark and a heat tech long sleeve top from M&S. I've never managed to find a jacket/cardigan that works with them, but I've got a huge blanket scarf from All Saints last new year that I fling round it.

Fluffycloudland77 · 03/01/2018 22:13

Ooh I've got two all saints scarves, fab quality.

The masks brilliant. Boring while you use it but quick results. I do 20 blue, green then red last.

Jon66 · 03/01/2018 22:28

Why not wear a thin polo neck underneath the dress, that way you keep the shape of the dress and that look is in style at the mo. Cos has some v good ones in the sale at the mo for 30 quid.

Jon66 · 03/01/2018 22:31

Also, if you like unfussy minimalist clothes, do go to Cos. You may have to try loads of stuff on. I usually try 10 to 12 dresses and tops at a time but usually end up with one or two.

Landed · 03/01/2018 22:53

marasme doesn't everyone who goes on tv have false hairpieces if their hair is thin/thinning? Could you make the most of any tv opportunity and get the make up people to advise you? (Don't upset me by telling me this isn't the case and the tv people have naturally bouncy full head of hair!)

Loonoonow · 03/01/2018 23:22

I have that Lola dress in navy too. And I bought it on the advice of a JL personal shopper! I love it. You can dress it up or down, wear it with trainers or heels. It's appropriate for almost any occasion. But it is flimsy, I wore it constantly through the summer but hadn't intended to wear it in the winter, but this thread has inspired me. I might try a camisole underneath and flat boots.....or maybe I'll stick to my pyjamas until summer comes.

Apparently they sometimes do it in other colours. I would love it in khaki or red.

Marasme · 03/01/2018 23:26

I'll try to go check Cos out before going back to work... maybe with DD.
DH hates that store - he calls it the USSR clothe rack :/

I have a few huge plaid scarves - will check if they go well with the dress.

fluffy - is the oil cleansing + tonic to be done once, only in the evening? What about morning?
Not sure I am at LED mask stage - you never know, I might upgrade soon :)

OP posts:
Marasme · 03/01/2018 23:28

@landed.... the type of TV I do does not provide make-up support for "professional contributors" like me - they are happy to have us look our scruffy self!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 03/01/2018 23:43

Lovely dress - you need under-layers with it. Do check Uniqlo - their Heattech stuff is genuinely very effective.

ilovecherries · 03/01/2018 23:54

loo, both olive and red are on sale at the moment (enabling). I just bought a red one on the HoF website. Olive makes me look awful, sadly.

violetbunny · 04/01/2018 00:01

I would see a dermatologist privately if you can afford one. It's worth it to get your skin issues sorted. Have been there done that myself!

Loonoonow · 04/01/2018 00:11

NoSquirrels

Yay. I just bought the olive. Sadly they didn't have the red in my size. I wore the navy one to death in the summer, posh city restaurants, BBQs, a funeral, beach bars. It is SO versatile.

And while I was browsing the HoF website an Urban Decay lip palette may or may not have fallen into my basket. So much for my makeup embargo.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/01/2018 06:28

I oil cleanse twice a day.

Marasme · 04/01/2018 13:42

Got my grapeseed oil just now - thanks Amazon Prime!
the bottle is TINY [60mL] - don't you go through gallons if you do it twice a day, fluffy?

I shall try it tonight...

OP posts:
Peregrane · 04/01/2018 15:29

Okay, you've just invested in a bunch of things and I hope they work out :)

But just in case you decide in a few weeks' time to keep looking: I've tried a lot of things from oil cleansing to La Roche Posay (the latter of which was indeed not bad), but what has finally made my skin happy, peachy and clear has been a line by an indie Australian company called MooGoo. They have a UK site too.

I think a lot of "problem skin" is reacting to chemicals in over-the-counter products that don't bother most people, but aggravate the sensitivities of a few. Keeping the ingredients list simple but effective has made all the difference to me (plus the addition of sulphur in one of the MooGoo face/body creams).

My routine now: wash face with pure honey in the morning if I have the time; exfoliate with soft sugar on top of the honey a few times a month; apply the MooGoo Anti-Aging SPF cream in the morning. La Roche Posay makeup remover in the evening (I use mineral makeup), followed by MooGoo Vitamin C serum and their Soothing MSM cream. I've not had such good skin since my childhood. (and I am not getting paid to promote them :) in fact I discovered them via another Mumsnet thread!)

On clothing: I totally get you re. needing to stay warm. I also work in a formal environment, and just invest in wool/cashmere pieces whenever I can (you can get pretty structured clothes made of warm natural fibres - they admittedly tend to cost a pretty penny but if the quality is good, they also tend to last very well).

Good luck and do report back!

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/01/2018 16:10

I started a 100ml bottle at the end of October, I've still got about 2 weeks left in it.

The massage supplies companies sell it cheap in larger quantities, the vitamin e stops it going rancid.

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/01/2018 16:19

How's it going?.

Marasme · 05/01/2018 16:33

hmmmmm - good? I don't know what to expect...

I was not sure how much oil to use, so used about four drops and massaged them in - felt nice.
Removed with hot flannel
Applied the tonic - a bit stingy, but pleasant
Finished with the LRP cream - I think I put to much on, so reduced the amount I used this morning to a pea-size drop.

Skin looked less angry this morning, and I have been a bit oily / shiny today - I guess it is normal?

I still need to go sort out my eyebrows, and take baby steps toward make-up (maybe once my skin is a bit more stable)....

I am thinking of what to wear for work on monday - but considering my motivation to go back in, I might as well wear a hooded sack a la palpatine...

OP posts: