Where were we? Flipping those darn flat pancakes again

[BeachysSandyFlipflops]

Hello, damn quick work there by MNHQ

We took my mums ashes (vivid memory of standing at a bus stop last August with them in a canvas bag). Buried in garden, nice bush, very plain stone to follow..

I fear he will never come to a decision.

This is my dad we're talking about, remember. As you will recall from last year, comparisons with normal people don't apply.

MIL interred FIL's ashes in a local cemetery - all by herself with no reference to her 3 DS's. No talk about it, no discussion - but it did not surprise me.

My sister & I scattered our DM's ashes on her two favourite beaches & snuck back to the house she & DF had lived in for 40 years & did a (very small) stealth scattering in the garden, where DF's ashes had been cerimonially buried some years before.

Just watching the BBC news about the bombing with DD1, looked over, and she was absolutely sobbing. Poor thing. How do you explain?

Do you mean the garden of their house, MI? If he won't have that, how about some other garden-y place? I know our efforts, like yours, are probably futile however.

Herbs, I do admire your haul. That green T shirt is very clever in the way it incorporates cold shoulder without being nasty (like most, imvho), and you must look fantastic in that dress (and the trousers too - indeed all of it). I may take a look at them T shirts meself.

See, we are soooo S&B.

There a thread Cv, I think.

The Ariana Grande people have announced the uK shows are cancelled, btw. God it's awful. Just throws up all sorts of stuff from my own childhood that I had well and truly buried.

MI it's hard to see a solution in those circs.

Sorry, CV, x-post - and somehow I managed to miss a load of latter posts too. Apologies.

Is it fear, CV? Or sadness?

I don't think it's fear, but just seeing those lovely teenage faces on the news.....something so awful targetted at people just like her. I expect the exam stress didn't help matters.

Yes, so sadness about the state of the world - Weltschmerz.

Yes, it's suddenly now reading the names and details of the people who were killed that I find myself really weepy.

Modestine, perhaps another place she loved might work. He told me he "doesn't like to think of her as ashes" - in all honesty I would, I think, prefer that to the memory of her dying - the thing is, it's a level of closure he's refusing to deal with.

DP thinks his mum's ashes are somewhere in his brother's flat.

MI . i guess he'll decide eventually. He's just not ready.

CV poor DD. This has really hit the youngsters. DS2 phoned me from Uni at 11.30 the night before last because he couldn't stop thinking about it and had an exam the next morning and couldn't sleep. What really got me watching the news last night was not just the terrible waste of losing so many young lives but also the children who were orphaned when their poor parents, collecting from the concert perished in the blast. What must that be like.

Great haul Herbs I like the statement sleeve... (note singular...but my all time fave was as a teen walking around Peter Jones with BFF in paroxysms of laughter at the sign 'Baggy Jean', which was of course in the 80's)

I have had an inordinately stressful morning, with the boiler on the blink again and having to get DD (whose 17th birthday it is today...) to the theatre for 7.30am from whence a taxi is taking a group of them them to their maths retake exam centre....and the second taxi was half an hour late. anyway I am now contemplating an Atkins - type breakfast alone in a nice cafe to recover.

I have a mild hangover and am out again tonight...

MI - he should get them, keep them somewhere at home (not on the mantlepiece) until he decides. Maybe if you collected them - then that would be one step and he could take time to think about where he really wants them. If they are in the garden what happens when the house gets sold? Scattered somewhere beautiful sends her spirit back to the elements (well this is sort of what I'd like forgive me if it sounds a bit hippy).

Great haul from Sainsbo's Herbs - shirt dress could be from Cos. I'm enjoying the Sali Hughs thread - fashion designers should take note. MM - spot on about the bikini top under see through clothes . You made me laugh though.

Had a lovely day yesterday - apart from the dentist - ended up sitting outside quaffing rosé with friends. It turned into a bit of a session - they went off for a curry but I was good crepies and came back to my DH and DS! DS had made his special - cinnamon rolls which helped to soak up the alcohol. Have yet another long weekend here and then I think we're through the multiple bank holiday period. Have actually run out of things to do on bank holidays (as have no second home in Normandy). We shall probably lol around the house irritating each other.

DD1 starts finals today. One intense week and it's all played out. Seems crazy really.

Oh - DS is watching a thing called 13 Reasons Why on Netflix which is the in thing among teenagers - it is so slow I fell asleep and I keep mudding up the chief protagonists.

Have bought these to try as a'walking around ' dress for hols. Like the colour a lot.

Today is all appointments but going to see Frantz at the cinema tonight with old friend. Hope it's relaxing after 2diff hospitals and the vet for Cremcat's once over as new patient. aw!

Oh the frocks are from The Finery btw

I agree with Hatty, MI, collect them and keep them somewhere until he is ready. Or you and your dsis take half and do what you like with them if you would like to, and tell him no rush. We have never had to deal with this I don't think - think everyone has been buried and indeed there is one spot in the family plot on the western fringes left. If there is somewhere she loved, could you endow a bench and bury them underneath, would that appeal to him at all...or just the bench? We did that for my df and it is a place where people remember him.

I know, CV. The advice is to keep reassuring that these things are terribly rare, but that doesn't deal with the sadness. Crem, I was thinking how much worse it was for you yesterday, when I was explaining to ds what it was like in London when the IRA were active, remembering the different drills.

Good haul, Herbs.

Gorgeous colour!

Hatty, do you know about 13 reasons why? It's very slow but the end is quite awful so you might want to prepare yourself and possibly ds. I only watched a few episodes - it was sooo slow - but dh watched to the end. We had a few conversations speculating why dd2 recommended it to us knowing as we do now (but not at the time) how unhappy she was at school in years 8-10. Not a comfortable conversation tbh but she seems ok now.

He honestly won't take them and keep them, I'm pretty sure. (Yes, I know this would be the sensible thing to do!)

H&M has a couple of nice-looking shirt-dresses too. I nearly wore one today - bright red, v lightweight cotton with a bit of stretch - which I of course got in the chazzer but there are new ones too.

I am instead wearing a v pretty short-sleeved kurta in fine pinky-orange cotton over kneelength denim cut-offs. I'm sure I breach every single S&B rule, of course.

Like this

Better light (god dd1's bedroom is rancid)

Crem Finery keeps popping up on my FB feed, and I am really tempted. There are loads of posters dissing it on the main board though . I am still bemoaning my lack of nice summer clothes....

Am now seated in a very nice Cafe rouge, awaiting poached eggs. I just wish this nervous tummy would settle. I feel like I'm in labour....

Like the idea of a kurta over shorts MI

I like that look MI. Have just realised I didn't shave legs and it looks like it"s going to be a scorcher.

Love dress Crem. Also love kitchen photos although I have wood surfaces and they are a bit wrecked and black around the sink.