If you are over 45, how do you stay fashionable?

[Destinysdaughter]

Or do you? I love fashion but tend to just wear clothes that suit my shape/colouring these days. I feel quite confident in my look and as I've always been quite busty, I've had to accept that a lot of fashionable clothes are cut for a completely different body shape and would look ridiculous on me.

So I try and stay current with accessories, shoes, jewellery etc. Wondered how other pp deal with this...?

We don't have a shop near me, so can only go on the website, and I just don't like the look of the stuff.

The older I get the less I care about what's in fashion - I pick what I like and what makes me happy...I expect that by the time I am 65 I will mostly be dressed like a cross between Steven Tyler and Captain Jack Sparrow (hopefully without the beard!) and I will love it

I love Cos but look like a goon in everything I try on there. I think it's for women who are a lot taller than 5'0" and also a lot smaller framed then me. DD looks lovely in their stuff.

Agent and MaQueen and Heinous, I've bought stuff from Cos mostly a red knee length skirt and a white and black spotted top - out of both of those I've kept the top but barely wear it. It either doesn't suit me or I don't like the look of it.

On SIL and her SIL (both tall and slim) their Cos clothes look great. I prefer & other stories (owned by some company).

I care what I look like as I always have done. My eye for quality and what suits me has improved with age.

I still buy/follow some fashions if I wish, I am quite capable of working out if I look great or a plonker.

Hi DestinysDaughter I made a decision when I turned 40 to try a lot harder with my whole appearance as i didnt want to simply disappear.

I had a HOC style day as well as a colour analysis and started following Instagramers, bloggers, YouTubers etc. and taking notes. I also stepped up diet, exercise and beauty/make-up.

I think you have to look at yourself holisticaly to stay fashionable, not just change clothes. A dodgy hair cut or colour or old fashioned jewellry can kill a look far more than an old pair of jeans in my opinion.

Im blonde/blue eyed and an inverted triangle shape and I like quite dramatic looks (like victoria beckham) so i wear clean lines and fitted stuff and add a flourish with jewellery or shoes. I dont think big boobs necessarily stop you looking modern but you do have to watch your waist otherwise you can look shapeless.

An idea is to find a celebrity who looks like you (colouring, figure, age and style) then emulate what works for them. I use cameron diaz and renee zelwegger, sarah harding and some of the older victorias secret angels and often get complimented and asked for advice on style and beauty.

I agree that the scarf thing is so frumpy, as are other things associated with comfort, e.g. Hotter shoes, Clarkes etc..

I had my colours done years ago and really glad I did as I wore black all the time and it really doesn't suit me at all! I'm a bright Autumn and love my colours. Black can be v harsh on ageing skin.

I agree that the scarf thing is so frumpy, as are other things associated with comfort, e.g. Hotter shoes, Clarkes etc

Help! What do you mean scarf thing? Scarves are now frumpy?

Also what shoes do you wear? I cant wear flat like converse anymore, cant wear heels and trainers dont suit me, I used to love shoes & boots but HELP!

Clarks shoes aren't frumpy - not all of them by any means. And in fact I have a pair of Hotter Chelsea boots that are extremely nice and have been complimented all over. One element of true style is being able to have open eyes and an open mind - seeing possibilities in everything.

I don't. I'm 50 (near as damn it) and I'd like to 'age disgracefully' to coin a phrase. I'd probably call myself 'alternative'—vintage dresses, Doc Marts, a couple of facial piercings and a shaved multi-coloured hairstyle.

I'm not interested in being fashionable. I'm interested in being ME

S xx

I think it's silly to dismiss whole brands ( clarks, M&S) or styles ( scarves ) as frumpy. They are only frumpy if it's not the right style , colour and shape for you.

When you are younger, it's easier to get away with the wrong thing - I mean wrong for you.

So many of us wore black in our 20s and 30s and looked stunning or at least OK . Because we had youth on our side.

Now I've realised that black isn't my best colour and I choose to only wear colours that flatter me. I shop in cos because I'm a dramatic classic and it works for me.

I'm sure it will look shit on other people. And they will look fab in black.

We were all different before our 46th birthday. We don't suddenly morph into this thing called " middle aged woman " the next day.

The challenge is the same as ever - what are your best colours, shapes and styles?

If Clarks and M and S are out, I'm doomed!

Clarks shoes aren't frumpy - not all of them by any means. And in fact I have a pair of Hotter Chelsea boots that are extremely nice and have been complimented all over. One element of true style is being able to have open eyes and an open mind - seeing possibilities in everything.
Couldn't agree more - I live in Paris and complete strangers have admired my Clarks and asked where they came from - some styles are frumpy, but there are also some great styles in there (usually comfy and well-made too). I try to teach dd that being stylish means you can find something stylish in any shop - even among racks of dross - it's how you wear it and knowing what suits you. By the same token you can find dross in the coolest shops - just because something carries a certain label doesn't mean it will necessarily look fab on you.

And I agree with what Kristina says, find what's right for you whether it's from Cos, Marks, Primark,or Harrods.

