A Very Crepey New Year

[Cremolafoam]

Will this do ??

Morning all.

Cocoa - welcome back. It is a tricky thing, inviting people to memorials / funerals and so on. But I do know that if one of my close friends loses a parent I want to be there.

Hatty - how irritating about non-coordinating DDs. But hey, mum will just accommodate us, won't she? Poor DH (although the phrase "willy waving" always makes me giggle).

BD - sorry to hear the black dog is in town. But if it spurs you on to deal head-on with some of the persistent issues at work, then maybe it can be a force for good. New Year, New You, and all that.

Here, I've been ridiculously busy at work. Assistant is back in today, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to load her up with all the tedious tasks that are filling up my inbox which I just haven't had time for. The office move is getting closer, so there has been a revolving door of tradesmen quoting for carpets, painting, removals etc. I realised yesterday I've booked the carpet replacement for the main conference room for a day when there is an immovable and very important client meeting scheduled. Do you think they'll mind sitting with their feet in the air? Had a meeting yesterday with potential new IT company, which would be wonderful and take away a lot of my pain, but FD muttered that they were too expensive.

Oh they're going down like flies! Crem You really do need a few days of peace and indoors with an even temperature! Pneumonia doesn't get better if you ignore it. MrsS you were far to ill to be at work...I hope as it's Friday you'll cut yourself some slack today. Molly Oh no... you as well.

I am sorry and worried for the DSs, Tilly and Beachy

Difficult one, Cocoa I put the notification of My DDads stone setting on FB actually, just so friends knew about it, and left it to them...unless they were not on FB and close enough to me, for me to want them there, and tell them personally.

Hatty Sorry there's trouble at mill. Sometimes DH puts a whole heavy atmosphere in the house if he comes home after a bad day. Men are so bloody.....tribal, is the only word I can think of! We are still in semi Xmas hols mode here as DS doesn't go back to Uni until the weekend and DD is off time table until the week after next! TBH she is starting to look exhausted and pale...she'll need that week off next week, but I'm dreading it. She's already demanding I take her shopping... However we do have her Spring Term timetable now which is very full on...and includes Saturday mornings all term....and lots of evenings in March.

I am joining BD on the dreading January birthdays bench...who was it who asked...Addle? I always get like this and I'm not proud of it . It's part to do with age...i'm going to be 56 (fifty six, Lvi), isn't that too, too terrible? But the main thing is DH and his inability to make me feel special on birthdays, anniversaries etc...and he just nags me constantly from about November about it every year....ie, for exact instructions about what to do, buy etc. It's the same if i send him to Sainsbos for the shopping to be frank. I too share BD's annual anxiety about having done nothing with my life and look back at my lack of achievement and irrelevance with dismay. Anyway, DH has done the usual thing of wearing me down so i just agreed with the usual theatre trip and family tea out...well, he takes my stony silence as compliance. Ok, first world problems. Trivial.

I am off to see first client of the new year. Hope Friday bring better things for all Crepeys. x

Cross post MrsW we had the boiler drama before Xmas...commiserations.

The shit has hit the fan at work, and there is no-one else in, so am going in for two hours MAX to sort it.

Is it your shit MrsS? If not, I'd call in sick because you ARE sick!

Mrs S - I do not think you should go in - let them sort it !

Mrs Wobble - hope the boiler gets sorted - ours is still clunking away thank god.

Rose - firstly I'd never have put you at 56 - you look amazing. Secondly - I've long since given up expecting DH to surprise me - I think it's just not in his make up - he doesn't know how and then, in fairness, he doesn't dare for fear of making a mistake. I did get a very nice purse for Christmas this year as DD1 had spotted what I needed, selected on internet and sent DH with precise details to go and buy it!

Also Rose - spot on about tribal men and gloomy atmosphere in the house!

In haste as about to start some very chilly volunteering. In cords!

Cocoa, if a close friend asked if I could attend a dp's memorial service, I would be touched, and go if I could.

Likewise Lalsy, I'd be very touched and drop everything.
I never even thought of things like invitations to a memorial service. I assumed you just put a note on the funeral homes website and in 'the paper'. ( it's all a bit local here I suppose) Cocoa, that's a lot to deal with considering you are only back.

Mrs S , You are mad going in to work. Please join me on the semi-recumbent chaise longue as soon as possible. I arose those morning. Had coffee and toast, and could feel eyes closing again. Have just slept for another 4 hours. My body is screaming at me to rest. Rose you are right and your advice is most sensible. Btw 56? Are you having a laugh? You look sensational. Sorry the season makes you sad. There will soon be daffodils 🌼 my lovely.
BD, so sorry for you and the dark hound as well. Don't be alone, we are here.

Hatty, what infuriating children they are!!! The house must feel empty without the girls though!

Infuriating children indeed. I just sniffed my way through a jumble of clean and dirty clothes strewn over DD1's room to find the dirty laundry she was supposed to provide me with.

Crem, you are proper ill, aren't you love. Sleep, eat, repeat. Stick your head out of the door or by a window for daylight too at some point.

