A Very Crepey New Year

[Cremolafoam]

Will this do ??

Not the women's march, MI, after reading their twitter and the comments on the feminism board here. I may join an Open Britain thing.

Aha missed those. I shall look...

WAF, at bonding over creaky feet.I love my insoles - they have changed my life. Sorry you are not feeling better.

Without getting into a separate argument, my views on trans issues don't accord with the MN approved line (and I've been a card-carrying feminist since about 1980) so I shall still go.

Right. Just setting off to get DS from school then off to DP parental hometown to stay overnight for funeral tomorrow. I am fully braced.

New phone arrived, but like the divvy I am I seem to have ordered the SE, not the 6S. So now need to undertake some circuitous process to change it. Gnnn....

I may check into tomorrow, but it could be viewed as Bad Form.

Herbs, we are here as and when you need us.

MI what is the MN approved line on trans? I find the feminist threads on here quite scary.

Herbs i have an SE and am happy with it fwiw📱
Waf you always make ne giggle. Well done on keeping to the diet. Im pleased for you that it seems to be making a difference.

Herbs thinking of you and sending strength for tomorrow.

MI - what is MN view on transgender.

Minus 6 this morning and it went up to zero. Teacher in tears about how some of her pupils have done in an important test which has implications on their future in the school. That's commitment.

Keep us posted on the 11th Rudy - fingers crossed you can make it.

Down with shitehawks. Up with wonky Crepeys. Your use of language is truly wonderful, WAF.

BD, your Q on trans is brave. The feminist chat line is at odds with MNHQ, I would say. I would not begin to expound on it, although I do follow it all with interest, without getting involved. Tis educational, to say the least. You can learn a fair bit from a fierce argy-bargy with links.

Good things today:

I have lost half a stone through minge worry Every cloud a silver lining, eh?
Snowdrops are out in the garden and it is mild and sunny
I used some gorgeous hand cream sent by my Secret Santa, and felt loved and blessed - THANK YOU

Line on the chat boards is vvv anti-trans. I feel I can't go along with it, given that I have trans mates and all.

But I mainly stay out of it. Just as I used to stay out of it when I got shouted at for disagreeing with a poster who has now thankfully departed this board. It's all very 'hey, I just discovered feminism!!!' I tend to point out I've been round this block since the days when separatism was mandatory and they don't impress me.

And yes I meant the feminism boards not the MN line. I'm not sure what I do think about trans stuff but I don't see my transwomen friends as Plotters With Penises.

WAF, I bet you do look a size smaller - you are just not seeing it yourself.

I OTOH am a size larger. And look it Maybe minge worry isn't a bad thing. As long as it all turns out to be OK in the end, of course.

Molly and MI, those threads are scary - I only glance briefly and then run and hide.

No marching here as I am off to Bath for a Spa weekend with pals

Ooh BTM sounds lovely and well deserved - have fun.

I keep sleeping badly for no reason - am exhausted again today. I am not especially worried about anything, getting fresh air and exercise,, but it feels like my body clock is very easily thrown off. I have always been like this (and realise much less important than many crepey health worries, just having little moan).

Herbs, I hope it goes smoothly. Look after yourself, in amongst everyone else.

WAF, it is odd how body shape changes - I am sure it will be obvious in clothes that fit your new size! And at Molly's minge worry weight loss plan - shall we market it?

BTM, if anyone deserves a spa weekend.....have a good time and relax as much as you can.

MI, nor do I. I agree with Miranda Yardley, who is trans, writes on and challenges notions of gender, and posts on the feminism boards. And that's as far as I go on these debates these days . I agree Molly, re argy bargy with links!

Have a great spa weekend, BTM - you do deserve it. Should be fab. Please report back in great detail!

My weight loss plan can be fronted by the good-looking young GP with his terrified face on.

I'm sick of worrying about my weight. I have since I was nine (9, ix) years old and my parents told me I was getting fat. I wish I could just lose a stone and drop it.

Oh god, Molly, I am hooting. I would love to see a glossy brochure along those lines.....

MI , that's awful - says so much about them, nothing about you and yet has had such an impact.

deletes own perspective on Plotters with Penises interesting discussion to be had but face-to-face, not here

Molly, I'm so sorry to hear you were worried enough to lose weight. Hope the worry has calmed down enough for you to relax again.

BTM, have a fantastic spa day.

Heard today that friend from med. school has died of AML. He was my best friend for a while and three of us shared a house, but then he got a gf who was insanely jealous and cut him off from everyone who was close to him (I realise he must have allowed this).

I desperately tried to befriend her, even inviting her home with him for my 21st, which she dominated with her histrionics. Nothing worked.

For years I dreamed that she had relented and would let us all be friends again. Now it's too late. And the third housemate is terminally ill (cheerful post, this).

But another friend from those days has sent me a link to friend's blog, which shows he stayed with jealous gf and they were happy, so it worked out well for him and she helped him to a good death.

