Overweight and invited to trendy bar...

[ExcellentWorkThereMary]

Please help! I'm overweight and do not feel good about myself at the moment - I am doing something about the weight but it takes time as we know!
I've been invited to a friends 40th birthday. It's at a "trendy" bar in town and there will be lots of posh / rich / cool people there...
My current dress style is casual, and probably childish ;) I like hoodies with cartoon rainbows, I wear jeans to work, I'm a trainers and denim skirt girl when I go out. My hair is blue...
I'm fighting all my instincts to not go to this party and be the fat weird girl. It's a good friend's birthday and I want to go.
I don't have much of a budget but I think I need something new. I have NO idea where to start...
I am five foot nothing, apple shaped, and a size 14-16.
Please help me!!

What about going to a department store, maybe John Lewis, and asking for help? Try lots on and be brave, you may be surprised what you end up buying. Have you got a good friend or relative you trust that could go with you?
Please don't worry about your weight. You just need to find something you feel good in. Remember all the 'cool, trendy people' will be busy worrying about what they look like.

I'd go black.

Well fitted understated black dress (will look nice with your hair).
Well applied make up.

Have you had a look on chichi curve? They do some lovely dresses!

You sound like you look cool. It's a cliche, but be yourself - your friend wants you there because they want you there not a version of you that will "fit" in with the decor. If you want to dress it up a bit, then go for it but wear what you're comfortable in. Converse and jeans are great for a bar but if you want to go "smarter", biker boots, jeans and top? Maybe look at it as partying up your current look...suggestion to go with friend you trust to try on stuff out of your comfort zone is good - make an afternoon of it, have a glass of wine and treat it as fun? If you want to go the little black dress route, I've got this and it's really flattering... and now bargain price in the sale joanieclothing.com/product/florence-frill-hem-dress/?attribute_pa_size=8&attribute_pa_colour=tap-shoe-black I've worn it with black converse to bar,I like the clash of smart and causal!

I think I'd do a swapsy so you don't feel too uncomfortable..

swap casual jeans for smarter ones , swap hoodie for maybe a loose silky top with a soft jacket of some sort

sort of "upgrade" what you normally wear? have a look on pinterest for ideas maybe search "smart jeans outfits "

have fun:)

Seriously, just be yourself, you will feel so much more self-conscious trying to be anyone else.

People will not think you're weird. To be brutally honest people will probably not really think about you at all. Most people don't.

I hope I don't sound patronising, it's just that I did the same thing once. I wore my coolest dress to what I thought was a super trendy party, but everyone else there was much more dressed down than I. I felt a bit silly that I had overthought it so much.

By all means, by yourself something new, but make sure it is "you". If it is something that you feel suits you and looks good then all people will see is your confidence.

How about wearing the denim skirt an trainers, but buying a good quality material jumper to go with it?

There's a really good plus size fashion blog called archedeyebrow.com/ - maybe have a look there and see if anything inspires you? There are lots of good blogs out there and they are great for when you feel you need a new mojo.

PS for what it's worth you are entirely average sized!

I'd go dept store get something from Mint Velvet or All Saints if your budget allows.

Also search EBay, they have great All Saints jersey dresses.

Black skinny jeans would go too (Primark).

You sound fabulous! I'd second the biker boots, jeans, t-shirt and maybe blazer?

Ps OP - I'm not 100% sure but I've seen Apple shapes your size and height and they look great.

I would say scour EBay for all saints tops etc...

You want a sort of band/draped all saints etc t shirt.

Biker jacket would look great but for this night you don't really need it.

How about something like this?

www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/swing-jive-dresses-c3/valerie-blue-fairytale-castle-print-swing-dress-p3360

Thank you so much for replies and oh my goodness I love that Lindy Bop dress!!! I will have a look at the other links too, thank you. I don't want to feel uncomfortable and I know that a PP is right when they say people aren't really going to care what I look like... but I want to feel ok about myself too. And be able to enjoy my evening without worrying about how I look (which isn't easy but if I am wearing something I love it helps!)

What sort of colour blue hair do you have? Pale or royal or something else?

A friend of mine has green hair (emerald green) and sounds like she has a similar figure and height to you. To events I have seen her wear a black jersey drapey sort of dress with green suede boots and another time with green glitter court shoes - both times shoes were the same colour as her hair and both times she wore a pashmina wrap over the dress, again the same colour as her hair - she looked absolutely amazing.

Agree that lindybop dress is really stunning I would wear it with royal blue suede over the knee boots, but I am not very stylish and have some odd ideas on what looks good so feel free to ignore me!

Wow that dress is gorgeous and you could pop a black jumper over it for other events so it looks like a separate skirt.

Glad you like the lindy bop dress, it's a really good price and they have some nice shoes too. 😊

Lindybop's Gothic Castle Print swing skirt is also very gorgeous (addicted to their website now). Reminds me of my favourite woven wrap for DS, Kokadi's Ewan Im Wunderland. Sorry, getting distracted

This one from Lindybop is also rather nice OP...

www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/swing-jive-dresses-c3/sinead-moscow-print-swing-dress-p3265

I'm still in sequins mode after Christmas but how about a blue sequin mini? There will be loads left in the sales. Then dress down with biker boots, opaque tights (I wear cable tights with mine to keep cozy at this time of year) and a logo or slogan sweatshirt? Pretty similar to a normal night out for you but a tiny bit more dressy. Then a biker jacket on top or a warm coat (longer than the skirt) if you live in the north.

I've found some biker boots on everything5pounds.com (not sure how to do link, sorry!) which I have ordered! I have skinny jeans which I could wear, but I am very tempted to buy the Lindy bop dress (or several, the site is awesome and loads in the sale!!) too. I have some Iron Fist shoes which would work with that style of dress... (worn once to a wedding!)

For the poster who asked, my hair is a dark blue colour (the dye is called Capri Blue) and is a short cropped style.

Just googled the Capri Blue and is looks gorgeous, fantastic colour! Iron Fist shoes are really stunning and I think you're right that they would look great with one of those Lindy Bop dresses.

Personally I love the blue sequin mini from River Island and I think that it would look great with a plain black V neck top with 3/4 sleeves, some funky Jewelry, thick black tights and boots with a bit of a heel. And lots of red lipstick. It will be a very flattering outfit for an apple shape.