Hope you are home now Mrs S.

CV great your assistant has a big list. She will be pleased to roll up her sleeves and get stuck in. Nothing worse than having nowt or being micro managed.

Beachy your stuff about ds and the fizzy/fuzzy and the past paper was beautifully expressed. It must be so hard not to be stressed, and for you BTM.

Loads more to say but must get back to work. Chin chin.

Rose, are any of your children in a position to help your dh improve his birthday management? I know it's not the same as complete spontaneity but it might still be an improvement.

And MrsS, why do you persist in bailing out your boss? Surely it's his problem to solve and however much he tries to delegate it to you he can only make it your problem if you agree. Based on your postings here you come across as suitably strong and stroppy when needed so why not at work? Take a leaf out of the southern rail staff manual and take a week's sick leave - I'm sure you've got more reason than most.

And in boiler news: today's plumber called in sick so British gas are trying to find another. If it's not fixed today I assume it will be Monday and we'll all have frozen to death by then I think.

Brrrr, MrsW, that sounds cold indeed. I hope they find you a plumber. I had to huddle in bed while Scott and Howard from DynoRod (colleagues of the aforementioned James of DynoRod) were here. Dh had to deal. For once. We now have a brand new water pipe and better water pressure, hallelujah. A slow roll-out of house improvements - very slow.

Ah, birthdays. Some dps are just hopeless. Dd is a good ally for me - i instruct dh to ask her.

On Wednesday I was alarmingly "fast-tracked under the two-week rule" by a GP who looked both terrified and ready to bury me tomorrow. Dh of course was unmoved, as was I, denial being a very wonderful thing in times of need.

I am home now. I'm not bailing out my boss - the problem was giving the entire department, apart from me and A N Other, leave over Christmas when things got really busy and immediate. There are more people here now, but not the right people - ie it would take much longer to explain what needs to be done than to do it myself. Then, as it's high profile and interesting, other people decide to get involved and it adds to the chaos/workload.

I have tea and loving cat, plus galette des rois for tonight. She gave me a piece to try in the bakery and I got the feve. So I am King for today!

But MrsS, who made the decisions about Christmas leave?

Well that's a good question, Mrs W. There is usually something that comes round about leave cover, but nothing did this year (new head of dept). So each team leader essentially gave their team members the leave that they asked for, without thinking about leave cover. And there is the never-ending argument where parents demand the whole of the school holiday period off, and the single people argue that they need to be allowed to go home for Christmas and not spend it on their own in London, and the other argument, whereby everyone needs a break. I agreed to work up to Christmas Eve (and was the only person in that week) and my colleague covered Twixmas, and was the only person in as well, and there was too much work in both weeks for one person to do (which is why I spent much of Twixmas on the phone to the office and emailing).

Gosh MrsS That was, as we would have said a "balagan" ...does your ivrit extend to slang!!! You now have a huge favour to call in as regards Xmas leave by the looks of it. I once got into a terrible argument at work on the days when I was working on the Paeds wards. There were only two of us with the training for it...I had a child and the other person didn't. We weren't allowed to be on leave at the same time, consequentially. I walked out of a meeting when for the third year running I was told to move the dates of my summer hols. Fortunately at that point my boss realised the situation was unreasonable and got a locum in...
However you need to stay put on the sofa with pussy cat and get better!

Molly you're scaring me...are you getting better?

brrrrrr MrsW. British gas did come back to us and sort the problem on the next day...new heat exchanger and a new pump but they left us with a gas leak and I had to call out gas emergency who switched everything off again. I do hope they sort you out soon...it was relatively mild when we had our problem but it's bloody perishing now!

Thanks for the sympathy re Birthday blues. I can assure you I am every in the 56 year old...it's just being a bit fat means it's the arse rather than the face that shows it.... I just wish DH would say that he'd had a few ideas and shall we discuss it, rather than just standing there clueless. He ain't gonna change. The DC seem oblivious. DH used to recognise that I need to get away from the kids sometimes, and arrange an overnight in town after the show, or away somewhere. He never suggests it anymore. Even when DS2 has offered to come home from uni for the birthday weekend to be with DD. Ah well, it is what it is. I need to buck up.

Had a nice morning with client who is making great progress...and parents are really pleased and want to continue treatment. Then an hour and a half phone convo with annoying trustee organisation who are being very welcoming and accept that I don't want to serve on any working group alongside Annoying trustee (who is removed from the board now) but will come back to them happily otherwise. Perhaps a little more work in the offing.

Balagan is right and a perfect description (it's the same word in Polish). Davka , they need to sort it out sharpish as it will happen again and again. And noooo, you can't be 56!

Time for more medication and a nap, I think. My Yekke friend has been texting me with lots of remedies for a cold, most of which involve lemons and all of which involve alcohol.

Don't be scared, Rose - I'm not!

