AIBU skinny shaming?

[SophieClaire95]

Hey guys :) just wanted to get a few opinions on this. I'm a about 5'2 and would wear size 4 trousers and a size 6 top. I am BY NO MEANS unhealthy/underweight/anorexic/ or have eating disorder. I'm a perfectly healthy 21 year old woman. So why is it that there is uproar if a store even considers selling a size smaller than a 6 ? Why is it deemed unhealthy? I find it impossible to get anything that fits well however of course there is no lack of larger sizes. A lot of people have made the usual comment 'there's nothing to you' or 'your all skin and bones' I mean what the hell? I'm told I'm ment to take it as a compliment. Okay how about your nothing but rolls of fat? Doesn't don't like much of a compliment does is? It's never bothered me much before but I'm sick of being told 'shop online/buy kids sizes/ put on weight. HELL NO! I have just as much right to buy well fitting clothes as anyone with a larger size can in a store. I'm not ashamed to be thin, I always have been. I don't fat shame people so why is it so different the other way around ?

OP, I really sympathise with this.

As a younger woman I was very naturally slim. Size 6s would often be too big. I was often told I needed to put on weight, which was so hurtful and gave me a real complex. But there seemed to be this assumption that because I had a "good body" (i.e. what society says is desirable) that I'd have enough confidence to not pay attention. Or I'd take these horrible messages on board and go and put on weight. I couldn't see why it was any different from telling an overweight person to just "lose some weight".

I also hate the whole "real body" and "real women" rhetoric. It others women who are slim/skinny and dehumanises them (us). Again, I think it's the assumption that because we have the ideal body that society says all women should have, that we're somehow immune to this sort of othering and dehumanising. As though personal comments about your body and weight are okay because you're slim.

I'm with you. 5ft 2 and Size 8 often too big. BMI is 21 so I could easily be slimmer and still be healthy And I see many many women slimmer than me. God knows where they shop. I think a lot of people have lost sight of what normal weight looks like. Interesting, despite vanity sizing, clothing starts at an
8 and goes you think 22 in most shops. As a child there was sizes 8-18 usually. Surely there should be more smaller sizes now for the people who were an 8 in 1990 and probably are now a 4/6

This is so true, OP. My mum is a size 6 and sometimes that's too big for her, she doesn't each excessively and has a healthy lifestyle but she's always been thin and this is just her weight. My sister is size 6 to 8. Both of them are told repeatedly by "friends", relatives and strangers and the media that they're not "real" women and so on. They also get pissed off with vanity sizing as nothing fits them. It seems that in 2017 it's ok to call slim people anorexic or bony or tell them they look unhealthy, comment on their diet or make assumptions about them. Very sad.

• eat, not each

Jealousy.

I am the same a size 2 in ASOS, and every time I see this one women she will say 'you need to put on weight' and other such comments it makes me angry, if I were to tell someone to lose weight I would be considered a bitch. I had cancer when I was early 20's I am about 48kg now, but lost weight so may have been about 43kg. I went out clubbing for my friends birthday. I was dancing and the DJ described my outfit and said over the tannoy that I needed to gain weight (and my friend that was with me) he mentioned how he should take me for a kebab. If he had described a larger lady there would have been uproar.

Hear you. I was a size 10 in late 80s. If that was now nothing in most shops would suit me.
Randomly, if it's your thing have look at Sweaty Betty. I'm a 14 now and with wanting a bit of drape to my clothes the xl can be too small.

Fair point.

My BMI is usually a bit under 20 (so in the healthy range) and I can be anywhere from a 4 to an 8.

Clothes size really is meaningless these days (I was similar size in the 1980s, but with a more defined waist then, and a size 10-12). I think and this is the other end IYSWIM of vanity sizing. Because a size 4-6 then (the time that seems to have stuck in the public consciousness) would probably be a negative number now!

, she doesn't each excessively and has a healthy lifestyle but she's always been thin and this is just her weight

But if a 'chubby' said this no-one would believe her/him (talking from a larger size)

I hear you re. the 'you need to put some weight on/eat something' comments.

I've always wondered what would happen if I replied 'and you need to lose a few pounds'.

I never do though because I don't want to hurt their feelings.

Well quite OP 👏🏻 Personally I'm a size 10 at 5'9" but my sisters are very teeny, they're under 5'5" and both a size 4-6. They are healthy and active and it's laughable that they can't get clothes to fit without people bleating that shops are promoting unhealthy lifestyles!

My DD was talking about this earlier this week.

She's always been naturally very slim -when you look at her red book you can see that from a baby to age 16 she followed the bottom centile all the way. It's just the way she is.

She's now about 5'5" and a size 6 and regularly has people tell her that she needs to eat a burger or a pie etc. She actually eats really well, enjoys food and can cook and bake well but because she has skinny legs and arms (just as I did at that age) people assume that she doesn't eat.

It really infuriates her at times.

I am also in your camp. Need a size 4 in whistles or childrens sizes. Cannot shop in a whole raft of shops and have to get a lot of stuff taken in. I am a professional woman, 46 this year, and yet people at work think it acceptable to comment on my weight. I am just little ffs!

BTW I meant to add to my post that I noticed the other day that Primark now do a size 4. Never noticed it before - that would have been a godsend for DD a year or two ago.

And actually even if someone isn't healthy at a size 4/6/8 they still need clothes to wear. My gran has gotten really small in her old age and it's a nightmare finding clothes to fit her that aren't made for teenagers!