Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where those Crepeys is?

[GiddyGiddyGoat]

Ha!

I wore a dress that showed a bit of cleavage for my appraisal chat, and sat slightly too close to my boss. His visible discomfort was a treat.

Today's find in Granny Schadenfreude's larder was a cardboard tube of dried Parmesan best by 2002. It still smelled strongly of sick, despite having no lid. Oh and this:

Yes, Auriga - you are correct - DS attended DFriends funeral last week.

So... by the time I'd thrown a huge 'tantrummy colly wobble' late last night about 'Just HOW could you be so stupid to do that kind of stuff ALONE'. And I 'Do NOT want to be following you out of church in a coffin' - or even worse - 'Seeing you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life' - DS was suitably chastised by this morning.

His face looks a real mess, and unsurprisingly, work sent him home. Zero hours contract, so no money earned today. Lesson learnt, methinks.

MrsS - Do you have Power of Attorney? If the answer is 'Yes" - can you use that to good effect? If you don't, I suggest you do everything you can to wrestle financial control from your DM sort it.
I'm so, so sorry the situation has come to this. I will continue to ponder and report back on anything else...

Started to sort through joint finances. I feel so guilty just doing so...

Lalsy - I am off to watch kittens.

Beachy - safe journey home. Glad you had fun. Hope DS is OK.

Reasons to be Cheerful:

1. Achieved a whole weekend without a blow up from DH.
2. Got ipad mended today. Thank you Apple in Basingstoke.
3. I might - just might - sign myself up for a part time course for a year in London starting September. Two days a week. Time to get a bit of the 'old me' back.

Auriga, oh no I'm so sorry to hear you were in hospital. I hope it is the tablets you have predicted , doing the damage. It must have been awful having tests and The not knowing.

Cloud, a course might be just the thing. I'd very much like to something like screen printing or upholstery, but I don't think my hands would be up to it. Very sore after pulling my suitcase around yesterday.
Beachy sounds like you wrung the water out of Rome.sorry sorry to hear of ds being home alone while dh took himself off for a curry. Jeez. Roast his ass.

Mrs S please do not use that chilli powder , lol, although it might have medicinal properties by now.
Will you be commuting to forrin when you go, or moving the family lock stock etc? In either case Granny S will need someone to keep her on the straight and narrow won't she? I'm not offering btw

Crépies, my cat missed me! She came running to me andbeen snuggling me and slept on the bed beside me last night. It's lovely.

Auriga, hope you are now feeling a bit better and on the mend.

Cloud - she won't give me power of attorney in case I sell the house from under her! (This did actually happen to a friend of hers, who had a prolonged stay in hospital. She finally came out to find that her niece had sold the house, pocketed the money and skipped off to Australia. Friend now in grim council home.) Have given spare key to former neighbour who is the only person who visits her. Slightly worried about doing this without telling her, but the only person who has a spare key is the neighbour who is rarely there. Former neighbour unlikely to be after her money under the mattress as she is richer than Croesus, but my Num does not particularly like her, apparently. But if I can't get hold of my Mum, at least she can pop round and be there in five minutes, if she isn't on her yacht in St Lucia.

Well, now back in A & E. I've had about three hours sleep. I wonder if they would give me a bed too? She fell on the bathroom floor and it looks like she has broken ribs on the other side. I hope they keep her in.

Ouch, Mrs S, that sounds sore. I expect she will be in for today if not longer. Will this give you some time to sort out a bit of help ? Sorry you are shattered and worried. Last thing you need with work, too.

bit of a work nightmare here today. Will try to catch up on train home tonight. Hope all bearing up

Oh FGS, MrsS. Surely that means that she HAS to have help now. Is there a doctor or someone she respects (unlikely) and will listen to? Can you get them to come and talk to her and tell her that she has to have carers coming in each day/go into a place for some recuperation at least?
And some family to persuade her re POA?
Can I recommend the Elderly Parents board for advice - there are many there who have been through it all and can give really good support.

MrsS
I echo BTM re the Elderly Parents board. They're a knowledgeable lot.
You'll find someone who's been in the same situation. And more besides....

I recall my DM (when my MIL had turned to drink big time, and was letting strange men peruse the contents of her attic at the opposite end of the country) that sometimes you cannot force situations. You just need to let them unfold.

Don't wring your hands over what MIGHT happen. Deal with the crisis AS it happens.

So (as predicted) your DM went home, unable (unwilling, non?) to accept help, and has caused herself more injury. You may - just may- find that she gives in a little, when presented with the facts that she either has to go in a home, or accept help AT home. Suggest the options are given to her by someone she listens to. Doctor? Family friend?

Actually, who does she listen to?

I have to say, MrsS that you are giving her your ALL. Don't go down the guilt route. She is quite a piece of work!

Totally agree Cloud.

Agree with everyone Mrs s. You decide what you can do and that's it.

Rose very good luck for today. My main contribution as well as agreeing with boobs, is make sure you are comfortable in whatever you wear.

Beachy your holiday looks wonderful but sorry to hear about ds.

Mi - thinking of you as wearing dark blue sparkly loafers from m&s kids

And me with the agreeing. Suspect GP may be your best ally. Might she by any chance give formal written consent for you to deal with GP openly and freely? That was the only real positive of my mum's passivity.

Aargh MrsS! Having a fall is often a turning point. Hobson's Choice for your DM, I'm afraid. Either accept help/go into a home or be left to fall again and stay in hospital indefinitely. You've been amazing. Agree re GP and a good Social worker experienced with the elderly.