No, really, I went to the doc with a ragbag of complaints, but one of them lit the touchpaper (small post-menopausal unexplained bleed) hence panic in said doc's eyes. Dh was all: "What about her cough? Surely a bit of catarrh?" Doc: "Which hospital for your MEGA-URGENT gynae oncology appointment?" Dh: "Yes, but she's got a cough! How do you explain that ?" Me: "Oh, nice pictures on your lovely wall." We must have seemed a right pair.

Really, I don't think I need to be overly worried. I'm glad they have the two-week rule, but it does further the cause of panic by its very nature.

Nice pictures Molly? Do you think GP provided them himself? (staying nicely in off-topic mode for you [tea])

Oh, alright then

I'm impressed that your DH went with you, Molly. My DH hasn't come with me for any medical appointments, whether pregnancy scans, melanoma clinic, breast clinic etc. "I'm sure you'll be fine on your own/I'd only get in the way/I will come if you really, really want me to."

Molly {{{{ }}}}} {{{{{ }}}}} {{{{{ }}}}}

DH really isn't remotely up to dealing with my birthday this year, so with his blessing and relief, I'm designing it top to toe and couldn't be more delighted. The night before, I'm having family takeaway then on the day I'm springing off into town in the afternoon to meet seven amazing friends, several of whom haven't met each other before. One friend I've known for 45 years, another 31, two others 27 etc... I'm so excited about bringing them all together. On the Sunday I'm hoping to do a half day spa thing before seeing the friend who's staying off on a train. To be honest, DH has always felt the whole sorting things out for birthdays thing a bit overwhelming and I usually get a feeling about what would make me happy. When I left it to him to stand or fall one year, and he fell, it was horrible (worse for me of course )

Oh yes, WAF, they were quite splendid pictures and I could describe them for you in great detail.

MrsS, we are a very odd couple in the dr's surgery, though. Dh performs better in a private doctor situation because they like the way he waves his credit card. I am grateful that he comes, and will take time off at the drop of a hat - IF I can convince him that I really am ill . I have tried not taking him along, and overall it's better with him. Although debatable.

WAF your party plans sound wonderful!

MrsW - Do you HAVE to use B Gas? Am assuming you have some kind of cover with them...
I'd be hopping mad with them. (Also hopping to keep warm )

Can only suggest taking out membership of local leisure centre to allow for hot showers. They're desperate for new members at this time of year!

WAF - I had a significant birthday this year, and was nagged to high heaven about what I was going to do... In the end I did lots of 'little' celebrations, like you're doing, culminating in my mini break in Bath back in November. That was with friends who last saw each other at our wedding over 20 years ago. It went very well indeed - and even better by the time we'd shared 2 bottles of wine and several G&Ts at the pub on the first night.

However, my present involves a whole lot of work on my part, which I have yet to get round to... Need to get MILs eternity ring remade into something else. Seemed silly to go and buy 'new' when we had it knocking around in the safe... Anyone know of someone? Pref London or SE based...

Colly - you sound 'proper crook', darlin'. What happens next??

MrsS - Can I add a (supposedly) eastern European cough remedy to your cache? Chop an onion into tiny pieces. Drizzle with honey and leave in fridge overnight. In the morning, scoop out teaspoonful of the liquid (which will not smell or taste of onion, I promise) and repeat in the evening.

With regards to the service, I think I have 2 old friends who are coming with their Mums. I'm sure that will be enough. There may be more that I don't know about.

I've said nothing on FB at all about my father dying, so don't think I can start now!

WAF - I'm extremely envious of all your plans. We may be mere days apart in age but clearly you are light years ahead when it comes to Milestone Birthday Planning. I'm a bit sad that I've planned precisely nothing - Iceland has been shelved until later in the year (possibly May half term), and I can't face a winter party. Maybe it's because I do nothing but plan/arrange/organise from nine to five, and I'm all organised out by the time I get home. DH, however, is the master of surprises (he will never surpass my surprise 40th party and holiday to The Maldives, all arranged and executed behind my back) and has told me to take the day off work (it's a Friday), arrange for DM to come overnight for teen-sitting, and he will book something lovely.

Molly - sounds a little worrying.....hope there really is nothing to worry about. I have a smear test on Monday (bleurgh) and not looking forward to it. I guess gynae worries never really go away.

MrsW - I feel your pain re: heating. Ours packed up not long ago, and the plumber wasted two days trying to resurrect our not-very-old-but-completely-buggered boiler before admitting defeat and fitting a new one. Our house gets very very cold if the heating is off for more than an hour or two, and takes a long time to warm up, so we leave the heating on pretty much all the time. Sod the gas bill.

Honestly, CV, your dh needs to run seminars for the rest of our dhs/dps. What a star. I had remembered he surpassed himself.

I think as well as gynae ishoos never disappearing, the power to shock and scare young doctors increases with age. Who'da thunk it?

Cocoa - I await said appointment so they can give me the all-clear. I've had a cervical polyp removed before, albeit many many moons ago, so obviously it's that, not anything else.

There is a jeweller called Aurum in Croydon which was recommended to me, although I don't have personal experience of it as yet.