Where were we? Flipping those darn flat pancakes again

[BeachysSandyFlipflops]

Hello, damn quick work there by MNHQ

Modestine, that sounds miserable :(

There is an East shop in my town. Obvs an excess of their target demographic round here. I ventured in today, following Rose's post, but remain unconvinced. Plus everyone else in there was about 80. It's next to the Edinburgh Woollen Mill, which dm (87 next week) refers to as the "old lady shop".

MI you should have given me a shout!
Childrens shoez? Much cheaper - DD buys lots of trainers in childrens sizes!

NU, size 4 seems OK. One of my little lovelies who turned 9 this week has size 7 (VII) feet. Bigger than mine

Oh yes, and children's socks. I'm all about the underage footwear, me. My gazelles are kids' ones - but they don't do the Crepey support the older foot requires.

Oh Moddy

Am assuming it's all over for today? I get that 'Why ON EARTH can't you pick up the other end of it????' When DH descends into DIY or Major Gardening. Because I'm a girl!! I'm not tying to be girly, I just don't have the same strength as you!! Grrrrr.

DS is off to alpine slopes with his 2 wheels next week. The bar job finishes tomorrow. Upside is that we are in the same hemisphere, with maybe an hours difference in time. (Probably need to check that). If he's hospitalised then 'all' I have to do is fly to Geneva.

Downside is that I miss the big huge hugs. Still don't get any from DH.

Also heading downwards into a grieving patch for DF. Been crying at odd moments.

I don't get the love for East. I used to buy loads from them, but hate all the patterned stuff. It 'wears me' rather than the other way round.

I had a mooch around Toast. Or toa.st as their web page calls itself. Bit too baggy in the main, but possible nice denim dress in their sale. It's still over £100, though...

Aww, Airborne....lots of experience on here of tears at odd times for dparents..take it slowly and gently and it gets easier.....(.I had a tear this morning sorting photos - found one of my ds, looking so very like my long-gone df - they never met.)

I like the colourblock East dress (navy and red).

Toast denim is usually v good quality Fluffy. I am wearing some cropped jeans right now and have a lovely denim dress... which one is it ?- link!

Thanks for all the sympathy - it really helps. Weekends are always difficult, and bank holiday weekends are one day worse. If I can get the house renovated (Ha! Not much of an ask!) I won't need his cooperation any more.

I'm sure grieving patches are necessary, Fluffy. And you'll miss ds. Martini, I so often see my df in ds, it's uncanny. Very interesting. Isn't It odd, as a woman, to have an adored father, and then give birth to an adored son, who is so like him?

Modestine

I have several pairs of sturdy and very hard-wearing jeans bought in Toast sales for a tenner - they are still going strong years after other makes go through at the thigh and generally give up the ghost: my cheaper ones at the moment are lighter-weight (and a nicer cut) but quid-per-wear would probably show them good value at full price

It is odd, Modestine. My df had his issues (I suspect depression) but he was a very, very good man with friends (male and female) who really loved him and have told the dc that. A lot to live up to......

Wow MI Toast trousers for a tenner??? You are (in my eyes) the best Bargain Queen!

The dress is a denim one. Called the Leila Dress. It's in the sale reduced, but still £105 haven't figured out how to do linkies on my iPad. Soz.

Still feeling pretty weepy today. Not sleeping well... and probably jangled by the fact DS is off again to do dangerous things very soon.

Moddy suggest you take dog for looooooooong walk. And then lose dog. Which necessitates being out all day. Preferably ending up in a nice cafe in the sunshine.

MrsK. How goes the travel plans?? Is it too early for gin?

That sounds awful, Modestine. DH gets grumpy when doing DIY - but so do i.

MI - you are indeed the bargain queen! Must say all that Toa.st stuff is v pricey.

Airborne - I've PMd you.

What is with the random stop inToa.st? Harrumph. Harrumph I say.

I don't like all the A-line stuff - makes me look A-line too.

Things will genuinely be much better once the house is in an acceptable state. In the meantime, I have no choice but to try to work with him. He is really insufferable if I dare to do things to the house without his consent. the fucker

Moddy ahhh yes...the control over work in the house. I just kept going ahead with things and my DH soon learnt that he either engaged in meaningful and reasonable discussion about the work ie agreeing with everything I wanted or he'd have to suck it up anyway. Otherwise he'd have to weather a Rose Tantrum which is not a pretty sight. Poor you. I sympathise, I really do. I second the long dog walk idea with a similarly long sojourn in a lovely cafe....preferably in that garden centre we both know where you can buy lovely things for the house as a start to your campaign. #Moddy's suffrage

fluffy you're bound to feel the loss very keenly at times. Be kind to yourself.