I'm 60 and decided a few years ago never to look frumpy! I wear my best clothes every day ( maybe not to do the gardening in though), makeup on, flattering length dresses ( just on the knee for me) accessorise with jewellery and a scarf. I also vowed to not go for a short grey hairstyle like my mum, so keeping it chin length and roots done every 6 weeks.
I have younger girls in the family and as friends so am never afraid to ask their advice as I also never want to look like mutton dressed as lamb.
One of my best friends is 75 and is a shining example of style for the over 60's.
I think clothes that skim the body, not loose and flowing or skintight are flattering whatever age or size.
In my opinion of course.

I struggle with this too, as I'm petite (dumpy) and busty.
I like Boden, Cath Kidston and Joules etc
Day to day tends to be comfy jeans, loafers and a tee/sweater.

Just bought the below from Joanie only £15!

I also tend to dress in what i like. I used to love hippie things and am still attracted to them - boho tops etc and will still wear them but its a case of not going OTT for me. If i wear a boho top it is with jeans. If i wear a boho skirt it is with a plain top. I kind of tame it down a bit. Its not really
about age, its about not suiting it being overwhelming now.
I always reinvent myself. Rather than the hippy type look i aim for more classic things. I love things from HUSH. Love their relaxed classic style. I have one of their dresses on today and feel bloody fabulous!!!! At the same time i love just being really relaxed in my jeans, old tee and a long sleeved tee under it. I am 49

I'm on the wrong side of 50 and struggle a bit adapting to my older self's shape. I am short and quite big busted, (I was a B cup before I turned 40) so the short neat shift dresses I used to wear don't fit. A lot of nice fashionable clothes look best on tall slim people only. My Mum (in her 80s) commented that she can wear pale shades like baby pink now, whilst once ( before her hair turned almost white, pale shades washed her out in her younger years. I tend to wear more black now - or greyish colours- whilst once I wore bright shades.
I have very fine thin short hair - and nothing looks right! A pixie cut - which is what hairdressers always want to do- just makes me look bald! I have never worn much makeup but now tend to wear a little regularly (my cheeks are red in all the wrong places). Experimenting and adapting is an ongoing process!

I'm loving this thread! I'm definitely in a rut and have a hoc style and colour day booked - so excited.

I think making an effort is more important than what you actually wear most of the time. A good bra and a hair cut that suits you makes the biggest difference of all.

I am 66 and having just lost 20lbs I think I look better/more stylish than I've looked for years. I am blessed with good bone structure (now more noticeable )and good skin and a short hair style suits me. Haven't yet given in to the grey And being slimmer has given me the confidence to break away a bit from the 'jeans/cashmere or other good quality jumper /boots 'look
I have been wearing a knee length denim shift dress a lot this winter with ankle boots and have had a lot of compliments (I do wear a scarf sometimes ,but for warmth round my aging neck )One of my friends wears the same sort of thing and looks great (she is 82).
But like most women I live in jeans -Tu from Sainsburys and Not Your Daughters Jeans (very cheap to very expensive ).I think it is important to follow current trends regarding their style (to a degree )and that they fit perfectly .I stick to dark blue or black. No rips ...
I think well cut clothes in good fabric are more important as you age but you can get away with mixing in the odd cheap item.
And having brutally honest daughters doesnt half help

pho3be I don't think scarves are necessarily frumpy (I wear mine to keep my neck warm not as a fashion statement!) but some people suit them better than others.

I've got a friend same age as me (well 44) who looks good in Joules Harbour floral tops and tunics, she also suits floral floaty scarves. I look ridiculous in them!

I would say this though, for years I thought I didn't suit jackets - like casual blazer jackets. Anyway I bought a black and white tweedy Zara suit years ago but just a suit and it was warmer as wool. One day I tried the jacket with jeans and a top and it suited me. Then I got a navy blazer from Zara too. It's still not my best look but I can wear them and it's handy for warmer weather.

Postchildren I saw two teenagers the other day one in ripped denim (you could tell they'd been bought or done that way, very neat) her friend with no rips. Who looked better?!

I think it rather silly to dismiss an entire shop (Cos), or item of clothing (scarves) or a hair cut (pixie crop).

I think it's nicer to keep an open mind on these things. My cousin worked as a stylist for Elle magazine, and Elle Decoration for years, and you don't get to work for those publications unless your taste is damn near flawless...she still wears scarves, and has a pixie crop and always, always looks very stylish bitch

I haven't seen anything I like on the Cos website, but there's a concession in our House of Fraser, I think, so shall check it out this weekend.

I wear a slanket, which pretty much never goes out of fashion.

MaQueen but I hate to say it but Cos rarely varies it's styles, scarves "do" only suit certain people, and so do pixi cuts!

I'd look ridiculous if I draped a star print Becksondergaard scarf round my neck, I hate Breton t shirts and not that keen on Converse!

But I like Vans, new balance trainers, tops that flatter me etc.

But yes check out Cos. the 2 items I've tried have just never been right for me at all.

Of course, scarves and pixie crops won't suit everyone. But, you should never just disparage them per se.