Hope MrsS has a big cathartic laugh at Wild Honey ("Beetle Juice! My mortal enemy!") arf.

MI, reading your post, I found myself suddenly angry with DM; not because she disparaged my weight but because if someone else, like my Great Aunt, said something tactless, Mum would endlessly repeat it to everyone as a funny story about Great Aunt. "Can you believe she actually said it out loud, she's such an original, I suppose at her age she can say what she likes" etc. So Mum could humiliate me all over again without saying a wrong word about me.

If I hadn't had therapy, it would have been only too easy to repeat this with DD. And I like, love and admire DD, as I'm sure my mother did me and your mother did you. It makes me wonder how anyone survives family life in any kind of reasonable shape.

I was pondering this very point , this very afternoon with an old friend I shared a house with about 25 years ago. (XXV twenty five) We became friends through a mutual ex -boyfriend. We fared much better as friends with each other than we did with the bloke. ( says a lot about him) I decided I survived with maintaining a sense of humour. She decided her survival depended entirely on moving far far away from her rather toxic lot.
Auriga I'm so very sorry about your friends death. Unbearably sad. And what you said about your dm quoting unrepeatable insults really resonates with me. "Your father always said he thought you were both fat and stupid, but I tended to say you would both be alright if you lost a bit of weight" this in front of the entire assembled family, children included. Then a kitchen aside:
"I know you are only overweight because of your diabetes dear"

Yeh!

BTM love the way you just thread-bombed with the words " spa weekend in Bath" sounds amazing.

No comment on trans gender issues, as it is too close to home.

On my way home from work catching up with you lot. And not for the first time I am reminded of how lovely and happy and supportive my parents/childhood/upbringing was. I can't really imagine how difficult adolescence must have been for some of you - I never felt anything other than loved and appreciated for who I was - not treated as a special snowflake but allowed to make mistakes and learn from them but never ever in doubt of my parents love and support. All my parenting aims are to provide that for my girls and if I achieve nothing else I will die happy. I think society underestimates the cost (emotional and real) of dysfunctional parenting - i don't know what the answer is but I do know how lucky I am.

More prosaically, dd3 is a bit down - a combination of the comedown of the adrenaline rush from Oxford, a cold and mock exams. She said her teacher told her there was no point going through her exam paper as she doesn't have an Oxford place riding on it - fortunately lovely housemaster is on the case and dealing with it.

No, really, my mother didn't 'like, love and admire' me. She said she did - everyone told me "she's very proud of you" but that was because she wanted people to think she had the sort of daughter she was proud of. Me, not so much. If I'd lost two stone and got an academic job, perhaps. But as it was, no.

When asked if she is proud of me, my mother clamps her lips firmly closed and looks the other way and refuses to say anything at all (although she did tell a friend of mine that I was "a really horrible child"). She also used to say to me "Aunt Rachel thinks it's terrible to be as fat as you" (this was when I wasn't remotely fat - and I never saw Aunt Rachel, this was gleaned from photos) and "Aunt Rachel thinks it's terrible to have sex before marriage because it's something your husband can always throw in your face - that you are spoiled goods." Aunt Rachel also thought I'd have quite a pretty face if I wasn't so fat/had a different hair cut/had larger eyes, apparently. Aunt Rachel never thought anything of the thought - this was all my mother.

In other news, the play was fantastic, apart from the woman sitting next to me, who was wearing a large leopard print faux fur hat. She spent the entire performance belching garlic salami smells and farting, and every time I moved or leaned forward a little, said loudly "I can't see, I can't see." We were in the front row. There is no way I was obstructing her view., although I am not sure the woman behind her could see through her hat.

More news, DD2 has had an urgent referral to CAMHS for her anxiety. We assume it is for this, but as she won't tell anyone, we don't entirely know. Maybe the CAMHS people will get some sense out of her.

I hope you have a fantastic spa break in Bath, BTM. It's an amazing spa, if you get a choice, have the hot stones foot massage. It's truly amazing!

Mrs S, I hope that 'urgent means urgent' and that dd2 gets some help there. We got in very quickly, which actually made me understand more clearly the severity of the situation. However, from what I understand, they may just be investigating the use of medicine for anxiety, which they can't prescribe without CAMHS. We are due back there shortly to see if we want to go down that medical route soon.

It's strange, but I've always believed I had a very full and loving childhood. My dmum are or were very alike and although sometimes it was brusque and a bit piss takey, I always knew that if I was in a battle, she'd be right behind me and whisk me away if it ever got too much. We run a pretty similar home here; they can always rely on me, but there is a lot of banter. I think it's pretty hard to parent differently from your parents if you've had an ok time of it. Dh was a little different; he got quite upset the other day when I retrieved all my old reports from dads house. My dmum had kept them all religiously in a big brown folder with my name on... we had a lot of fun going through them, but he realised that his parents had never saved anything of his - hardly any photos, reports, bits of work. It made me promise to work harder to preserve their bits and pieces, as it was such a bit of history and I was very grateful that she'd made the effort for us.