So today we start to dissolve our membership of the EU and embark on the path of utter folly. And closer to home I find out whether I need to dissolve a writing partnership of 3 years and a friendship of over 10.

MrsS! Trouble is that all the services are so stretched that if they see a hint of a relative being able to help they'll jump on it. You have to be firm - now.

Rose what a poignant last paragraph to your post. Hope your meeting is better than you are expecting.

I,at last, feel well again. And more cheerful than I have for a few weeks. Really had the black dog for a bit but feeling a lot more positive today.

Glad to hear that you're feeling better, MM. Rose, your last paragraph touched me, too.

MrsS, the situation with your DM reminds me of the situation my DBiL finds himself in. His DM lives in sheltered accommodation with carers visiting. She is really too unwell to stay there but will not move into a nursing home. The pattern with her is that she falls, goes into hospital, is eventually discharged (it's not unknown for her to be in for a month). And the whole thing starts again a couple of months later. Nobody will insist that she goes into a care home as 'it's against her rights', her DC try very hard to persuade her.

More holiday questions: our plans for the US have changed slightly: we are now flying to SF and staying with our friends again, before driving down to San Diego. DH has decided we might as well take two or three days driving down, i.e. One or two nights in hotels. Any ideas of where to stay, what we should visit on the way? We have done this before, but can't remember what we did. Any suggestions welcome. I do remember that we have done the 17 mile drive.

Oh NU, that sounds like a fab trip - just what I had hoped to do this summer.

Rose, I hope the meeting turns out better than you think.

MM glad you are feeling better.

I am at home waiting for the locksmith to come - need to get our locks changed as DD's keys have gone missing (long story) so I am using the time to do the washing/cooking, etc. I'm also making a list of all the jobs that need to be done by a builder/decorator, in the hopes of lining one up for after the A'levels finish!

BTM I know a lovely, lovely decorator - his son was in DD1's class at primary and will indeed be in her class again in the sixth form!

Rose - courage. I recommend sitting back. Talking quietly and leaving pauses. Gives the upper hand, apparently. Though I've never managed it myself.

Mrs S - we found the district nurse surprisingly useful and accessible re our parents. And is a suitably authoritative matron type that your mum might (just) listen to...

Also... last lesson of my class going on right now. They're doing a reading assessment. But after that it's all fun games about grammar, with eggs as prizes. Hopefully many left over for me.

DP is in Brussels, ironically, in this fateful day. I'm still hoping for a last minute knight in shining armour to save us from ourselves. Like in the movies.

Texted my mother's neighbours to tell them she was back in hospital, and they texted back to say, helpfully, "make sure her care package is in place before she is discharged." Gee, thanks, wouldn't have thought of that. And already this morning, she has told them that she is in no pain, can walk unaided, gets out of bed no problem. I said, usually this is the case, but not right now. They asked if this was true and she just glared and wouldn't say anything

Mrs S , your dm was always going to be the biggest Crepey Challenge , when it comes to Elderly Management. Somewhere along the line, there has to be a nice young registrar that has the bedside manner of an angel, who will persuade her of what's best. Until that miracle happens, I think you will have to plough ahead and set something up. If she refuses the care package on offer, maybe a paid handpicked 'help lady' could come to smooth things over in the short term.?

MM so pleased you are feeling better. You've had quite a run of it you poor thing.
NU your trip sounds amazing, and well deserved after such having to recover from knee surgery. Let me see if I can find you some interesting overnights between SF and SD.

Am resting today, with my cat. Just about to have a shower this morning, and they have turned the water off. So am still in my pjs until they sort out a leak down the road. Grr

For NU
http://www.ticklepinkinn.com/#ATHS at Carmel by the sea has to be a must, just for the name.
www.lucialodge.com Big Sur
cambriainns.com/sand-pebbles-inn-cambria-ca/ Moonstone Beach, Cambria
www.gordaspringsresort.com Gorda Springs also at Big Sur
www.packardhouse.com/ a Packard House Inn at Mendocino
www.spindriftinn.com in Monterey
www.uphamhotel.com in Santa Barbara
www.lodgetorreypines.com La Jolla

NUF - The Big Sur on Highway one is closed at Pfieffer Bridge until October (I think). You might want to find out about that before you book stuff!

Gosh...Crem you are a gold mine of information. NU I am

MrsS all I can do is send you moral support. Agree with what Crem says...maybe take unilateral action on the care front.

Well, it has happened. We are writing again. I have been treated to lunch, affirming comments on my cleavage attire, and explanations and apologies. Next session booked to resurrect project 2, a week today. Let's see how long it lasts. Last chance saloon from my POV. Thanks for your support, sartorial advice and kind words Crepeys. I have a sense of Groundhog Day but we'll see.

On fast train back to London. Apparently if she refuses help or aids or care package, there is nothing they can do. But ward sister was clear that she won't be discharged until she can walk unaided and get herself in and out of bed on her own. Care package is st GP's discretion apparently.

Crem, you are a star; lots to digest there. Thanks so much. DH and I are suddenly excited by the holiday: we are so pleased to be going to see our friends again in Santa Rosa, and one of the things I do remember from a previous trip was how beautiful the coast is. MM, thanks for the info re Big Sur, it may be useful as we will be there mid September. Last time we stayed in a motel overlooking the ocean, the cliff edge was within a couple of yards of our patio and all sorts of wild animals visited at night.

MsS, just what my DBiL is told each time.

Rose, much as I would like to rejoice for you, I can quite understand why you are wary. It's wonderful what a good cleavage can do.