My first morning for ages with no early rising and some idiot cousin of my mothers calls at 9 to find out where she is..(she's away in Yorkshire with DBros family.) I am LIVID. I was asleep, genuinely. Anyway, quiet day planned. Must see if I can dig out any hot weather beachwear for going to the flat. I am hiding from the potential horror of my reflection when I try in a swimsuit. F**k .

On second day of hideous headache. They always seem to happen when I stop being stressed. A massive massage yesterday, courtesy of DP (paid for, not administrated) just seems to have opened the floodgates of tension, but maybe accelerated the relaxation process.

Off out to lunch in Islington with old chums, so need to dress appropriately! And dose up with painkillers that won't have unfortunate effects with alcohol.

DS is 'helping' tidy his room. This mainly involves me tidying, taking down train set etc, while he looks at books.

Moddy. It's ghastly when I get to that stage with dh.I have to live with DIY jobs that just never get done. I have lined up, as Rose suggests it, workpeople to deal with diy issues, but they are never allowed to go ahead as dh will not agree to pay. If I can afford it, I go ahead over his head. He suffers the changes in the house with HiGh Drama.
I also know that if you throw a tantrum or shout or even rationally explain hat you are PISSED OFF, it has no effect whatsoever. Just blankness. I have worked out that it isn't intended to be infuriating. It is just that he doesn't know how to deal with my mix of emotions. The next day it is like it never happened.

I think you can chose to either live with the situation or you move on. I threatened to move on so many times, especially in the early days of our marriage. These threats had no effect except that he shut down completely. Obviously I know now a little bit about Aspergers now. I have chosen to stay, but I know that choice was a tough one.
Moddy, in the first instance look after yourself. Don't be alone either. Letting him stew will have no effect , but you can bulletproof yourself by spending time on yourself.
Hope that makes sense

Modestine - DH and I used to clash over decorating - I took the Rose tack - massive tantrums - also pointed out that everybody else's partners had no interest in decorating why did he (who has no taste IMHO) have to get involved. He always admires other people's houses - ours is not like that - cannot think why.

Crem - am actually wondering if DH has mild aspergers - v good at maths - not able to express emotions - shuts down in conflict - had never thought of it before.

Am mightily pissed off - as it's Mother's Day in France - DH has gone on a bike ride - (OK I'm not his mother). DS has moved from the bed to the sofa and done nothing - have yelled at him. He said he had homework to do - yes well you could have got up before 11 am!

V worried about DD2 - who is a bit in uni limbo land now - I expect we can only wait for the results. I wish I was nearby to offer support. Again the story of one high flier and one who has to struggle.

Crem, I think I am married to your DH's twin brother... And Mod's DH seems to be a close relative as well.

There's no doubt dh is aspie, and he has self-diagnosed. His GP, most unhelpfully, advised him against pursuing a diagnosis. Crem, it helps that you get it, it really does. It's the lack of learning which is so difficult. It doesn't matter what I say, or how I say it: nothing will change. All of the work on the house means that we will have less stuff, and what we keep will be clearly organised and marked. This means that knowing what is whose will be easier.

Hatty, poor dd2. Was it your dd who wasn't sure of the subject before she went? Would it be a good idea if she tried to speak to someone now, and raise the possibility of switching, before the results are out? People do switch don;t they and her first year marks won't count...I know about being far away - the post exam limbo is very tough.

Crem and Moddy, how wise and perceptive you both are about what the real issues are.

We have almost the opposite problem - both very happy to get people in but people don't seem to want to....dull question alert -what do people think about windows? House is 1890s, wooden sash windows at the front mainly putty/silicone and rot. Should we replace with wood (we have used aluminium and uPVC at the back and very happy not to have to maintain). But the front is prettier and more like it would have looked IYKWIM.

We bought our house almost 18 years ago with double glazed UPVC windows about 5 years old already. So far no problems apart from slightly dodgy closing mechanism on DSs. No draughts and no complaints although obv not an original feature!

Wood. But be prepared for it to be very spendy. We had a sash window replaced years and years ago (in the 90s) and it cost £800 then.

DH ia not interested in Home Improvements and if he does any decorating, has to be closely watched as he is of the bodge-it-and-scarper brigade. I quite like doing decorating when I have time, but also like getting a man in